Here Come the Newlyweds, Episode 5: Every Marriage Comes with In-Laws

We begin the fifth episode with host Pat greeting the final three couples and congratulating them for getting so far. He reminds them that the final prize is already $420,000. Pat announces that he has a surprise and then tells the husbands to say hello to their mothers! The door opens and the mothers come in to greet their sons and daughters-in-law.

Pat takes the couples out to the yard for the next challenge. The men are seated on one side of the yard and the wives and mothers are seated on the other side facing the men. Pat tells the women that the men have already graded themselves on a scale of A-F on different parts of their lives. The wives and their mothers-in-law need to work together to match the husbands’ answers. For each match, $5000 will be added to the final prize.

Pat starts with Johnnie Moutra. He asks how Johnnie would rate himself with the ladies before he was married. Crystal and Johnnie’s mother debate between an A and B. Their final answer is an A ,which matches Johnnie’s answer.

Pat gives the same question to the Freises. Cody interviews that this is the most Dawn and his mother have ever talked. That is pretty scary. I can’t imagine not knowing my mother-in-law at all. It makes for a pretty strange family dynamic. Dawn even looks more uncomfortable than she normally does. The women both say that Cody would give himself an A, and he does.

Next up are the Holmeses. Heather and Lance’s mom are getting along great. They appear to have a really good relationship and are laughing and joking together. They also say an A and match with Lance’s answer.

Pat asks the Freises how Cody would rate himself under pressure. Dawn and Cody’s mom agree on an A since Cody is a pilot. Cody also gave himself an A.

The Holmes are a match with the under pressure question, but the Moutras are not. Crystal and Johnnie’s mom only gave him a B, but he gave himself an A.

The next question is how the men would rate their skills around the house. Lance’s C doesn’t match the B his women give him. Johnnie’s F, however, does match Crystal and his mother’s answer. Like the Holmeses, the Freises have a mis-match.

The next question is about the men’s sense of style. All the couples match with As.

With the matches that the couples made, the final prize is now $465,000!

It is lunchtime and each of the couples and mothers get to have a private lunch. Of course, as soon as they start eating, the couples are joined by surprise guests! The Moutras are joined by Johnnie’s father, the Freises by Dawn’s father and the Holmeses by both of Heather’s parents. Then the Moutras get a second surprise guest in Crystal’s dad. Johnnie has never met Crystal’s dad, which seems odd.

There is even more awkwardness at the Freises’ table. Cody’s mom has never met Dawn’s father and Dawn’s father says the first time he heard of Cody was when Dawn told him that she was engaged. Seriously, I can’t explain how uncomfortable everyone at this table looks. Dawn’s dad asks Cody what his plans for the future are. Isn’t there a more appropriate venue for this conversation that at a lunch on a nationally televised reality show?

The Holmeses table looks like your typical family lunch. Everyone just seems happy to be there.

The couples say goodbye to their family members and we next see them getting ready for bed.

The next day, Pat greets the couples to introduce the next challenge. He tells the men that they will have to work with their fathers-in-law. This should be interesting! I can’t wait to see Cody and his father-in-law interact one-on-one. Awkwardness at its best! You can tell the Holmeses think they have this one in the bag.

Pat tells the men that the next challenge is to race soapbox derby cars. The men have one hour to assemble the cars.

During the challenge, Dawn’s dad starts to interrogate Cody. He wants to know why Dawn is considering becoming a flight attendant. I was under the impression that she already had made that switch, but who knows with this couple.

Johnnie and Crystal’s dad have different methods of working. Johnnie likes to follow the instructions and Crystal’s dad wants to jump right in. Somehow, they manage to put together a working car.

The Holmeses car looks pretty solid.

Pat then dismisses the fathers-in-law and brings the wives back. He tells each couple that they can pick one of four options that may or may not improve their chances in the race. The options are: being able to start the car on a ramp, getting a 40-foot head start, changing the car wheels, or racing their car as is.

The couples will be competing for first choice of each of these options. Pat will ask them a series of questions to determine who gets what option.

The first question is, “who was your husband’s childhood best friend?” Only the Freises get it right , and they choose the 40-foot head start.

The next question is, “where was your first kiss?” The Moutras get it right and the Holmeses don’t, so the Moutras pick next and choose the ramp start. The Holmeses then take the new wheels.

The husbands are the ones racing, which confuses me. What exactly are the wives doing this challenge? Why can’t they be the ones in the cars? I’m really getting annoyed with the very obvious gender bias in these challenges. The wives should have either built or driven the cars. It is demeaning to have them reduced to mere cheerleaders in this challenge.

Pat shoots the starting gun and the teams are off. Johnnie Matura’s extra weight seems to be helping him a lot, although Cody is trying to cut him off or drive him off the course. Lance starts by drafting behind the other two cars and then he pulls around them and ends up way ahead. Lance wins by a huge margin.

Pat tells the Holmeses that they are safe in the next vote and they will be the only ones choosing the other couple to join them in the final two. Unlike the previous shows, Pat does not offer the Holmeses any money to give up their safety.

The Moutras and the Freises use the down time before the vote to plead their cases to the Holmeses. Johnnie tries to use the fact that the Freises have only known each other for nine months against them. Cody tries to say the Holmeses probably won’t be hanging out with the Moutras in the future.

Pat takes the Holmes aside to find out whom they are going to choose to compete with them in the final two. Of course, we don’t hear whom they choose just yet.

Back on the deck, Pat asks the Moutras and the Freises to step forward. Pat starts to reveal the “vote” and Lance interrupts him and asks if he and Heather could reveal the decision. Pat, of course, says yes, and Lance and Heather address the two couples. They think both teams have been great competition. Lance tells the couples that they have chosen the Moutras to join them in the final two. I am so happy that I don’t have to recap another show with the Freises. Now they can go home and actually meet each other’s families.

Next week is the season finale of Here Come the Newlyweds. It looks like we’ll get a visit from all of the voted off couples. So much for not having to recap a show with the Freises!

Jennifer Tsao lives in Manhattan with her husband. By day she has a typical desk job and at night she obsesses over reality TV. You can reach her at realityjenn@gmail.com.

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