Nashville Star 6 Finale: The End Is Here

Howdy, y’all! Welcome to the final episode of NBC’s first season of Nashville Star. Maybe it will also be the last, as this take has been monstrously weak compared to the past. And I have the e-mails to prove it.

As is traditional with finales in which the winner has already been determined, we must trudge through guest performance after encore after boring chit-chat before we get our champion. Woo hoo.

For the last time, co-host Katie Cook, who should have just kicked Billy Ray to the curb, introduces the judges. One by one, the judges then introduce the finalist each mentored. First is king of the jerks John Rich and his pupil, Melissa Lawson. Next is the only decent judge Jeffrey Steele and Shawn Mayer, who ditched John to get help from Jeffrey. Finally, Paula Abdul’s Alaskan cousin Jewel welcomes back Gabe Garcia.

As for the host with the least himself, he’s the first (and only) guest performer of the evening. Singing “Achy Breaky Heart,” it’s Billy Ray Cyrus! Each finalist sings a bit with Billy, while gratuitous hot women in their Daisy Duke best gyrate behind Billy and Gabe’s part. The other nine contestants and groups back-up for the last few choruses, just to remind us that they still exist.

Gabe Garcia is the first finalist to give a performance that doesn’t matter. He sings a song I don’t know (I’m guessing it’s called “Celebrity”), and he’s as good of a vocalist as usual, though his performance skills still need work. Jewel is proud of her protégé.

Melissa Lawson continues with Rascal Flatts’ “My Wish.” I’m not feeling the usual Melissa spark, so it’s a good thing this performance doesn’t count. John says Melissa got more beautiful with every week. He asks how it would feel for her to win and have America download her music. Melissa can’t describe that feeling.

Finally, my fellow Iowan Shawn Mayer dives into another unfamiliar song (“Gunpowder and Lead”?). Meh. Jeffrey didn’t think Shawn would be standing up here tonight. Still, he saw her professionalism blossom throughout the competition. Shawn is Jeffrey’s dark horse.

In a flashback video, the mentors bring in their mentors for the final three to meet. First is some dude named Blair Garner or something like that. Jeffrey calls him “the king of syndicated radio.” Good to know. Next is George Jones, and if you don’t know who he is, you don’t know country music. Jewel says whoever wins will have their single on country radio, and it will change their lives. Uh huh. Just ask the last four winners.

Now, we have some real business. Third place is about to be announced. The contestant with the fewest votes from last week and out of the running now is... Shawn Mayer. Typed that before it was announced. Shawn wouldn’t have done anything differently. Also, she reasons that Miranda Lambert also got third place. So did four others, hon, and I can’t even remember their names. After the obligatory funeral video, mentor Jeffrey reminds Shawn that this show is just a stepping stone, and is confident in Shawn’s songwriting skills.

Now, the final two must churn out a cheesy final duet. Of course, it has to be a country-fried version of “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.” And it’s not just country-fried, but it’s smothered in awful fake nacho cheese sauce, and there’s not enough jalapenos in Texas to make it taste good. Blech!

Melissa Lawson gets a journey video, then she sings again. This time, it’s a song I assume is called “Gotta Be Something More.” It’s a big improvement over her earlier performance. Jewel loves Melissa’s round tone, as always. Jeffrey loves Melissa and wishes her luck. John says Melissa’s gift can’t be practiced or taught.

Now it’s time for Gabe Garcia’s journey video and final performance. The song is “Gone Country,” which is not to be confused with John Rich’s CMT show that could’ve been good if it weren’t for a little something called John Rich. Jeffrey says Gabe is already country, as he has one of the best voices. John believes Gabe did his heritage proud. Jewel asks Gabe not to forget that his work is just beginning.

Billy Ray asks the judges who they believe will win. Jewel is first, and she can’t decide. Since Jeffrey says she can’t vote for her own, Jewel has to say Melissa. John also dodges the question, saying both contestants have their own stories by being a mother of five and a Hispanic. He calls the race “a photo finish.” Jeffrey is still holding out for Pearl Heart. Robbed contestants aside, Jeffrey supports Gabe, probably just to even it out.

For the last two weeks, the finalists have been recording their winner’s singles with John Rich. We see some snippets of it. John says he has recorded some of the best voices in country music (and Julio Iglesias, Jr.), and he believes Gabe and Melissa are two of those best voices. Jeffrey and Jewel’s comments have all been said before.

In one last interview with the true host of the show, Katie Cook, Gabe says he’s ready to represent the Hispanic community in country music. Melissa wants to open doors for her family’s futures.

The uselessness is over. It’s finally time. The winner of a Warner Bros. recording contract, an AEG live concert tour, a performance at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, a 2009 Toyota Tundra, and the title of Nashville Star is... *overly dramatic pause*...

MELISSA LAWSON!

In my opinion, this was the right choice. While Gabe does have a good voice, Melissa coupled that with good performance skills. She ends the season with what I assume is the winner’s single, “What If It All Goes Right.” At least it doesn’t involve magic rainbows.

The season is over, and I couldn’t be happier. Compared to the past two seasons that I recapped, no one ever truly excited me. Melissa is a respectable champion, but if Chris Young and Angela Hacker couldn’t make it big, what chance does Melissa have? Maybe being on network television instead of cable will help, but I still have my doubts.

Whatever happens with Melissa, Gabe, and all the rest of the contestants, I wish them all the best of luck. As for Nashville Star, here’s to hoping the doors to the hosting and judging gigs revolve once again. Maybe NBC will get a better clue to how the show should be done, but judging by their other shows, perhaps I should just wish for a return to USA Network. Whatever happens for Season 7, assuming there is one, I’ll see ya then!

Tyler can be reached at tejayes@yahoo.com. What do you like? What do you hate? I mean, besides this dull season.

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