Kitchen Nightmares, Episode 7: Finn McCool’s

Welcome to another episode of Kitchen Nightmares, the show where, each week, Chef Gordon Ramsay descends upon a restaurant that has fallen on hard times and helps the owners restore the place to its former glory and maybe beyond. He will do that in less than one week. You can read my recap of last week’s episode, but it is not necessary, since each episode is its own complete story.

This week finds us at Finn McCool’s family restaurant in Westhampton. This town is a playground for the rich and famous in the summer, but in winter it is all but deserted, with the locals shuttered up in their homes, drinking large quantities of alcohol to ward off the chilling sea breezes.

We find some of those local residents at Finn McCool’s, pounding back shots of liquor. Buddy, the owner, tells us that the place is basically an Irish pub. He opened the pub the day after he retired from his 20-year stint as a Southampton police officer. Both of his sons work at the restaurant.

Son Jason is the bar manager. He says everything runs pretty well with the exception of his brother. Son Brian is a chef at the restaurant. Brian tells us that it is a pain in the ass to work with family.

Buddy tells us that Brian is very arrogant and he cuts corners all the time. In fact, his nickname is “Chef Shortcut.” We see a short montage of Brian taking shortcuts (like frying bacon in a deep fryer) and generally acting obnoxious.

Melissa, Jason wife and a waitress at the place, agrees. She says she fears that Jason and Brian will come to blows some day.

Buddy tells us that he hopes that Chef Ramsay can come in and tell Brian that he’s doing everything wrong. Brian steps in and says that he doesn’t need anyone telling him how to do his job. I think we can see where all the drama will come from in this episode.

Buddy also briefly mentions another problem. He says that there is no significant signage out front and maybe people don’t know that it is a restaurant. I think that’s an easy problem for Ramsay to fix, so we needn’t dwell on that much.

The family tells us that they worry about Buddy’s physical and mental health. He has invested everything he’s got into the place and it is not doing too well. Buddy is trying to hold up, but the stress is getting to him. Something has to change. Who will save this place from ruin?

Wonder no longer, because here comes our knight in gleaming apron. It’s Chef Gordon Ramsay. He steps up to the front door and declares that the place doesn’t even look like a restaurant. He calls it grim.

Chef Ramsay first greets the staff. Carol, a more mature waitress, smiles like a fool when she meets Ramsay and confesses to the camera that she’d really like to get her hands on him. Ramsay asks her what the problem is with the place and, after some hemming and hawing, she finally blurts out that it is Brian’s arrogance that is hurting the pub. Brian responds and claims that he is just being honest and saying what needs to be said. The rest of the staff speak up and agree that Brian really is the problem. An argument ensues and there is almost a fistfight.

Ramsay just shakes his head sadly and then goes over to an empty table and gets ready to order up some grub. He asks whether the clams are fresh. Melissa admits that they are frozen. He shakes his head and shrugs as if to say, “At least she’s honest.” He orders the Irish spring roll, the salmon, and the shepherd’s pie.

Brian cranks out the food and declares that he is confident that they will get a good review.

Outside, Ramsay confides that the place really doesn’t feel like a family restaurant. They are supposed to be fun places with lots of atmosphere. This place doesn’t measure up.

The spring roll shows up and Ramsay tastes it. He looks disgusted. He asks Melissa if people really eat this and she says that they do. He says that the customers must all be drunk or something. Buddy looks on and declares this to be the toughest half hour of his life.

But it gets tougher. Next up is the salmon with a balsamic reduction sauce on top. Ramsay wrinkles his nose at it and says that it is the sign of a bad chef when he drenches everything with vinegar sauce. He tastes it and says that it is horrible.

Finally is the shepherd’s pie. No one can mess that up, can they? It is just potatoes, gravy and meat. Unfortunately, it is very greasy and Ramsay calls it disgusting. I note that he didn’t say it tasted bad, it was just too greasy.

To really ram home the point, Ramsay makes a bee-line to the bathroom and then we hear some retching noises while Ramsay is in there. It is unclear whether Ramsay really is throwing up or whether those sounds are dubbed in. I mean, the food didn’t seem that bad, it was just poorly prepared.

After a short break to regain his composure, we find Ramsay in the kitchen. He is telling Brian that when a chef cannot even make shepherd’s pie correctly, it worries him. He gripes about the salmon too.

Brian has answers for all of these problems. He says he was taught how to make shepherd’s pie from somebody who learned it from somebody who once went to Ireland. He says the salmon always gets rave reviews. Besides, he says that he really doesn’t care what Chef Ramsay thinks.

The announcer tells us that restaurants in the Hamptons need to do well in the summer and also attract the locals during the winter. Ramsay visits the local fire department to see what they think. When Ramsay asks them about Finn McCool’s, they shuffle their feet and look away. One finally says, “They have a lot of fried food.”

Ramsay offers to buy them all a free meal at the restaurant and each man starts making up excuses why they can’t accept. Ramsay tells the camera that the best way to keep the community on your side is to keep the local firemen happy. I’m not so sure that logically follows, but we’ll go with it. The firemen finally accept the invitation.

Meanwhile, Ramsay decides to inspect the kitchen. He finds grimy shelves, open cans of food, cooked food next to raw food, and buckets of unidentified meat. On the bright side, Ramsay does find one of his own cookbooks on the shelf.

And so ends the discovery section of the show. Now we will start to clean everything up. Ramsay trots everyone into the kitchen to scrub it down and throw away all the nasty food. Jason is a bit upset because he is the bar manager and resents having to clean the kitchen. He notes that he wasn’t the one who dirtied it up.