Dancing with the Stars 5, October 15: Lift-Gate

Last week on Dancing with the Stars, the couples performed the jive or tango; Cheryl & Wayne were put out of their misery and eliminated from the competition. Tonight, the stars and their professional partners take on either the paso doble or the Viennese waltz. The name “Viennese waltz” makes me hungry for Vienna sausages, so we better get started and take my mind off of food!

Tom and Samantha welcome us to the program. Samantha looks great for being a new mom and probably needing some sleep.

The first couple to dance tonight is Kym & Mark. Kym tells us that Mark thinks too much. Mark wears a gizmo of some sort to help with his posture and stance.

The couple is dancing the Viennese waltz to “Mr. Bojangles.” While Kym glides across the dance floor, Mark is more heavy-footed and sloppy. He also does a soft shoe move that is cheesy; however, there is one moment during the height of the dance in which Mark’s posture is superb and he is light on his feet. If he had performed this way throughout the dance, the routine would have been spectacular. It may sound as if I didn’t enjoy the performance, but actually, in my opinion, this is Mark’s best showing so far.

Len tells Mark that he has become a more rounded dancer. Bruno refers to Mark as Bigfoot in a suit, but adds that his dancing is improving. Carrie Ann tells Mark that for once, he didn’t sing to the music while dancing.

Samantha talks to Kym & Mark backstage, and flubs her questions right off the bat. Oh, how I’ve missed her!

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a seven while Len gives it an eight. Kym & Mark have 22 points.

The next couple to perform is Sabrina & Mark. Sabrina giggles at Mark during practice. Mark scolds her.

They are doing the paso doble to “You Spin Me Around.” What I like about the performance is that Sabrina’s moves are sharp and crisp. She also works her dress into the dance. The routine ends a few seconds off of the music, but other than that, it’s fast-paced and enjoyable.

Bruno tells Sabrina that she was incredible. Carrie Ann says she can tell that Sabrina wants to win the competition. She also mentions “perfection.” Do I smell a goober? Len couldn’t find anything wrong with the performance.

All three judges give the dance a goober. Sabrina and Mark have 30 points out of 30. I’m guessing that this will be tomorrow night’s encore performance, but who knows; there could be more goobers tonight.

Jane & Tony and now set to dance. Jane tells us that she’s an artist. Is there anything this woman can’t do? She and Tony paint with their feet while they dance. I wonder if they will auction off the painting for charity.

They’re dancing the Viennese waltz to “Piano Man.” Jane looks elegant and Tony is dashing. They compliment each other well. Jane’s lines are beautiful. Tony has choreographed a routine that fits Jane perfectly. The performance is dream-like, but I’m not floored by it. I actually think it is the waltz in general that I have issues with and not this performance.

Carrie Ann calls the dance gorgeous, but she felt that Jane & Tony performed an illegal lift. They promise her that they did not do any forbidden moves. Len points out the fact that other couples have pushed the boundaries of lifts and that tonight, he doesn’t have a problem with it. Carrie Ann can’t figure out why. I wish she would just move on from this; if someone is going to cheat or break the rules intentionally, it won’t be Jane & Tony. Len then tells Jane she did a great job. Bruno said that the dance was delicious. Bruno isn’t helping me with my hunger pains.

Carrie Ann scores the dance an eight while Len and Bruno give it a nine. Jane & Tony have 26 points. Samantha shows the couple a clip of their performance and claims that Jane’s feet were both off of the ground at the same time. Jane tells her that one of her heels was on the floor because that is how she practiced. I thought it would take longer than this for me to become completely tired of Samantha, but I’m done with her already. She needs to give it a rest.

Up now are Karina & Floyd. Floyd tells us that he was upset last week after being in the bottom two; he felt like he let Karina down. He and Karina meet with a group of children; it seems to lift his spirits.

They’re dancing the paso doble to an instrumental piece. If you know what it is, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll check the show’s website later tonight for the song’s title. During the dance, Floyd shows his passion; however, his posture is weak. He can’t stop carrying himself like a boxer. The good news for Floyd and his fans, though, is that he shows off his excellent footwork. At the end of the performance, he lifts Karina and spins her. (Of course, I’m watching to see if she has a foot on the floor.) The move is awkward and isn’t executed well.

Len loves the fact that Floyd gives each dance his all. Bruno says that Floyd applied himself and that the paso doble is his dance. Carrie Ann says that the lift the couple did was beautiful (huh?), but questions it. She then explains that if a dancer can’t do a move on his or her own, then the move is illegal. If that is the case, then we’ve seen a lot of illegal moves over the past five seasons. Can I get an amen? Karina makes a noise as if to say, “This is the first I’m hearing of that rule.” Finally, Carrie Ann gets back to the actual dancing and says Floyd’s posture and footwork were great.

Carrie Ann gives Karina & Floyd a seven; Len and Bruno give them an eight. Floyd plugs his upcoming fight. Samantha says something backstage, but I ignore her.

Mel & Maksim are up now. Mel explains that she wants to get better each week. Maksim says he can’t get Mel to focus. The two try to meditate together, but it doesn’t work.

They are doing the Viennese waltz to “Breakaway.” Maksim, in his vest and tie, looks like he’s going to the prom with me, his super-secretive girlfriend. (It’s such a secret he doesn’t even know.) He looks yummy and very dapper.

Oh, and Mel’s dancing is elegant. Seriously, she moves like a dream and her stance is beautiful, but I prefer her when she’s moving quickly. Also, the one thing that bothers me about the dance is how it ends; the two stop dancing and walk away. That’s it.