Dance War, Episode 5: A Little Bit Country

Last week on Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann, something, uh, happened. Oh, that’s right. Viewers voted Carrie Ann’s team as its favorite and Bruno sent Charity home.

My beautiful, intelligent readers were correct with their predictions for last week’s outcome. This week is going to be more difficult, though; some people feel that once again, Team Carrie Ann came out on top while others think Team Bruno will be given the win in order to keep the competition close. Let’s see what happens.

Drew and a group of lovely ladies welcome us to the show. He tells us that it’s country night. Yee haw! The performers entertain us with “Loud.” Kelsey kicks her leg over her head and into another time zone. Bradley is a good-looking cowboy. In the middle of it all is a pool table. The performance is fun and entertaining. I wonder what the rest of the show will be like.

Bruno and Carrie Ann come out on stage and pretend to be angry at one another. Carrie Ann looks hot tonight. I love her dress.

Bruno says his team has regrouped and is ready to perform. He also says country is at the core of his team. Carrie Ann explains her routines go in two different directions.

By the way, it’s Zack’s birthday. Happy birthday, big guy. Also, did you hear that Zack is the former fiancé of Julianne Hough of Dancing with the Stars? If you didn’t know it before, you know it now.

At practice, Carrie Ann brings in a mechanical bull. Everyone gives it a shot; it looks like fun. Carrie Ann turns serious and reviews the previous weeks’ performances. Elizabeth mentions being upset about a minor mistake she made.

Team Carrie Ann is now ready for its first performance. They perform to “Devil Went Down to Georgia.” The guys perform the speaking parts of the song; they actually harmonize. The women brand the guys at the end of the routine with a CA. The routine is interesting and creative. I like it.

Carrie Ann says Chris couldn’t get his microphone back into his holster. Well, most people aren’t used to putting a microphone in a holster, so I’ll cut him some slack. She also wants Mariel to make her moves bigger since she is so tiny.

Bruno tells Chris he looks like he was chasing the choreography. Chris takes responsibility for messing up. In my opinion, this seals Chris’ fate on the show. If Simon Cowell has taught us one thing, it’s that most people will favor the person being picked on. It doesn’t matter, though - Chris is a great performer, and so he should do well without Bruno’s “help.”

Bruno’s team shares a group hug at practice. Everyone has fun, which is exactly what is needed. Bruno brings out gigantic foam cowboy hats. Nothing says “good time” like large foam objects.

Team Bruno performs to “Life is a Highway.” The routine begins with people flipping and jumping. Phillip is the first to sing. Let’s just say it’s painful. The dancing is also bad. Most of it involves the team members doing their own thing; it feels so disconnected.

Bruno feels that Phillip has grown. Uh, OK. He also wants more danger from Zack. Carrie Ann comments on how well the group looks. She thinks Phillip sounds hoarse (not horse, even though it is country night).

Drew introduces Matt Grant, the new bachelor on ABC. He’s easy on the eyes, but I’m a bit bored. Drew plugs The Bachelor before welcoming Taylor Swift. She performs “Our Song.” It’s nice. I especially like the woman who rocks out the violin.

Oh, no. Taylor and Drew talk, and she refers to “Life is a Highway” as being a Rascal Flatts song. Yes, Rascal Flatts covered the song, but let’s not forget that the man who is ultimately responsible for it is Tom Cochrane.

Back at practice, Carrie Ann scolds the team for not focusing. The team promises to work hard. She also gives everyone lessons in ballet. Holy cow, there’s love brewing between Qis and Mariel! Carrie Ann doesn’t want them to alienate the rest of the team. Qis interviews that he and Mariel are only great friends. Oh, kids, keep it together and then let the love flow at the appropriate time!

Team Carrie Ann is up next with their second performance set to “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” The opening is a bit weak, but after that, the team turns it on. The woman sound great.

Carrie Ann notes that Elizabeth made a mistake with her dancing. Bruno says there wasn’t enough dancing. He also tells her the competition isn’t a fashion show. Meow.

Through the magic of editing, we’re whisked back to practice. Lacey wonders if America has ever seen a black cowboy. Of course we have; his name is Emmitt Smith. Everyone has fun at practice; it’s like a giant hoedown.

The team now performs to “These Boots Were Made for Walking.” Kelsey opens the routine doing her very best Daisy Duke imitation. It sets the tone for the rest of the routine, which is sultry and sexy. It’s a great performance until it turns funky.

Bruno tells his team that the routine was hot. Carrie Ann accuses Bruno of stealing one of her ideas from the previous week. She then says she liked the performance until, as I put it, it turned funky.

Clips from group practice are shown. The team members get along, but during practice, they try to intimidate one another. Yawn.

Finally, Drew reveals this week’s results based on last week’s performances. Yeah, that makes sense. The winning team is Team Carrie Ann. It sucks to be on Team Bruno right now. Drew sends Team Carrie Ann backstage.

Bruno begins the selection process. He wants to keep Kelsey, Phillip (huh?), and Lacey. Tony and Zack have a sing-off to “If Tomorrow Never Comes.” I think both guys do a great job. Kelsey doesn’t hear a note that is sung; she’s crying as if someone has died.

Bruno says it is ridiculous to have to decide between Tony and Zack; however, he feels that Zack is the stronger of the two. With that, Tony is eliminated from the competition. [Associate Editor’s note: At least Zack didn’t get eliminated on his birthday.] Before Tony leaves, he thanks Bruno for his guidance and refers to the others as superstars. Bruno calls Tony an American.

Once again, I feel Team Carrie Ann has come out on top. What do you think? Be sure to write to me at the address below to let me know your thoughts and feelings. You can even tell me if foam is as big of a pleasure for you as it is for me.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. If she were in a room with the three of them, she might explode. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these individuals and other topics.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. If she were in a room with the three of them, she might explode. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these individuals and other topics.

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