America's Toughest Jobs, Episode 8: It's Log, It's Log…

Previously on America's Toughest Jobs: Long-time hanger-on Chris finally bit the dust on a challenge involving cleaning a bridge, while Ben excelled yet again. Who will rise and who will drop this time? Let's find out.

This time? "Timber cutting!" yells host Josh Temple. "Thousands of pounds of logs!" I snicker like Beavis. Actually, I can't help but think of the toy commercial from the late, great Ren & Stimpy Show: "It's log, log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood …" Sigh. I miss that show.

Anyway, Josh tells us all about the many horrible ways people die in the logging business. Falling trees, snapping lines, ripping chainsaws … Hey, maybe Leatherface will make an appearance!

This time we're in Port Angeles, Washington. The narrator tells us all about how important lumber is to us all. Thanks Thom! The only six contestants left meet Josh and get the scoop. Bryce isn't thrilled about logging; he observes that he's out of his element for the eighth time. Heh.

Boss Gabe Rygaard sounds like he might be a character from Norse mythology, but he is, in fact, this week's special guest boss. Josh gives the usual speech about how dangerous the job is, and the characteristics on which the jobsters will be judged. Then he says, "Make it work!" Okay, he doesn't actually say that, but wouldn't that be great for this show too?

Rygaard's assistant bosses demonstrate a controlled tree fall with a 140-foot-tall Douglas fir. You have to cut a "face," or an angle, a third of the way through the tree trunk to control the direction the tree will fall. Then the loffer must make a straight cut from the other side of the tree. Finally, the logger drives in wedges that will tip the tree over. The jobsters just kind of stand there and watch awfully close to where the tree falls. I guess it was safer than it looks on TV, but if it was me, I think I'd back up a little bit more.

Ben notes that it takes 200 years for a tree like that to grow, and only about four minutes to chop it down. He's not about to start hugging the trees, though; he recognizes that without the logging industry, he has virtually none of the resources he needs in his line of work – construction. "If you live in a house and you hate foresters, you're a hypocrite," he says. Heh.

So, what will the jobsters be doing? Climbing trees to set cable, cutting the trees down, choking the logs with cable so that they can be pulled up the hill, and prepping the logs for loading onto trucks.

Rick, an assistant boss, helps Sandy put on spiked spurs so she can climb the tree. Unsurprisingly, Sandy makes good time shimmying up the trunk. Is there anything this chick doesn't do well? Besides practicing good voice volume? It's not as easy as it looks; Sandy tells us it was really hard and her thighs were burning. She says you're all-too-aware of the risk of falling down the tree if you slip.

Ben, Steven, Bryce, and Michaela all go next. Michaela echoes Sandy's sentiments, and says she's using muscles she didn't know she had. "When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll find out where they are," she says. Heh. Other than that, no problems with this bunch.

Rommel, on the other hand, has a hard time even starting up the tree. He needs to only bend one knee instead of two, to stand up straighter, keep his feet apart – the bosses keep barking out orders seemingly every step of the way. Bryce comments to Michaela that he would expect someone who practices martial arts (like Rommel) to have good hand-eye coordination, which Rommel is apparently lacking at the moment.

Finally, the bosses tell Rommel to just stop going up and come back down. Rommel looks really uncomfortable hugging this trunk. Once he gets down, he's just thankful he made it in one piece.

Now, time for sawing down the tree. Ben says it's not too far from things he's done in the past (me too – sawing down trees is the only one of these challenges I've kinda-sorta done before, though mine were a lot smaller and done with a regular old handsaw), and feels comfortable. Sure enough, he takes to it like an old pro. Bryce says Ben made it look easy.

Bryce, on the other hand, has some issues. Once again, his hesitation to stick his neck out shows itself as he's called out for being scared of the saw and not going deep enough into the trunk. That's a good way to get hurt, says an assistant boss named Craig. Bryce sets down the chainsaw and tries an ax, with Craig telling him not to hit the tree "like a girl." Evidently, he's never met Sandy or Michaela. Finally, Bryce lowers the boom, but Gabe is just embarrassed by how long it took Bryce to get the tree down. He calls it a "complete waste of time."

Steven can't hear the boss’s instructions over the buzz of the chainsaw and goes too deep on his first cut. The tree comes crashing down too soon, but luckily, it doesn't hit anyone. Craig says Steven ruined one of the best parts of the tree, near the bottom, as it was a very messy cut.

Michaela and Sandy – imagine this! – do well. So much for doing it "like a girl." Sandy finds it an awesome feeling to send one of these big ol' trees crashing to the earthen floor. I'm a little scared of her right now.

Poor Rommel isn't any better at sawing than he is at climbing, apparently. That's in part, however, due to the shoulder injury he received during the bullfighting challenge – he just can't get any oomph in his arm. It looks like he's bashing the wedge in slow motion compared to the others. Rommel complains of dislocating his shoulder only a week before, but Ben isn't buying it, saying Rommel needs to get some cookies for that milk – because he's milking that shoulder injury for all it's worth. Heh.