Celebrity Apprentice, the Finale: Good Versus Evil – A Winner Is Crowned

The fourth lot is a night with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne. If the bid is over $50,000, Ozzy promises his band will play a concert anywhere in the country. The same CEO nails that one for another $100,000.

Trace is trying to stay resolute and not get too discouraged. He knew he was in danger of getting thrashed pretty soundly in this aspect of the challenge, and from what we see, it’s happening.

Lot five is original Taxi memorabilia, but they start skipping items quickly and we don’t hear any more winning bids. Also in there is the original Phantom Of The Opera mask, time on QVC, and a day with the BSB. The latter is probably plummeting in real value with every passing minute.

The last item is the shopping trip with Ivanka Trump, and bidding gets quickly up to $20,000. Piers then walks up to the center of the hall – he has Simon Cowell on the phone, and ready to bid. They joke about being unloved Brits in America, and how they don’t like each other. Bidding now escalates quickly, between the on-site guy and Simon. Finally, Simon gets the prize for $100,000!

Trace finds the call “distasteful.” Hardly… that’s how these things work in the big leagues. If someone donates six figures, they usually like a little public recognition in return.

Trace meets with the BSB’s manager. He never got the wheat grass juice, but he did find the nail polish and the knee brace. It must have been enough, because the group performs. Trace says it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders.

Piers tells us they’re all tired but he’s proud of the way both teams performed. Trace tells us that when the six of them stood together at the end of the concert, there was a mutual appreciation for the event they’d put together.

We are told of another way to support the finalists’ charities. You can text the message TRUMP to 30101. Cost per text is $1.00, plus the usual service provider charges, and you will receive a thank-you message from Donald Trump for your generosity. Trump further announces that CEO Howard Lutnick promises to match all these donations, up to a total of $250,000.

Trump next introduces Erin and Jim, the MSNBC folks who aided him last week in the interviews. Trump then segues to what turns out to be the first of several segments of footage from a Boardroom held after the task completed.

Trump asks Lennox which player is better. Lennox says Trace is more laid back and he allows you to do your work, and Piers is more in-your-face. Sleepy Boy likes Trace’s approach better. Piers says Lennox is his friend for life, and that Lennox is a great guy and one of the few who understands his sense of humor. Lennox echoes these sentiments.

Trump asks Piers about picking Baldwin. Ivanka calls the pick “risky” and a “surprise.”

MSNBC’s Jim says the BSBs seemed difficult to work with. Trace is too polite to agree. Trump asks why they were so difficult and about the things they wanted. Trace mentions they had brand choices for snacks and other things. Trace repeats his fears that the band would not go on stage, and thought those were the signals they were sending him.

Ivanka asks Piers what he’d have done. Piers says he’d have told them where to get off, because for 20 million viewers, they’re going to show up and perform. Trump says Piers might have gotten away with it. Trace says he could have beaten up the whole band by himself.

Don Junior has the auction results. Piers sold items for $376,000, and $64,000 for Trace.

Ivanka has the ticket sales numbers, and Trace won, $38,000 to $12,000. Carol makes the point that Piers gave away half his tickets so veterans could be at the event.

Piers tries to make the argument that his combined total is much greater than Trace’s, but Don Junior shoots him down, says there were multiple criteria to the challenge, and both won one of the first two.

Piers says he didn’t just beat the other side, he pulverized them. Trace says it hurts his people more to bid $5,000 than for a billionaire to bid $100,000 and Piers is making that seem less relevant. Piers says, “I don’t follow that argument,” and Trace quickly retorts, “I knew you wouldn’t.” A clearly confused Piers insists that he did not insult Trace’s donors.

I see it that Trace is the one who made the snotty remark this time. Piers takes offense and asks for an apology. Trump jumps in and says that if Piers didn’t say it, “Whether he said it or not, absolutely he thought about it, because that’s the way he is.”

That is, of course, insane. Even for a man who hates to be bothered with facts like Trump, that’s insane.

Carol defends Piers first, then Piers takes offense and tries to debate that insult. Trump talks over him and suddenly, the topic shifts to the food. Yes, because $250,000 is going to be won or lost on cheese puffs. Trump knows he was wrong, and he got called on it.

Trump asks about the food, and Piers reiterates it was his strategy. Baldwin says he doesn’t like the approach of using alcohol to loosen up bidders, and Piers attacks Baldwin’s constantly taking the moral high ground. The Trumps defends Steven repeatedly, but Piers asks why he has to sit there and take it. Piers reminds Trump that he (Piers) is a Christian too.

Trump now decides to comment next on how much Piers sweats. Idiot.

Ivanka says Piers raised a lot of money and the only argument against him was how he deals with people. She wonders if he should hold his thoughts sometimes. Piers tries to ask Trump a question, but Trump decides to talk over him, saying “good versus evil,” which he morphs into “the good, the bad, and the ugly,” then he wants to know, “who’s ugly?” and then how the women love Lennox. Why is any of that relevant?

Piers asks Trump to clarify if this was a contest to be the nicest guy or the biggest charity fundraiser? Trump knows the real answer and wants to avoid saying it, so he has Trace answer. Trace says he wanted to represent his charity without bringing dishonor to anyone.

Prompted by Trump, Trace says his opinion is that Piers has behaved “in a questionable manner.” Piers reminds him that he’s raising money for wounded soldiers, and if the price to pay is that Steven Baldwin is upset how Piers talks to him, it’s a price he’s willing to pay.

Piers asks Trump, “Is it a business game, or a popularity game?” Trump says that if it was a popularity game, he’d be long gone.

Finally, taped segments are done and the rest of show is going to be live. Trump brings Trace and Piers on stage. Right off, Trump asks Trace if he likes Piers. Trace says, “Nah, I don’t like him much.” He remembers that the business-savvy MSNBC duo thought Piers should be fired. Piers says, “Trace is a great guy. And I’m an evil, obnoxious, disgusting Brit!”