Big Brother 9, February 24 Live Feeds: The Hurley Awards

Welcome to the 1st Annual “Hurley” Awards, presented by the Academy of Big Brother Arts and Sciences. Basically, I’ll be rolling out the red carpet (if only there were a redhead in the house so I could make a raunchy joke), and handing out prizes to all the Big Brother 9 houseguests who truly make me want to vomit (and who better to represent that than Elizabeth?). We’ll get to the ceremony in a few minutes, but first, our nominees (in other words, what actually happened today).

For once, Sheila is not the first to rise. Instead, Josh barely beats her. He does some grooming and later, as Sheila begins her morning routine, he suggests that he should shave his hair today. As he so eloquently puts it, he thinks his hair makes him look “like a child molester,” or Debbie from Dallas. This would not be the last moment that would make me think of porn.

The rest of the house rises, and the razors get busier. Alex now needs to shave his chest. I certainly hope he saw that episode of Seinfeld before he decided to start doing that.

As the houseguests continue waking up, it is mentioned that a Ricky Martin song was used as the wake-up call this morning. Sheila says she requested Madonna be used, and the conversation turns to musical preferences in general. Sharon & Josh agree that they love Celine Dion (see, they were soul mates after all), and Chelsia, punky rad girl that she is, admits to loving Lindsay Lohan as a singer. There is also some consensus that the Eagles and Dixie Chicks are great in concert. I think Adam should be worried if Sheila enjoys a group whose biggest hit was a song about killing their husband.

In the back yard, Ryan and James enjoy some fine, rolled tobacco that all kids should try because it makes them cool. Afterward, James heads back inside and joins Chelsia in the Head of Household (HOH) bedroom to discuss upcoming events. James tells Chelsia that Ryan overheard Adam and Matt talking, and that the two are tight. This quasi-alliance leads them to believe that Adam & Sheila need to win HOH next week or they’ll be on the block.

Today’s the day where all the female houseguests have to wear bikinis, per the results of Wednesday’s HOH competition. I could have sworn Julie said “bathing suits,” which would allow for one pieces, but we all know good TV is directly proportionate to the amount of cleavage and belly we see, so it became bikinis all around.

The ladies compare swimsuits, and Allison reveals that she paid about $200 for her bikini. Sharon says she should be shot. I say that Allison is obviously misunderstood, is a wonderful, caring, beautiful person, and can you please be my Sugar Mama? If you can afford $200 for a bikini (so we’re basically talking $50 a string), you can provide for my lazy behind for the rest of my days. I promise not to name our daughter Jen.

The Veto meeting is set for later in the morning, but Josh decides to perform a preemptive strike by telling Amanda that the vote currently stands as unanimous that she and Alex will stay.

After each of the nominees take a trip into the diary room to give their final thoughts beforehand, the house is gathered for the Veto meeting, hosted by yesterday’s winners, Josh and Sharon. Long story short (as apparently Josh had some prepared remarks), the Veto is not used. Either Matt & Natalie or Alex & Amanda are going out of the house on Wednesday night.

With the last major scheduled event before the eviction out of the way, the activities turn once again to hair care. James has decided that his pink mohawk has to go. In its place? A bright orange mohawk! Chelsia joins the Hair Club for Houseguests by having Natalie give her highlights.

Josh gets the wheels of drama spinning again by confronting Sheila about the upcoming vote. Despite telling Amanda that it was unanimous, he now tells Sheila that he hears it’s 1-1 right now, and that he and Sharon are the swing vote. He accuses Sheila of lying to his face and basically attempts to intimidate her into agreeing with the current plan to oust Matt & Natalie.

Out by the hot tub, Sharon, Amanda, and Josh discuss strategy in regard to Adam & Sheila, as they have become potential targets for next week. Josh, in another moment of sheer class, says that they aren’t a physical or a mental threat to win HOH next week. He suggests that Sheila is mentally deficient, like her son (and we got on Adam’s case? Yeesh). [Editor’s Note: Josh himself also just earned himself a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment for other comments he made, along with Chelsia.]

Allison and Sheila have a heart to heart about addiction. Allison is a recovering compulsive gambler, and she realizes that it will be a part of her for the rest of her life. She says she wants to write a book about personal addiction, and Sheila encourages this – one because it’s a serious subject that women rarely write about, and two because of all people Sheila can relate, as she freely admits she’s only on the show to promote herself and her book.

Amanda enters with some fresh bowls of slop and joins the conversation. Allison alters the topic to only discuss addiction in general, as she is not comfortable enough with Amanda, or her big mouth, to divulge her personal problems.

As the final rounds of campaigning begin, Natalie approaches Sharon. She points out that Amanda is getting cocky again, and is intentionally playing nice so that the house will keep her. She promises Sharon that if she and Matt are able to stay and win HOH, that Josh & Sharon will not be nominated.

Back in the sauna room, Natalie has joined the other three ladies, and the conversations keep their chipper tone. Starting with more tales of Amanda’s father and bouts with suicide before the deed was done, the topics range from the desire to be appreciated, being pre-judged, and the importance of staying positive. Next, they will discuss varying definitions of the word, “irony.”