America’s Next Top Model 9, Episode 7: Wall Slide Special

Finally, it’s time to tape the big dance scene at the end. Heather says she is pushing herself, but hasn’t eaten all day. Sarah comments that it’s hot in the room and she sees Heather ball up in a corner. Everyone realizes that she’s exhausted and runs to get her water. As Heather is carried off the set, Enrique stands there and looks as if he couldn’t care less. What a gentleman! Heather continues to fall, and sits on a chair gasping for air until she passes out for a hot second. She gets some oxygen, though, and feels a lot better. Saleisha comments that Heather is not a partier, and not very high energy, so this was a lot for her. But Saleisha knows this because she’s 19 years old and goes out every night boozing and gambling.

The medic eventually gets Heather back together and tells her not to push too much. She gets some food and the other girls help her out. Not Bianca, though. She tells the camera that this competition is too much for Heather, and she would never do well if she won because of the stress. That Bianca is so helpful.

When the girls return to the house at 3:00 a.m., Tyra mail is waiting for them. It says that someone is going home in the morning, so in true ANTM fashion, it’s morning already! The girls get ready and Chantal says she isn’t nervous at all going to panel, since she can dance and act. Umm, she couldn’t even dance by herself against a pole for five seconds! Ambreal says she’s nervous because she shouldn’t be there. Now that’s a legitimate reason to be nervous if I’ve ever heard one! Off they go!

Tyra greets the girls as usual, and tells them of the prizes. She introduces the judges as well, including video director Jessy Terrero. Ms. J. has on the biggest afro ever. He’s such a queen – I love it! Tyra tells the judges about the video, and that they will be shown clips tonight on how the girls did. Lisa is up first, and Nigel is feeling it. Ms. J. seems quite pleased as well. At this point, I just realize that Jay Manuel wasn’t on the show this week, and that makes me happy.

Ambreal is shown next and she does the wall slide. Of course, Ms. J. can’t resist a “heeey, girl!” Tyra thinks it’s “hoochie” and not very model like. This is so ridiculous. She did exactly what Tyra told her to do! Saleisha and Sarah are next and Tyra comments that Saleisha was very high-fashion and not “the girl next door” at all. Sarah says that she loved it, even though she held her face when it was shown. The judges bring up her losing weight again, and comment that she was brought on because of her proportion, which she is losing. Speaking of losing, I’m losing my mind every time they bring up Sarah’s weight.

Heather and Jenah are next. Heather does her thing as normal and the judges love her to death. She can do no wrong. Jenah had a smile on her face that didn’t look evil at all, so the judges are actually a little disappointed with her. Next is Chantal, and her film is terrible. Tyra says she was holding back, and all the judges agree. Bianca does her chain thing and the judges love her cool confidence. I think that’s actually cockiness. They should look closer.

Now it’s time for deliberations. Here’s what the judges have to say:

Lisa is fine this week, we know that. The camera loves her and Tyra thinks that even though she was one of the weaker girls during training, she really popped on screen.

Ambreal has no magic to Twiggy, so I guess that she’s the next TT, which is now short for Twiggy Target. Jessy says that he didn’t think she was hoochie at all, and that she fit the part perfectly.

Heather was a little off this week, but still stepped it up a little more than they thought she would. She’s awkward, but Tyra says she can fix that.

Saleisha looked great in the face. She worked it out, and all the judges are pleased.

Sarah isn’t improving to Ms. J. Nigel thinks that her pictures are good, but there’s really no leap. Ms. J. makes the dumbest comment of the night by saying he’s not sure if she was ever plus-sized to begin with. Nigel adds that he thinks it’s different when you claim to be plus-sized and you aren’t. Did she ever “claim” that?

Chantal was stiff. Tyra thinks that she was nervous, but adds that any director would have cut her right out of the video if she performed the way she did on that shoot.

Bianca wasn’t very fluid to Tyra, but Jessy says that she had a very bad-ass quality about her that he really liked. That’s because she is bad-ass in real life!

The girls come back in and Tyra tells them she only has seven photos. The first name called is Lisa. She’s followed by Heather, Saleisha, Bianca, and Ambreal, who is surprised that her name is called. Tyra commends her, but tells her to remember what she learns and use it. Jenah is called next, and Tyra tells her that she has been working hard since the beginning, and is normally always called near the top. She was given some critique this week, though, and fell apart. This is a wakeup call that she needs to work just as hard.

Sarah and Chantal step forward. Tyra tells them that neither are at the top of the pack. Sarah is coasting and doing well, but her place in the industry is confusing. Chantal is beautiful but coasting as well. Tyra adds that her performance in the video this week was a waste of film. The final photo goes to… Chantal! Sarah is immediately on the verge of a breakdown. Tyra tells Chantal not to lose her shine, then begins to console Sarah and tell her that she had an amazing transformation. She hugs the other girls and leaves the room. Everyone is genuinely upset and crying. I’m simply pissed off.

Sarah packs her bag back at the house and says she really wanted this. She’s glad she was chosen, but wishes she could have hung around for more. I’m so irritated that the reason they eliminated Sarah was because she was “losing weight.” I’ve seen some dumb reasons since this show began when it came to getting rid of girls, but this has to be the idiotic ever.

Next week, Heather reaches a breaking point and finally confronts Bianca. I’m already foaming at the mouth. Also, the girls get stranded in the desert. Maybe they’ll bury Bianca and Chantal in the sand! Here’s how I’m ranking the girls for next week:

Lisa

Heather

Bianca

Jenah

Saleisha

Ambreal

Chantal

Phil Kural is an office manager at a dental office, and graduated from Temple University with a degree in journalism. You can send feedback to him at pkural@gmail.com.

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