Biggest Loser 5: Couples, Episode 11 – Two Really Horrible Ideas in Reality TV

Last time: The players went to the hospital to learn how previous medical conditions have greatly improved due to their loss of weight. Later, the Blue Team won a zip-line challenge. Then, just before the weigh-in, teams were disbanded and the game entered the “individual” phase. Finally, at the weigh-in, Bernie and Kelly fell below the yellow line and popular Bernie was sent home.

Following is a list of the players still remaining.

• Dan, last funnyman standing
• Roger, former ‘Bama footballer
• Jay, recently abandoned by his dominating brother
• Maggie, staying below the radar even better than Sandra T
• Brittany, now more alone than ever
• Kelly, still the crier

Action begins with series host Alison Sweeney assembling all the players in the gym. She starts talking about the eliminated players and how hard they’ve been working out of the game. This can’t be good news. Sure enough, a curtain opens and all 14 eliminated players are revealed. Some are reentering the game.

Alison references this occurrence as, “the first time in Biggest Loser history,” but it’s not true. The Aussies did it in Season 1, and despite near universal revulsion from the fans, inexplicably reprised the concept in Season 2. By my barometers, folks weren’t any happier!

We are treated to a series of quotes about how excited the players are to be back. Well, except for Paul, who says, “I don’t know why I’m here.” Ha! At least they weren’t all at a secret location, being trained by Kim. And none of them are wearing a “Die Jerks” headband, a.k.a. Skinny Ryan from the Outcast Tribe of Survivor: Pearl Islands (whose picture adorns this article).

Dan interviews how mad he is at having to beat all these people again. Kelly’s pissed, too. I think they have valid points

Alison explains that the man and woman with the biggest loss percentages from day one will renter the game.

But first, Alison asks Jackie if she sees anything different in her son, Dan. She peers at him. No, nothing… because he’s holding his tattooed arm behind him. He pops it out and her jaw almost hits the deck. She freaks! Jackie says to Roger and Jay, “I thought you were going to take care of him!” “We did,” they cry out, showing off their own tattoos. Ha! Dan still gets a hug from his mom, so I guess he’s forgiven. I’m guessing it may take Jackie a few minutes to digest this one, though.

Alison asks Mark about seeing his brother still in the game. The response is teary and he repeats things I’ve typed too often over the last two weeks, so let’s move on.

It’s rainbow time! The following charts show the results of this weigh in. I listed the players in the order they were called to the scale, which is also the order of their elimination.

So, Alison and Mark are returning to the game. Congratulations also to Curtis and Trent on their century weight-losses!

Before weighing in, Paul shows us he still pines for Kelly. He is one heartsick puppy, still! I feel sorry for his new girlfriend, who is hopefully doing a serious reevaluation of the situation right about now.

The returning player who lost the most weight (that’s Mark) gets to choose their trainer. Mark chooses Bob, naturally, so Ali is assigned to be with Jillian.

Speaking of the trainers, they are unaware of what has occurred. But that’s about to change. Trainer Bob comes into the boys’ room and thinking they are just starting another week, begins to inspire his team. Mark sneaks up and tackle-hugs him. Completely taken by surprise, Bob is pleased to see Mark back. He says, “You never know what to expect when you walk into the Bigger Loser house!”

In their own room, Jillian enters to finds Bernie missing and three pretty glum ladies. She consoles Brittany over the loss of her partner and can tell they’ve all been crying. Jillian tells them they can either go into victim mode, waiting to be picked off, or fight to achieve their own goals.

Suddenly, a grinning Ali walks in, and Jillian runs to hug her. Jillian asks her why she’s wearing pink. We don’t hear the reply, but she explains to us that she chose to wear pink to honor her mother, and because she is not part of any team. She senses that Jillian wants her to wear black. The odd look on Jillian’s face confirms this.