Celebrity Apprentice, Episode 8: It Slices, It Dices… But Wait, There’s More!

Last week, Trump put Piers and Omarosa on the same team, and it was UGLY! Though Piers definitely showed his dark side, Omarosa distinguished herself with a performance that earned her yet another induction into the Reality TV Hall Of Shame. Team Hydra won again, primarily due to Piers’ Rolodex.

In a Boardroom first, Trump saw fit to break one of his rules and not fire anyone from Empresario. However, he held sacred another rule, that winners are safe from the fatal cab ride, choosing not fire Piers or Omarosa either. At the end of the episode, Trump had Marilu and Omarosa change teams.

For your reference, here are the new team rosters:

Hydra

• Lennox Lewis, retired boxing champion
• Carol Alt, the first supermodel
• Marilu Henner, Taxi / Broadway actress and lifestyle author
• Piers Morgan, British tabloid journalist and talent judge

Empresario

• Tito Ortiz, ultimate fighter
• Omarosa, delusional former Apprentice player and permanent Hall of Shame resident
• Trace Adkins, country singer
• Stephen Baldwin, famous brother

Action begins back in the suite with Hydra again awaiting Empresario’s return from the Boardroom. Omarosa is sure Trump swapped her to Team Empresario because “he really, really likes me.” Ahh, no, that’s not it. When they find out Marilu is joining Hydra in Omarosa’s stead, Piers says, “That’s like replacing The Devil with Nelson Mandela.”

In the next scene we see Piers informing the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund of the $65,000 check he has for them. The charity helps the families of soldiers who have fallen in battle. As expected, they are very appreciative of the donation.

Trump meets with the teams on the tarmac of a helipad. Ivanka and Donald Junior are with him. The Donald vows that this time out, someone will be fired.

Trump informs the teams that the challenge is to write, direct, and produce a ten-minute segment on QVC to sell a product of their choosing. Should they select the same product, they must negotiate a resolution themselves. The winner gets $20,000 for their charity.

After short discussion, it’s decided that the PMs will be Steven Baldwin on Empresario and the newly arrived Marilu Henner on Hydra. Trump tries to stir the Piers-Omarosa pot, but Piers doesn’t bite. The scene ends with the two teams taking helicopter trips to QVC’s headquarters in Pennsylvania.

Piers thinks they should once again use Lennox as pitchman. That’s a surprisingly bad suggestion, since Trump slapped them down for using him as the front man a second time already.

Lennox is apparently hung over and sleep deprived (and looks it). Lennox says Piers has diarrhea of the mouth. Sorry, dude, it’s obvious you’re damaged… you are here in body only. Lennox says that this time out, he would prefer to direct. And that’s what happens.

A rule of the challenge emerges that we didn’t previously know. There is a choice of only six products they can pitch. The six products are:

• a magnifying mirror
• a tool kit
• a bamboo storage drawer
• a frying pan
• an electric floor sweeper
• a convertible stepladder

We’re only accorded a cursory look, but the first three items look like sure task losers.

Trace likes the LadderCart, the ladder that can change into a hand cart. Over at Hydra, so does Marilu. The teams meet to announce their choices, which are the same. Negotiations are brief, as they agree to a coin toss to resolve the deadlock. Baldwin is sure God worries about such things and figures they can’t lose.

They lose.

Empresario opts for the floor sweeper instead. Baldwin rallies his team saying, “Out of the problem, into the solution,” which might be his only good business-oriented sound bite all season. Their first impression is that it’s easy to show off a sweeper, because people understand it right away.

Another rule of the challenge emerges that we didn’t previously know. There can be two people on screen, and QVC will supply one host per team, if requested.

Over at Hydra, Carol Alt says her first thought was for both her and Marilu to go on camera, but then figured they would be talking over each other. Piers agrees, as we next see a cameo from Carol in which she explains that both she and Marilu have presented on QVC before. She adds, “I worked with them for five years, and I know QVC.” In her own cameo, Marilu reveals that she has sold several of her books on QVC.

It’s quickly decided that Marilu will be the one to do the presentation. With Piers contributing a lot of the lines, Marilu rehearses. She pushes it left, she pushes it right. Up the stairs – look, one hand! She smiles. Marilu loves her LadderCart. Why, Marilu actually says, “I really love it!” Like I would make up that Marilu Henner has a raging passion for hardware? This is SO going to make her Christmas presents extra interesting this year!

On Empresario, Trace will do the on-screen presentation. They decide that their second person on screen will be a QVC host named Lisa, from Tennessee. Lisa and Trace make a cute couple.