Biggest Loser 5: Couples, the Finale – My Kingdom For A Pound!

Last time: Other stuff happened, but the only one that matters is that the final elimination vote was taken out of the hands of the players and left to “America” to decide via an Internet vote.

Right off the top of the show, series hostess Alison welcomes us to the finale and tells us it’s been almost six months (in real time) since the ten couples first came to the ranch. She adds that the third finalist will be revealed shortly.

Unfortunately, voiceover guy takes over. Supported by a big graphic and a week’s advertising on CBS, he promises the third finalist will be announced in the first five minutes. He then derails that by launching into a video recap of all four finalists’ time on the show. It includes the clip where Jillian earnestly tells the camera, “I have waited five years to see a woman win this thing!” I’m bored with all this old news, so instead I updated my list of players still remaining in the game:

• Ali: in the lead and the one to beat
• Kelly: finally gaining confidence
• Roger: should win if he makes the final three
• Mark: however it plays out, it could get tearful

The recap extends past the five-minute mark and then we go to commercials, so this doesn’t bode well for whoever’s planned this out. Eventually, Alison resumes control and gets the boys on stage, albeit one at a time. Both Roger and Mark look thinner than ever. When asked how they feel abort America’s vote, both comment that they will be fine with the decision. Mark comments that if it weren’t for twists, he wouldn’t even be in the game at this point, so he’s in no position to complain.

Alison reveals that millions voted, and the voting margin is less than 100,000 votes. And at 8:11, we learn that it’s Roger who will stay in the game! Huh? I might have to revise my comments above; Ali’s chances just took a hit.

I can only surmise that America decided to reward Roger’s record weight loss over Mark’s personal evolution. It’s interesting to note that had the ladies been permitted to cast the final vote, this is NOT the way the game would have progressed.

Mark takes the news well, reminding us he’s already benefited from an earlier twist. Alison tells Mark that he is eligible for the consolation prize, and segues to introducing the runner-up teams. First up are those players eliminated as couples. Brown Team wife Mallory has the best makeover, but even though she never had the body mass to win, I am most impressed by the radical changes to White Team wife Alison.

Every time a contestant first comes on stage tonight (including those we’ve already seen), they have to fight their way through a bigger-than-life picture of themselves from day one that’s covering the entrance. The paper seems a lot thicker this year, and I bet Bob arranged it so he could tell who hasn’t keep keeping up with their strength work!

Next out are the rest of the eliminated players. They are brought out as teams, rather than the order they were eliminated. Mom Jackie and strangers Bernie and Brittany look great, but footballer Trent seems to be the biggest winner in this group.

Alison tells us that Paul cannot be here, he’s too ill to make the trip from Florida. He’d been doing pretty well, down 70 pounds at the “comeback” weigh-in, so that’s too bad.

Alison next directs questions to some random members of the group. First is Mark, who she calls, “You big crybaby!” Everyone laughs; then he gives his now-standard answer about the game providing emotional growth for him, especially during his brief time away from the ranch when he realized he had been too focused on game play and was squandering a great opportunity.

Alison next asks Bernie if it was about the money for him. Initially, yes, but the real reason he signed up was to change his life. Bette-Sue is asked if she’s more nervous than her daughter. The answer is confusing, but I think she is saying they are both plenty nervous.

Curtis is prompted to retell the tale that he needs to get down to 238 pounds for insurance reasons. But we’ll have to wait to see how that came out.

We next see a series of clips from the four remaining players about how nervous they were to be leaving the comfort zone of the ranch and going home. Roger likened it to a little bird leaving the nest.

The next scenes are of the players arriving home to many hugs and tears. Ali tells us, “Fear will never stop me again,” and predicts that this year, pink will be the color of the biggest loser. Her mom Bette-Sue tells us, “I’m SO proud of her. It was worth all the humiliation I had to go through!”

In Florida, Kelly is overwhelmed by the support of her friends and family. She feels she has a chance to be the first at something, to be the first female Biggest Loser. Over in Texas, Roger is greeted by a restaurant full of proud, cheering friends, and shares a football analogy with us I’m not going to bother typing out.