Dancing with the Stars 6, Grand Finale: And the Winner Is…

Dear diary,

Tonight, another season of Dancing with the Stars comes to an end. While I’m happy to have a break from Samantha’s horrible interviewing skills, I’m also sad that one of my favorite seasons of the show is ending. In just two short, filler-filled hours, we’ll know who the new champion is. It’s a momentous event and one I’d like to record and reflect on fondly.

9:00 PM

Tom and Samantha open the show by recapping last night’s program. Of course, I already did this, so I momentarily tune out.

9:05 PM

Samantha talks to the remaining couples backstage. Kristi mentions the friendships she has made; Cristián notes the journey he’s been on; Jason promises to keep on dancing… for the right price.

9:06 PM

Tom reviews the current standings:

9:07 PM

Usher sings “In this Club.” In true Usher-fashion, he works his magic and has even the most uptight of people in the audience tapping their toes.

9:13 PM

Celebrities from the past five seasons tell us what they think of the remaining three stars. Vivica A. Fox says Jason knows how to shake that thing. Wayne Newton says that Cheryl & Cristián can win the entire competition. Leeza Gibbons is impressed with Kristi’s consistency.

9:15 PM

Tom and Samantha reveal the two couples dancing this evening for their final scores from the judges. It is Edyta & Jason and Kristi & Mark. That means Cheryl & Cristián have been eliminated.

Cheryl, in her dominatrix get-up, and Cristián look sad to be finished dancing at this point and it’s understandable. Cristián thanks Cheryl for working with him. He also says in an interview that he’ll be Cheryl’s friend forever. Back at the live show, Cheryl begins to cry.

9:20 PM

Cheryl & Cristián, who have been eliminated at this point, dance their paso doble routine again. My boyfriend Tony says they should have danced before learning their fate; he’s not into it at this point. Yoko yawns.

9:26 PM

The producers show us clips of all of the stars throughout the season. Next, all of the previously eliminated couples dance.

Really? I’m trying not to become angry, diary, but this is testing me. And it only reminds me of how much I like Penn.

Here are the highlights:

• Penn falls while walking up the steps… again.
• Monica looks more relaxed tonight than when she was on the show.
• The Gute is still positive.

9:40 PM

Clips of weeks three and four are shown. What happened to performance?

9:41 PM

Oh, they’re back. Here are some more highlights.

• Adam claims the terrorists hate us because of the diversity of people competing for the disco ball trophy.

9:49 PM

That didn’t last long. It’s now time to look back on the junior ballroom dancers and determine a winner.

Samantha quickly tells us that the junior champions are Brittany & Brandon. Awww, they’re great, but I will always have a special place in my heart for Cara & Jaryd.

Several members of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders give a smaller version of the disco ball trophy to the champions. Brandon is thrilled since he said on the show he’d love to dance with the cheerleaders. Tom says Brandon grew up a bit. Thank goodness it was up and not out.

9:52 PM

We see more clips of the season.

9:53 PM

Priscilla and My Louis dance. They’re told they will be interviewed later.

Run! Run before Samantha can get a hold of you!

9:55 PM

Jason and Cristián talk about their bromance. Thanks for that term, Will and Boogie.

9:56 PM

Marlee & Fabian perform. I’m still blown away be her abilities. I also hope that Fabian returns to the show next season. He’s a doll.

10:03 PM

Shannon & Derek return to the dance floor. Like Monica, Shannon appears to be more at ease.

Samantha asks Shannon about her relationship with Derek. Shannon ignores her and thanks the judges for something.

10:06 PM

More clips from the season are shown.

10:09 PM

Karina & Mario dance. I miss Mario. I also told reader Margy that I think he would have done a wonderful job with the freestyle dance. I think he could handle almost anything Karina choreographed for him.

10:11 PM

Samantha bothers Drew Lachey, Kelly Monaco, and Helio Castroneves. Helio plugs his upcoming race. Drew rips on the trophy. Ha!