Dancing with the Stars 5, November 20: Three to Tango

Monday night on Dancing with the Stars, each couple performed a ballroom and a Latin dance; overall, the performances were well executed, but one couple has to go home. If we can make it through the next hour of filler, we’ll find out who has been eliminated.

Tom and Samantha open the show and review last night’s program. You can read my recap instead; I need the support!

They also go over the current standings:

Is it just me or does Samantha wear a similar dress each night?

Len says that he, Bruno, and Carrie Ann selected Jennie & Derek’s cha cha cha for the encore performance. That’s nice; Jennie could use the confidence boost.

Avril Lavigne performs “Hot” for us. Does anyone else think she looks like Heidi from The Hills?

Samantha talks to the celebrities backstage. She asks hard-hitting questions like, “How hard would it be to not make it to the finals?” Gee, I wonder what the answer to that could be.

Members of the audience tell us what they think about last night’s dancing. People comment on hips, whips, and smiles.

Tom & Samantha reveal the first couple moving on to the finals. It is Marie & Jonathan. Everyone on stage with the couple smiles politely as if to say, “We are in trouble.”

Backstage, Marie is giddy. Jonathan tries to say something, but Samantha won’t allow it.

Kenny Mayne investigates the dark side of Dancing with the Stars. He talks to past celebrities who have gone to rehab to overcome their addiction to dancing. Tucker Carlson says he is a dancer no matter what “they” say. Lisa Rinna also wants to stop her tanning addiction. Harry Hamlin wishes he could have done the paso doble. Laila Ali says that she breaks out into dance in the grocery store.

I’m going to miss this crap when the season ends.

Michael Flatley choreographs and performs in a group routine for us. I’m sorry, but I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t move his arms when he dances. It just seems wrong. [Associate Editor’s note: And his legs flail about as if independent from his body!]

People from the media talk about the drama of the season. Wow, even Kimberly Caldwell makes an appearance.

Avril Lavigne returns to sing “Complicated” while Sabrina & Mark perform. It is a shame that this couple isn’t still in the competition, but what can you do; the people have spoken. Their dance features cartwheels, spins, and, gasp, lifts.

The stars share their thoughts with us regarding the competition:

• Jennie brings realness to the contest
• Marie has a wisdom the others don’t possess
• Mel gives us fun
• Helio is energetic and charismatic

Tom & Samantha tell us the next couple continuing in the competition is Mel & Maksim. Hooray! We get to spend another week with Maksim’s rugged good looks.

Carrie Ann says that Jennie has struggled but blew her away last night. Bruno still can’t believe how good Helio is. Len picks Julianne & Helio to return next week although it is a difficult decision for him. Does he get his wish? Tom ends the suspense by telling us the eliminated couple is Jennie & Derek, which means that Julianne & Helio are in the finals.

In defeat, Jennie is gracious. Derek says that Jennie is amazing. Clips are shown of their time together.

The finale will feature Marie & Jonathan, Mel & Maksim, and Julianne & Helio, but unfortunately, it won’t include me. Football returns to the Burgh next Monday, so I’ll be watching athletic men in tight pants on a football field as opposed to athletic man in tight pants on a dance floor; however, I will return on Tuesday as a winner is announced. Join Yoko and me then to find out who dances away with the disco ball trophy. To me, it’s been worth all the filler we’ve gone through.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim’s chest. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.

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