Dancing with the Stars 5, November 13: Road to the Semi-Finals

Before we get started, I want to pose a question. Brenda wrote to me asking why the female dancers all wear the same tan colored shoes. I researched this and could not come up with an answer. Does anyone know why the shoes are standard? If so, let me know.

Tom and Samantha open the show and review last night’s action. I highly recommend that you read my recap instead; it’s less annoying and more succinct.

Our co-hosts also review the current standings:

Len says that he, Bruno, and Carrie Ann selected Julianne & Helio for the encore performance. The dancing duo performs its quickstep once again. Watching it, I notice how together Julianne’s & Helio’s moves are. Impressive. This time though, at the end of the dance, Helio doesn’t kiss Julianne. Awwwwwww.

Gloria Estefan entertains us with “A Bailar.” Not only does she sing, but she dances as well. How can you not love Gloria? Ella es en el interior y hacia fuera hermosa.

Samantha chats with some of the couples backstage. She mentions that the show has been nominated for a People’s Choice award. If it wins, can Yoko and I share in the glory?

The audience tells us its thoughts about the previous night’s performances. Of course, everyone loved Julianne & Helio and Mel & Maksim; Bruce Jenner felt sorry for Jennie; a bunch of horny woman expressed their desire to take Cameron home.

Tom and Samantha reveal the first couple that is safe. (Wow, it’s only 9:18 PM.) It is Marie & Jonathan. Oh. My. Stars.

Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo are back. Great. They read a letter from a viewer asking how Tom tells the difference between Dancing with the Stars and America’s Funniest Home Videos. To find an answer, they stalk Tom for a while. He eventually shows them a video of each program. In the first one, a little boy hits his father in the crotch with a baseball bat. In the second clip, Julianne and Helio perform… and then the same little boy hits Helio in the crotch with his bat. Hilarious.

Choreographer Fatima Robinson dances for the first time in six years on television… and it’s for us! The performance features butt shaking and pelvic thrusts. The best part though is watching some of the more conservative fans in the audience enjoying the dance.

It’s now time to learn more about the professional dancers:

• Maksim – Len says he is rough on the outside, but sweet on the inside.
• Julianne – Len saw her perform for the first time when she was eight; he knew she was special then.
• Jonathan – Maksim says everyone loves to be taught by Jonathan because he is a genuinely nice guy.
• Edyta – Len likes the fact that Edyta pushes her celebrity partners to do more.
• Derek – Edyta feels that Derek is one of the best dancers she has ever seen.

Next, Gloria sings “Conga” while the professionals dance the cha cha cha. Beat! One of her backup singers reminds me of Niecy Nash!

Backstage, Jennie tells us she loves elimination night; it’s exciting. She’s as cute as a bunny’s tail.

Two results coaches tell us what each celebrity needs to do to win. I check out. Sorry.

Tom and Samantha finally tell us that the next couple moving on is Julianne & Helio. They also say they won’t be revealing a bottom two tonight. OK, then.

The judges weigh in on their opinions regarding the three remaining couples. Let’s just say there is a lot of love in the room tonight.

The next safe couple is revealed. It is Mel & Maksim. They strike a pose.

The couple with the lowest overall score is Edyta & Cameron. This means that Jennie & Derek are in the semi-finals.

Cameron and his tight pants can’t believe what Edyta has done with him. Edyta is proud of him and what he has accomplished.

Edyta & Cameron dance their last official dance as the show comes to an end. Will the remaining couples bring it on in the semi-finals? Will Carrie Ann ever get out of her funk? Will I stop asking questions? Tune in next week for the answers to these and other burning questions.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and reality television. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.

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