Biggest Loser 5: Couples, Episode 5 – Uncoupled

The trainers pass out new black and blue jerseys. Brittany sees the blue jerseys passed out to others as “a total slap in the face.” A series of cameo reactions follow. It’s noted by Jenn that five of Bob’s six are men. Kelly notes that her squad includes the shorter, injured ones. Paul sees themselves as underdogs, but Bernie thinks they have a lot of heart.

As a point of reference, if you look at the chart that appears near the top of this article, the first three teams now comprise Bob’s Blue Team, while the bottom three form Jillian’s Black Team.

Bob chose wisely. He has four of the top six weight losers (by percentage), plus most of the taller and more powerful ones, which should be an advantage in challenges. He also avoided the four with the lowest loss percentages. Like a corkscrew, the Black Team is SO screwed!

Talking to the camera, Jillian says she’s going to get her “Avenger” hat. I don’t rightly recollect that Emma Peel wore a signature hat... Jillian also spouts a lot of clichés indicating how she’s more determined than ever to produce a winner. I think her only chance is for the team to water-load every second week and hope to win the other half of the weigh-ins… not that I approve of such a strategy!

While they are still reeling, Alison drops the bomb that there’s another challenge to be held right away. Trainers don’t participate this time. This form of the challenge is the exact repeat of the escalator challenge of season 3, episode 4 (won by Pam of the Blue Team).

Players must walk up a down escalator without falling below a point at the bottom. When all members of a team do so, the other side wins. The challenge winner gets $10,000 to split up evenly. My first question is, why not $12,000, which divides so much better between six people?

Leading their respective teams at the top end of the escalators is Mark and Brittany. At the other end… well, both Paul and Trent immediately get off the escalator, soon followed by both Kelly and Jenn of the new Black Team. Only a bit over three minutes has passed and the Blue Team is outnumbered five to three. However, Jackie and then Roger are next out, so it’s tied up at the eight-minute mark at three members apiece. Brittany is looking real strong, but Maggie goes out next, and at the twelve-and-a-half-minute mark, so does Bernie.

This leaves Brittany battling Mark, Dan, and Jay, and it’s starting to look like this could go on forever. However, despite Jay falling back somewhat, it’s Brittany who is the next one who runs out of gas. Although she battles hard and hangs in there for twenty-four minutes, Brittany is profusely upset that she has to bail out. Jillian thinks it’s because she is determined to show Bob that he made a mistake in his team choices. There’s much cross-team congratulation when it’s over, including Bob cheering up Brittany. Nice touch.

Regrettably, I think seeing the stout-hearted, smaller team losing a challenge to the big boys is a pattern we are destined to see repeated a lot over the next few weeks.

The next day, while awaiting Bob, the new Blue Team notes that none of them have ever been below the yellow line before. They know they have the upper hand and vow to stay strong. Bob comes along to give them a pep talk and points out that there is strength in numbers, hinting strongly that they should vote together. He then leads them to… yoga? Bob is especially impressed how well big Trent does. Bob tells him, “Trent, this weight does not belong to you!”

Meanwhile, Jillian is trying to rally her dejected troops while they metaphorically lick their emotional wounds. She decides that a boxing workout might be a good idea. I like how she teaches them to snap the punch crisply.

The teams are assembled the next day for a temptation challenge. It will involve soda pop. Alison decides to show the teams how much sugar they all drank in a year. Tons! Overflowing a large bin, it appears to be a pile almost as big as my stove. A graphic tells us that soda pop is the number one source of sugar in the American diet, with 40 grams per can.

The challenge involves drinking soda to find the single cup among 240 that has a star on the bottom. The rest just remind them how many calories they just took on. If you find the lucky cup, you can name one person from the other team who’s weight loss will not count this week. The teams are given time to talk it over. One in 240? It’s a sucker bet!

Alison says, “Go!” and no one moves a muscle. To coax them to give it a try, Alison tells them that the 50 orange cups do not have the star. No sale. Alison adds that the purple sodas don’t have the star either, leaving 110 cups. Some people seem to be weakening, but most plans depend on the other side making the first move.

When it’s all over, no one has been tempted. Recapping a challenge where nothing happens… now THAT’S a challenge!

Time advances to the point of the last chance workout. Jillian has the Black Team working hard, and after one bike sprint, all of them are completely inert as they lay across the equipment. Jillian opines that it was a great way to end the first hour, and I can’t help myself, I laugh at the poor lifeless wretches.

Meanwhile, Bob is taking his team through two-minute circuit training. It’s some tough stuff they’re doing, and no one’s holding back.

Later that night is the weigh-in. The traditional single-person scale of yore dominates the set. Alison asks Brittany about the upcoming weigh-in, and AGAIN we get the teary sob story about how sad she is not to have been picked by Bob. Bob sighs. Me to.

The following chart shows the results, in the order they mounted the big display device. I’ve retained a lesser indication of the original team colors, for now.