America's Toughest Jobs, Episode 6: Running With the Bulls

Previously on America's Toughest Jobs: The jobsters went drillin' for oil in Texas. Rommel and Rie were pretty slick, while Eric finally ran out of gas.

This time? Bullfighting – which is not a job in the same way that oil drilling or truck driving is a job, but is more of a sport. You know, a sport where you're playing against an opponent that is an animal and has no concept of what a "sport" is. But I'll get off my soapbox now …

We're told that American bullriding is one of the most dangerous spectator sports in the world. Except for high school soccer. The parents can get downright rowdy sometimes. Basically, you protect the bull rider by getting the bull to chase you once the rider bails out or falls off. Make sure the rider gets out safely, then save yourself, because, we're told, the bull's only desire is to inflict bodily harm. Well, duh. I'd want to inflict harm on somebody too if they climbed on my back and wouldn't get off.

This will all go down in San Angelo, Texas. The eight jobsters arrive and meet their new boss. Rob Smets, who is a five-time bullfighting champ and has broken his neck three times. Rie's initial reaction is that she doesn't want to do this. Yeah, if the guy I'm talking to had broken his neck three times doing this, I wouldn't sign up for it either. You can have the reality TV prize, I'm keeping my neck.

Rob says it's like being a bodyguard for the president – you gotta step in and take the bullet. Though you don't always work with a lot of presidential material, he quips, looking back at his crew. Great crossover reference to the presidential debate following this show, NBC.

The jobsters start by learning the basics – that is, having someone chase them around with a wheelbarrow that has horns on it. Then they'll get in the ring with a 1,000-pound training bull (though it looks like a real bull to me). Then they get to take on the real thing in front of a real thing.

A guy named Miles runs over the basics: One, take the bull by the horns – literally. Someone named Shorty tells them to be aggressive with the bulls and not hesitant. Two, you're not gonna outrun the bull, so don't try. Run in circles instead. Use anything you can to get by it, including reaching back and grabbing the horn. Three, don't let fear freeze you up. The best thing that can happen is to get hit and run over – it clears your mind. If you say so.

Steven eludes the evil wheelbarrow of doom pretty well. He tells us he's always wanted to be a bullfighter. I can see wanting to be a bullfighter in the fancy Spanish outfit holding the red cape – that seems somewhat romantic – but otherwise, boy, you so cra-zy!

Rommel does well too, as do Bryce and Sandy. Frankly, she seems like a natural in this environment. Ben, on the other hand, looks somewhat out of place, his dreadlocks somewhat strange coming from underneath a cowboy hat. To prove the stereotype correct, he just stands there and lets the wheelbarrow run right into him. Um, move, Ben. Rie gets knocked down too. She's hurting. Surprise, surprise, Chris ain't too hot at this either. Sandy trash talks him in confessional.

Rie sees the real bull and she's just really scared. When she wakes up the next morning, her knee is hurting and she can't put any weight on her leg, so she goes to see the athletic trainer on site. He thinks she may have dislocated her kneecap. She's tearing up as he tells her this. She can't believe she got taken out by a wheelbarrow. Still, the injury is minor enough that she wouldn't do more damage if she went ahead and performed. It will be up to her whether she competes.

The others are suiting up in armor, hip pads, and Kevlar vests. Apparently, Chris isn't feeling the love for his fellow contestants, who are goofing around and having fun. He mentions again that he's 49, has two kids, and is like "a square in a circle." He may be 49 and a two-time dad, but he acts like one of the most childish people on the show, so the point is moot.

Chris then adds that he's used to being around cops and "tough guys." He's "rather be stuck on an island with 10 gay guys than drive two hours" with Sandy. Now there's an idea for a reality series. Bravo, are you listening? It's Survivor: Fire Island!

Sandy appears to be minding her own business when Chris asks her why she doesn't become a woman rather than a man. I'm no fan of Sandy, but geez … come on, man. She shrugs and takes it in stride. Rommel back slowly away, like he doesn't want to get in the middle of whatever's about to happen. Sandy starts ripping into Chris, about how he's lazy and whiny, and notes that he's always in the bottom four while she's always on top. Frankly, I don't know how he argues with that – she's right.

Sandy says Chris is a "big, fat nothing." Chris says that's not the case to his wife and kids. Sandy says she prays for Chris' wife every day because she "probably don't know what a real man is." This is better than "Yo Momma!" Sandy tells us about how backward Chris is, and Chris tells us that he's tired of Sandy always going after him. Unless the editors cut something out, his initial attack on her was unprovoked, so I don't know what he's talking about.

In a humorous moment, Steven keeps trying to tell us how he's scared of the bull, but it keeps following and interrupting him. It loses something in the retelling, but I promise, it was funny. He's up first with the practice bull and has to be told to get out there. Not very successful. Nor aggressive.

Here goes Sandy – aggression shouldn't be a problem with her. She gets in place, gets the bull chasing her – and down she goes. The bull got her. She crawls off to the side, can't tell if she's hurt or not yet. Nope – she's feelin' good and shooting imaginary pistols like Yosemite Sam. She's actually glad she got knocked down when she did, because a few more steps and she'd have run into the fence.