America’s Next Top Model 10, Episode 4: Silence of the Lambs

Last week was the always exciting makeover show. Allison was the main target of Fatima’s tirades. And Allison’s attitude and poor performance on a boat shoot were enough to have Tyra cut her adrift. Who will go this week?

Also last week, I was curled up in front of a fire with snow falling in the yard. This week, it’s back to shorts, 75 degrees, and the windows open while I watch ANTM for you. In fact the crickets are so loud, I may just have to close the windows so I don’t miss any of the juicy dirt these girls will give me! Don’t you just love the springtime temperatures and model mood swings?

We start out the night with early confessionals from Dominique, who is overconfident despite her bottom two performance, and from Lauren who is underconfident despite her being called first by the panel. Irony and contrast noted.

Amis is clowning around in the house while Fatima sits on the sideline pouting that whatever Amis does is annoying and she doesn’t think she’s taking it seriously enough. Fatima is just itching to piss off everyone this season, including her recapper! Really Fatima, get over yourself already! You’re taking this show and yourself too seriously.

While I’m here on my short soapbox about Fatima, I want to formally lodge a complaint about the way Tyra Mail is coming across this season. This time around, it’s not on cute stationary or tucked in fashion magazines, it’s being scrolled across a digital message scroller-thing. Every one of the girls says the words out loud at the same rate as the message is scrolling. I wonder if some of them are just mouthing the words they can’t read. It’s the most annoying thing so far this season.

Thanks for letting me vent. Back to the recap.

The girls vocalize the scrolling Tyra Mail; Claire deduces that they’ll be doing something on a fire truck. Considering the mail hinted at heat and getting hosed, I can’t imagine what else it could be and still be somewhat of a family show, can you?

Boy, nothing gets past Claire, does it? They do end up at a fire station where we see a couple of young stud firemen come down the pole, jump into the truck, and speed away with sirens blaring. Closely on their heels, Ms. J. Alexander shimmies down the pole as well, just in time to teach them this week’s runway lesson!

The girls have just 90 seconds to strip down and get into the costumes they’ll be modeling in the fire house. The “boots” are short, granny boots that are made to look sort of like the rubber boots firemen use. Cute! Speaking of shoes, Ms. J has the girls line up for inspection and quickly he sees that Fatima still has on the heels she came in with. He calls her out and she giggles that she like the shoes she’s wearing. He’s having none of that and is not happy already. This can’t be good.

Oh but wait, Ms. J has more for the girls. They will have to model in front of an audience. Who else would be good for watching runway training other than the very firemen in full gear who work in that house. Mmmmm… I like firemen! This could be fun for everyone!

Katarzyna is up first. She does a decent job, but to me she seems to bounce too much. Ms. J cautions her to watch out that she shimmies at the end of pose. Claire looks bald under her miniature fire helmet, but otherwise struts well. Several other girls, including my now-favorite Whitney, perform their walks well. And then there’s Dominique.

When I started the preview article, I really liked Dominique and hoped she’d go far. But that was before she opened her mouth. Every time this girl opens her mouth, something arrogant or stupid just seems to fly out. She works her walk and seems to be doing well, but then she starts bragging that she thinks she has the best walk. Right behind that, Whitney comments, “I’ve seen drag queens that walk better than Dominique.” Snort! And that’s why I love Whitney!

Oh but that’s not all! As Dominique returns down the “runway,” she lingers at the end, facing the firemen, and poses provocatively. Ms. J completely makes a farce out of telling her she might as well be a stripper. The bowm-bowm music plays behind him and the firemen are laughing nervously. I’m cracking up. He’s such a delight.

A few more girls go before we get to Fatima, the other girl who is just too much to handle. She looks like she’s marching, despite Ms. J telling her not to do just that. He’s not happy with her at all tonight. She’s obviously not listening to him.

Lauren is up next and she’s stiff, almost as if she were a Barbie doll trying to walk. One shoulder is up around her ears. This isn’t her first poor showing on a runway, if you can remember back to the first full episode. She’s not graceful, so she’ll have to practice her walk if she is going to make it far. Her pictures won’t carry her alone. Ms. J seems to think that she does have some potential, though.