America's Toughest Jobs, Episode 7: A Bridge Too Far Up

Previously on America's Toughest Jobs: While bullfighting, Rie got hurt and Sandy got hurt worse, but Rie stampeded right on out of the show. Who will be USDA Prime this time, and who will just get trampled? Let's find out.

This time? Bridge maintenance. Host Josh Temple is standing on a bridge like it's a James Bond movie or something telling us all about it. As an acrophobic, I say he's crazy. I have a hard time even driving over bridges, let alone climbing on them.

We get a lesson about bridges, the bridge collapse in Minnesota last year, how hard it is to be on a bridge crew – you get the idea. It's a tough but important job.

We're in San Pedro, California, at the Port of Los Angeles … and the seven remaining jobsters will be painting the Vincent Thomas bridge. Michaela is psyched because she loves heights. Not like the TV band, The Heights, but actual heights. I think.

The boss this week, Dave (clad in a spiffy hardhat), is introduced, the contestants are told they're being judged on effort, teamwork, skill, etc., and are told not to look down – oh yeah, and to listen, ask questions, and not rush into anything. Good advice for any walk of life, really.

Michaela's not the only one who likes heights – Ben says he's had a number of jobs requiring him to be high as well. High up in the sky, I mean. No dreadlocks jokes, I promise. Bryce tells Steven he looks like he's scared. Sure enough, he's not too fond of heights, he tells us. He wasn't exactly thrilled about climbing the ladder on the oil rig either.

Sandy likes the rush, and figures if she pees on herself, she pees on herself. This is like the third or fourth time I've heard someone talk about peeing on themselves on this show. Maybe it should have been called America's Wettest Jobs.

Chris says he's pumped to get up there, but Steven tells us Chris is as scared as he is. I would say he's getting into a you-know-what contest with Sandy again, but I think she just admitted to it.

The bridge is 6,000 feet long and stands about 40 stories above the harbor, we're told. Maybe you can win a bar bet with that information.

First they have to do a little repair work to prepare for the painting. Then they have to walk up the suspension cable and clean the lights up there. Then they'll do some painting to prevent corrosion. And at some point, I will probably faint like a cartoon housewife who's just seen a mouse.

To go to the first job, the jobsters cross the catwalk under the main deck, more than 20 stories up, we’re told. The girls – wow, there's only two of them now – note the vibrations over their heads made by the cars driving by. Steven says being on this huge bridge so high up with a massive boat underneath makes him realize how small he is. "It's amazing what mankind can make," he says. Hey, mankind also gave us New Coke, the two-party political system, and boy bands, so I'm not all that impressed by mankind's accomplishments.

The crew has to haul up their supplies from 200 feet below. Apparently, they have to stand on a little plank and pull it up by hand – they're wearing a hook that keeps them attached to the bridge for safety, mind you, but it still looks horribly dangerous. Chris is really sweating this job, but Steven goes first. Steven doesn't know if he can do this. He might be done, he says, but finds a way to psychologically push past the fear.

I guess Chris isn't so mentally tough (yeah, like I'd be any better), because he doesn't even want to go all the way out on the plank. He's trying to figure out every excuse he can to get out of doing the job this way. No such luck. He inches out a little at a time. He says this job is "not exactly Bada-bing" and adds, "This is something' I'm doin' here." What is he talking about? Has fear rendered him unable to speak in coherent sentences? He tries to step back and pull the bucket up that way, but it doesn't really work. Imagine that. He and the supervisor (a female) bicker (like with the truck driving boss) and then hug (unlike with the truck driving boss).

Sandy's next. She makes a tough job look effortless, according to our narrator. Doesn't she do that every week? Yawn. This seems to inspire everyone else to do well.

Everyone is told not to paint over dirt because it buckles, so they have to get the bridge really clean. Bryce, Ben, and Rommel are shown sweeping. I'm surprised Chris doesn't tell them that's women's work. The bridge is pretty freakin' filthy, by the way. Rommel makes fun of Chris for plastering himself against the wall in terror. Michaela says this just isn't his job. Sandy loves watching Chris squirm. Chris isn't thrilled with being made fun of like this.

We're told that getting to eat lunch while sitting on this bridge and looking out is "a perk." If you say so, narrator. Rommel thinks it's "priceless." I agree. You couldn't pay me enough to do it. Chris would rather have lunch on the ground, not up on this platform. He lies on his back to eat so he doesn't have to look at the water below. I feel ya, man.