Celebrity Apprentice, Episode 5: I Smell A Rat… Or, Is It A Mole?

Vinny is now sure that there is no one in the game who will trust him (he’s right). However, he’s starting to quote Goodfellas and use Mafia parallels about killing rats that just aren’t going to happen. Perhaps no one will talk to him, but even with Omarosa in the game I’m fairly confident his kneecaps are safe.

When Vinny returns to the war rooms, he is welcomed back into Hydra’s room by Piers with open arms. An upset Vinny goes into a “you don’t rat on a rat” shtick, but Piers points out that this isn’t the real world and he’s not on his way to Kuwait, chopped up in a suitcase. Trace is pacing about rather uncomfortably, but Baldwin thinks this is all too hilarious.

In a cameo, Piers says he subscribes to the Donald Trump school of business, which says that if your opponent has one good limb left, you take it out. He says he’s like James Bond, he is chivalrous off the clock, but deadly during business.

Alas, even the wackiest moments must come to an end. That evening, we see the Empresario product delivered to their war room, and it looks great. It’s like a green six-foot Croc shoe! The Carol Alt cut-out looks inviting as well. Nely knows that they have done well in their materials, but they need to practice their presentation.

The Hydra product is pretty nice too. The supporting materials for both teams (signs, pamphlets, etc) impress me as well.

As they assemble and arrange their displays, Piers asks Vinny why he doesn’t help. This seemingly-innocent question sets Vinny off all over again. Piers calls Vinny “the hypocrite of the year.” Vinny responds, “Did you really think I was going to spy on those girls for a Brit?” Nice. I’m now officially hoping Vinny goes home.

In a cameo, Lennox expresses his disappointment in Vinny. He sees Vinny as letting the whole team down.

Piers says that he feels better knowing Vinny designed the Empresario concept. Ha! As he storms out, Vinny shouts to Piers, “I’m not talking to you, you arrogant Brit!” in his most derisive tone. If not Piers, I wonder who he was talking to? Does he know Lennox was born in London, England and is also a celebrated British citizen?

Cast out, Vinny bumps into Trump while waiting for an elevator and explains that he’s an outcast. Trump tells him to hold off on the details until the Boardroom.

It’s time for the teams to make their presentations. Empresario is first, and they do a great job. All four speak part of the message, though Carol has the lead. Some of their stuff makes no sense in a real world environment. For example, who is standing besides hundreds of these things across the country, handing out tee shirts? In fact, have you EVER gotten a tee shirt for tossing used clothing into a drop box – I haven’t!

Hydra presents next, with Piers doing the talking. The booth is good, but it’s a standard square box and Trump doesn’t seem impressed by it. Overall, the sponsors are impressed for a second time, though.

Trump talks with the sponsors. They liked Empresario’s big shoe and think it’s friendlier for kids. They prefer Hydra’s slogan and think their box featuring Lennox wasn’t bad either. Asked for drawbacks, they opine that Hydra was lighter in the area of supporting materials, while the Empresario booth would be harder and more expensive to make. They say they have a winner, but we don’t hear who that is yet.

Finally, the teams assemble in the Boardrooms. Both Omarosa and Piers have snarky comments for Vinny. Trump prompts Vinny for the story he wanted to say before, and although it takes a while for the story to come out, it does. The key point finally comes out that Vinny was acting when the women first took him in.

Piers points out to Omarosa that his plan was not espionage, but to sabotage Empresario by sending a lesser talent to their team. This is the second time he’s corrected her misuse of English words to make his points… you think she’ll be picking her battles a little more carefully in the future?

Somehow, Vinny decides now to play the race and Godfather cards. Pathetic.

The women insist that they did not spy, and Vinny will not back Piers up. I believe Trace may have unwittingly led them astray on that one, and Vinny may have seen Nely doing something completely innocent, like returning from the washroom.

Piers reiterates that he was sure Vinny could not contribute to a Hydra victory, and the team was stronger with him at Empresario. He adds that he and Vinny have had a breakdown on a personal level.

Ivanka asks Trace’s opinion. He says he didn’t like the idea of the mole, but admits he didn’t speak up. Baldwin tries to imply he didn’t agree, but Nely reminds him that he came into their room to gloat over knowing their plans. Yahtzee!

Baldwin tries to retreat to a moral plateau, but as they go to commercial, Don Junior asks the $64,000 question of Baldwin – pointing out that probably one of Vinny and Piers has to go, Don Junior asks Baldwin to chose which one he wants to continue with in the game.

Baldwin knows he is on the spot and for the first time in the whole series, words are not glibly flowing off his tongue. However, he soon sides with Vinny. So does Trace. Those are game play answers, not truthful ones. Lennox chooses to support Piers, though. Baldwin asks Trump to see if the women could find it in their hearts to take Vinny back. Trump is having none of that and the proposal dies on the table.

Trump tries to put words in Vinny’s mouth about why he wanted the women to win. He suggests that he hated Piers and wanted to get rid of him. Vinny dodges that one, saying he felt the women needed to win.

Finally, Trump decides to announce the winner. He says the sponsors thought the men were fantastic, but Lennox is being over-utilized. Conversely, they loved Empresario’s design, especially the shoe-shaped collection box. Finally, Empresario wins! Their relief at finally winning is both obvious and audible.

Now, for the windfalls. Crocs will donate 10,000 pairs of new shoes to people in Africa. Carol wins $20,000 for her charity, and she is so overcome by emotion, she can hardly mention it. It’s The Tony Alt Memorial Foundation, which benefits children.

Vinny tries to get the women to admit he helped them “a little” in their campaign, but they will not throw him even that bone. Vinny says he no longer feels the environment is healthy for him and he wishes to resign from the show. Trump chases the women out of the Boardroom and they return to their suite to celebrate. As they leave, Omarosa whispers to Vinny, “You don’t have to quit!”

Discussion ensues about Vinny’s attempt to quit. Trump asks him that if he were to fire Piers, would Vinny stay? The answer is yes. Back in their suite, the women are sure Piers is going to get fired.

All the Trumps try to convince Vinny that he quit too readily. However, Trump also says that in business as in golf, there are no “take-overs,” and one doesn’t normally “un-resign.”

Vinny asks Trump what he should do, and showing he’s desperate for guidance, The Donald looks to Baldwin for advice. Baldwin uses many words to say that for him, it’s integrity over winning. Baldwin asks Trump if he’d do anything in business to win, even if it hurts someone else. “No comment,” replies Trump. Heh.

Trump asks Lennox about quitters, and the response in that Lennox doesn’t like quitters. Vinny interrupts to reiterate his desire to resign. He says it’s not quitting… but it is. Trump accepts his resignation. I believe he was about to fire him anyway.

As the men leave the room, Piers comes up to and puts his arm around Vinny. “Hey,” says Piers, “Business, not personal.” “I know,” replies Vinny, and they walk out together.

The show ends, not with a cab ride, but with a black screen and the abruptly terminated strains of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” Just like in the final episode of The Sopranos… Cool.

Next week: Omarosa and Piers argue and she pours a drink over his head. And now Baldwin wants to quit! What, I have to reap two-hour episodes PLUS induct someone into the Hall Of Shame every week? Sheesh!

In my opinion, Vinny started all the trouble when he took it upon himself to try and join Empresario. Piers is in no way innocent, but it spiraled out of control after Vinny asked to join Empresario. Piers is his PM on a TV show, not his Godfather, and Vinny needed to say no before things got so out of control. I say the right one went home.

I’m also not too convinced that the information Vinny came up with had value anyway!

Phew, that was some special episode! Next week looks hot too. Readers are invited let me know what you think about it all at the eAddress below. And next week, join me here for a recap of all the action, sprinkled with my own reactions and opinions.

Brian lives in Toronto. He spent a couple of decades working in middle management at The Prudential, primarily hiding behind the coffee machines in generally unsuccessful attempts to avoid his pointy-haired bosses. He can be reached at uncle_bto@rogers.com. He’d like to hear your opinions and promises to respond to all serious email.

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