Big Brother 9, February 13: The Newly-Matched Game

Previously on Big Brother: Strike Edition, 16 singles entered the house, where they were immediately paired up with a “soulmate,” with whom they would play the game with for the season, or at least until it’s decided that the gimmick no longer works. Ex-couple Jacob & Sharon found themselves together again, while present couple Jen and Ryan had to split up for Parker and Allison respectively. Sheila found no evidence of compatibility with Adam, who showed little evidence of tact. Jen & Parker won the first competition, which gave them the power to evict one couple within just a few hours.

Following the Power Couple competition, Parker compares himself and Jen to Brad & Angelina. What else do you expect from a paparazzo? Jen is glad to win, because this means Ryan is also safe, as is their secret. Five minutes in, and the Foreshadowing Fairy is already stabbing my thigh. Parker believes it’s best to get Adam & Sheila away from each other. Sharon believes her friendship with Parker will keep her and Jacob around for some time, while Adam fears his feud with Sheila will send them home quickly. Stop stabbing me, Fairy!

Adam talks with Sheila, Matt, and Natalie about his job working with special needs children. He hopes to open a hair salon for them “so the retards can get it together and get their hair done.” So much for working with special needs children. I’m autistic myself, and I’m irritated when people use the r-word to describe people derogatorily. If it’s not as severe as the n-word or the other f-word, it’s very close. Plus, Adam’s occupation should mean that he knows the implications of saying the word. I wouldn’t be surprised if people describe Adam using the very same word he said.

Sheila is visibly upset with Adam’s use of that word as well, and tells him so. Adam says he can say what he want because he works with special needs children. Yeah, right. Sheila has friends with special needs children, so Adam’s vocabulary wrenched her heart badly.

The houseguests reenter the house, where Sheila shares her disgust with Adam, especially over the r-word, with the other women. She doesn’t want to be stuck in a sleeping bag with Adam anymore. As Sheila talks about a great guy with Down Syndrome, Adam comes in to raid the fridge. Sheila calls Adam “unbelievable.”

Sheila pulls Adam aside to discuss the situation. Adam continues to defend his use of “retard” because the children are “retarded.” He doesn’t see how calling them “retards” is bad, and he claims Sheila is the one in the wrong for calling them “them.” In the diary room, he yells about “busting his ass” for the children and how Sheila is “clueless.” Oh, this guy is definitely fired. And if he’s not, his organization is in trouble.

As Ryan & Allison get closer, Ryan feels the pain of separation from his actual girlfriend Jen. Allison, however, feels a strong connection with Ryan. Jen finds it hard to distance herself from Ryan for game play purposes. Still, Ryan and Jen sneak some time together, wondering how their relationships with their game partners will affect their romantic relationship. To help with the separation, they also sneak a kiss. Aww, I guess.

Jen and Ryan can’t express much love for each other, but Alex has no problem expressing his affection towards partner Amanda. As Amanda shows off her boxing skills, Alex feels like kissing Julie for pairing the two up. He loves her body, her looks, her personality, and especially her butt. Amanda thinks Alex is cute, and she’s open to the idea of him as a real soulmate.

Outside at the pool table, Jacob want to try out his villainous side and “turn the chicken up.” That’s what I heard, folks. He says to Ryan, James, and Adam that he doesn’t trust Parker at all because he’s “just in it for the money.” Um, duh? Then Jacob says “Parker is a snake.” Ryan goes along with it to keep his relationship with Jen safe.

Speaking of Jen, she comes out to join the guys. Jacob talks to Jen about how he’s been hearing that Parker is “a snake” and “heartless.” It’s one thing to badmouth someone’s alliance-mate, but to tell the partner of your target, whose tenure in the game is linked to his, and who also solely holds the power to send your butt home, is just monumentally stupid. With this, Jen now feels a target on her back. Ryan says Jacob made a “bonehead move.”

Faking a contact lens difficulty, Jen heads inside and finds Joshuah, to whom she explains the situation. Parker walks in a little later, and as soon as he hears the word, the furor can be felt from miles away. Parker joins the guys at the pool table, and coolly uses discussion about the cold as a segue into Jacob’s snake rumor. Jacob refuses to give up who said it, mostly because no one did. Other than Jacob, that is.

Parker wakes up everyone and assembles them in the living room. He implores the guilty party to confess about calling him a snake. Almost everyone is confused, especially Sharon. Parker calls out Jacob for spreading the news to his partner, and now the pressure is on Jacob to call out who said it. Jacob refuses to give names because he doesn’t want to be responsible for someone’s ouster, namely his own.

Joshuah thinks Jacob is looking like a liar, as does Alex (I believe). Jen wonders if Jacob even cares about Sharon and what his refusal to give a name might mean for her. Jacob claims he did the right thing. This is my first episode of Big Brother this season, and my brain has already exploded. Adam is much happier, since Jacob’s idiocy may have just kept Adam in the game for one more week.

Following the public outing of Jacob as a moron, Jen says Parker did the right thing. She wants to talk to Sharon about it, and maybe see if she’ll blame everything on him. Jacob joins Sharon in bed, who’s still upset that Jacob created this stir without telling her. Jacob says it all just happened, and he hopes it doesn’t backfire.

Sharon tries to carry on with the “snake sayer” hoax by talking to Parker that she promised not to give a name, but if Parker thinks about it, he’ll figure it out. Parker starts guessing, and as soon as he reaches “Ryan,” Sharon hints that it is him. The same Ryan who’s secretly dating Jen. The Foreshadowing Fairy is making Swiss cheese out of my thigh. Parker thinks he and Ryan are cool, but Sharon tries to dash that.

Parker discusses this latest turn of events with Jen, who we’re reminded again is Ryan’s actual boyfriend. With Parker targeting Ryan & Allison, Jen is left with one option: let the cat out of the bag. As expected, Parker is floored by the revelation. He promises not to spill the beans to anyone else. Jen doesn’t want to send Ryan home, but she has no problem with using Ryan & Allison as a pawn to help her win the game. Parker wonders if they have a shot at winning, while Jen thinks they have it in the bag.