Survivor: China, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Episodes 11 & 12 – Simpletons
by Wesley Rice
As we approach the finale, Wes takes a look back at the previous two episodes. Did he find any good in the way endgame strategy is working out? And of all Courtney’s behaviors, what stood out as particularly ugly?
We’re almost to the end, and much like David and his Amazing Race articles, I’m having some trouble finding the Good to talk about. Actually, I’m having trouble finding anything to talk about. But between two episodes, I’ve managed to scrounge together two of each category for you, the hungry reader. Not to be confused with a hungry Survivor, of course (you’d never eat balut, would you?):
Courtney’s British dad. What a shame he couldn’t pass on his brilliant accent to his daughter. What I wouldn’t have given to hear a young British girl say, “I cahn’t stahnd that Jean-Robert. He’s such a wankuh.” Ah well. At least we got the classic line from her dad: “I’m English. I don’t do shorts.” Too bad they didn’t win. I would have liked to see more of him throughout the show.
The Great Wall of China. Another glorious cultural reward and classic landmark on par with the Shaolin temple. The Survivors of this season have gotten some awesome rewards, and it also makes the rewards from many of the previous seasons look downright silly. Just think of Survivor: Africa. If they had done these kind of rewards during that season, we might have seen some Survivors traveling to the Great Pyramid or the Sphinx. Instead we had a gay man and a homophobe getting to watch a movie together. A little awkward, rather than a little awesome…
Denise, the strategic simpleton! It gets so frustrating sometimes to watch some of these players simply fail to use logic. I don’t know. Perhaps it’s different to be out there and starving and not see all the editing. Nevertheless, I don’t get how she could be so BLIND to the endgame. Of course you don’t want Peih-Gee to win. But one meal is going to change that? Really? More so than ticking off an eventual jury member TWICE? Tsk… tsk… Denise. You should know better than to think that Peih-Gee needed a tasty meal to get her energy. Did you see the way she downed that balut?
Amanda and Denise not getting rid of Todd when they had the chance. Once again, people aren’t thinking about the endgame (or if they are, their thinking is flawed). Sure, you want to keep disliked players around for the finals, but only if keeping that player around isn’t going to get you booted yourself. Todd is dangerous to keep around for that very reason. Additionally, Todd is the kind of player who would respect the strategy of a person who ousted him. That’s a free vote right there. Ultimately, though, I blame Denise for this more than Amanda. Amanda seemed ready to let Todd go, but I think Denise refused to go for it. If that is indeed the case, it would make sense for Amanda not to stick her neck out in that instance.
The others’ behavior (especially Courtney’s) talking about Todd’s sister’s miscarriage. Okay, I understand that people might be skeptical about it after the whole Jonny Fairplay thing. And who knows? It might have been a ruse. It did come across as a bit contrived there. Nevertheless, until you know for sure, Courtney, you just don’t joke about something like that. “Oh look, Courtney, you dropped some tact on the floor… Oh no, don’t pick it up. I’ll get it. It’s obvious you have no clue what to do with it, so I’ll just take it off your hands…”
Amanda’s perpetually blurred butt. Hey… don’t get me wrong. I’m sure she has a lovely rump, but what are her swimsuit bottoms doing that they have to constantly blur her rear end every single time she turns around? There are just some things you should not leave to the imagination. At the very least, I’d like to hear her explain it. “Well Jeff, my bottoms just keep ridin’ up my tuchus. Can’t seem to keep ‘em down.” It’d be no worse than the time Colby got a rash on All-Stars and was walking all around like John Wayne.
If ugly is a bad thing, than this one didn’t turn out so great. And if it’s not bad, then we seem to have a tie on our hands. Nevertheless, there wasn’t much to talk about regardless. Let’s hope the finale can pull us out of the doldrums.
If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these other recent Survivor: China articles here on RealityNewsOnline:
Wesley is an English teacher and writer from Wichita, KS. He tried not to use the same word for derričre more than once in that last point. He can be reached with questions, comments, or snide remarks at Musnud@gmail.com.