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Dancing with the Stars 5, November 27: This Is Itby Jill Jones -- 11/28/2007
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Make no mistake where you are.
This is it.
You’re going no further.
This is it.
Until it’s over and done
– Kenny Loggins
Did I just quote Kenny Loggins? That must mean one thing – it is time to crown a new Dancing with the Stars champion! Yoko and I are giddy with excitement, so let’s get started!
I’d like to thank Sandy & Ally for recapping last night’s show for me. I suggest you read their wonderful analysis of the performances instead of listening to Tom & Samantha go on about it.
Samantha talks to the couples backstage and reminds them that someone is going to be eliminated soon. But first, she wants to know what everyone is going to miss once the show ends. People try to speak, but Samantha cuts them off.
Tom goes over the current standings:
Next, he introduces Celine Dion. She sings “My Heart Will Go On.” If there is a woman with better skin than Celine, I have yet to meet her. Oh, back to the show. Some of the professionals dance and it is nice to see them back on the dance floor. The performance is great all around.
Tom and Samantha get to the good stuff… the third place couple. It is Marie & Jonathan. Everyone gives them hugs and kisses. The producers treat us to clips from their journey. Marie & Jonathan perform the tango, which is their favorite dance of the season.
Our hosts now review highlights and lowlights of the season. This leads into a performance from Josie & Alec. I’m sure Josie is enjoying herself more tonight while doing the foxtrot because there’s no pressure. The couple does a nice job.
Because the show is two hours long, we’re now treated to clips of the final three couples. The highlights include Marie cracking up, Maksim burping, and Helio turning into Julianne’s prince charming.
Anna & Albert are back to perform the cha cha cha. I still feel this couple was eliminated way too early in the competition. After the dance, Tom basically says the same thing.
Drew and Apolo are in the audience. Hey, guys!
More clips are shown. I’ll only mention them again if anything new and riveting is revealed.
Cheryl & Wayne are introduced, but they don’t dance. Wayne tells us his doctor recommends that he not dance or perform his Las Vegas show for another two weeks.
Helio’s & Mel’s friends and family speak of their greatness. Helio’s sister is proud of him. Maksim is quite fond of Mel.
Karina & Floyd are back, but they don’t dance. Floyd plugs his upcoming fight and explains he can’t dance due to his training. Samantha cuts him off. Karina says nothing.
The next performance is the foxtrot from Kym & Mark. Mark still sings along to the music and I wait for him to buy the Pittsburgh Pirates.
We’re reminded of Sabrina & Mark’s early departure. They return to perform their dance from the first week of the competition. At the end of the dance, Mark kisses Sabrina on her forehead. It’s wonderful they are dating.
Samantha talks to Drew and Apolo. She cuts Apolo off while he’s speaking. People, for the love of…, if you can’t give others enough time to answer a question, then don’t ask it.
Up now are Jane & Tony with their Viennese waltz. Oh, wait. My DVR just reminded me that A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila is coming on. I’ll just have to record it.
Edyta & Cameron perform the paso doble for us. Samantha says that Cameron promised to take off his shirt if he made it to the finals and technically, he’s in the finals. Unfortunately, his shirt stays on tonight… until he takes his seat in the audience. He chooses that moment to rip off his shirt. Mark Cuban gives Cameron his jacket.
Drew plugs Dance Wars while sitting at the judges’ table. Not to be undone, he and Bruno begin to lose their clothing.
The next couple to dance is Jennie & Derek; they do the mambo. Jennie looks relaxed.
Celine returns to sing “Taking Chances” while clips from the season’s performances are shown. The best part is when Celine sings the line, “Like lovers do,” and the clip is of Mark burying his face in Sabrina’s cleavage. Ha!
The judges now review Mel’s and Helio’s strengths. Mel is noted for her ability to pick up on routines easily. She is also referred to as a chameleon. Helio is called charming and cute. He gets props for coming back after receiving harsh critiques.
At 10:27 PM, Tom introduces Mel & Maksim and Julianne & Helio, and he does so as if they are going to box rather than dance. Mel looks like she is in pain. Don’t worry, Mel, we all feel that way.
Mel & Maksim are up first with their final dance. They decide they are doing the mambo. Mel wants to win the competition for all of their fans.
The routine is once again fun and sexy. I love it because it shows Maksim’s cute personality and Mel’s ability to shake her rump.
Len calls the mambo incredible. Bruno agrees and says it was magnificent. Carrie Ann pretends to give the dance a bad critique, but she’s just kidding; she loved it.
The judges all give the dance a goober for a super duper triple goober, which translates into a 30 for this dance for Mel & Maksim. They have 85 out of 90 points; this doesn’t take the viewers’ votes into consideration though.
Julianne & Helio are now ready for their last dance. They select the quickstep. Helio doesn’t want to add any lifts to the routine though.
Helio begins with a huge smile on his face. Would you expect anything else from him? The routine ends with Helio planting a big kiss on Julianne. The crowd goes crazy.
Bruno says the engine was in full power. Carrie Ann calls the dance her favorite. Len talks about the risks that Helio takes when he races and when he goes on the dance floor.
Each of the judges gives the dance a goober for an awesome terrific triple goober. Julianne & Helio have an overall total of 84 points.
Tom talks to some of the celebrities. Josie plugs her makeup line while Mark speaks about how amazed his friends were over his time on the show. Jane hopes that future celebrities on the show don’t experience the drama she had. Tom teases Jennie about the tumble she took early on in the season.
The celebrities and their partners talk about working with one another. Mel was excited when she found out she would be working with Maksim. She also considers him to be family. Julianne says she knew she would have fun with Helio. Helio didn’t think he would be able to dance at first.
After 10 weeks, it is finally time to learn who has won Dancing with the Stars. The champion of season five is… Julianne & Helio! They are ecstatic. Tom gives them the disco ball trophy.
Samantha talks to a very disappointed Mel & Maksim. They have a great attitude in defeat. And did I mention that Maksim looks hot?
With that, the season ends. Thank you for joining Yoko and me this season. It’s been a true joy recapping the show for you. It’s getting late though, so let’s all lay our heads down and let thoughts of Marie’s charm, Helio’s smile, and Mel’s hot dance partner fill our dreams until next season.
Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim’s chest. She can be reached at email@example.com to discuss these and other topics.
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