America's Toughest Jobs, Episode 9: Sandy's Sense of Snow

Last time on America's Toughest Jobs: Logging proved to be one of the toughest tasks yet. Rommel stumped his opponent in the bottom two challenge, meaning Bryce had to make like a tree and leave. Whose bark will be worse than their bite this time, and … oh, I can't think of any more puns.

This time, we're back to Alaska – like waaayyy out there Alaska, the snow-covered wilderness around Mount McKinley, the highest mountain peak in North America. Over 100 people have died climbing this beast, host Josh Temple tells us. "Up here, everything is trying to kill you," says Josh. Funny, that's how I feel down here when I read about new studies saying everything short of oxygen is bad for us these days. But I digress.

Only five jobsters remain, and they're headed to Denali National Park – sharp-minded viewers will remember that this is where Senta, the first jobster eliminated from the show, is now working after quitting her pre-ATJ occupation. It's cold up here on Mount McKinley; temperatures can drop to minus-100 degrees, and the wind often reaches 100 miles per hour. The key to surviving is having a guide, we're told. So are our contestants going to basically be sherpas this time?

Flying in via a small plane, Ben says the mountain looks like a deathtrap, with jagged rocks everywhere. Rommel is still sore from last week's challenge, in which his shoulder dislocated again. Sandy does a funny impression of an airplane captain. Well, sort of funny.

With no runways around, the plane lands directly on a glacier. John Race is introduced as this week's boss – he kind of looks like the kid behind the counter at a fast food restaurant, particularly with a bright red-and-yellow visor cap perched on his head. Indeed, the task this time is high-altitude guiding. John, despite his youthful looks, has nearly 20 years experience at this, and has summited Mount McKinley 13 times and has been to Mount Everest twice. He wasn't one of the three people who died on this mountain in the two weeks prior to this show's filming, however.

John says the job involves a lot of grunt work – start at 6 a.m. and end at 10 p.m., while doing everything for their clients, from cooking to carrying loads. They have to think of everyone their clients have back home who are counting on this person to make it back alive. However, John reminds the jobsters, bad things are going to happen.

First, the rookies learn the basics. Then they'll perform a crevasse rescue, and finally they'll try to summit an 8,600-foot peak next to Mount McKinley. They'll be working on all this on a glacier at the base of the mountain.

At an altitude of 7,300 feet, an instructor goes over "self-arrest," or stopping a slide down a mountain without some sort of aid, such as a rope. You do need, however, an ice ax. You fall down and stick the ax in the ice, but you have to land just right, or you'll stick the ax in your head. Then the instructor has everybody scream. That's good. Cause an avalanche. Nice.

After two hours of falling down and sticking axes in the ice, the jobsters are then dragged down the hill by a rope to simulate a quick slide. Sandy notes that it's scary to try to save yourself when you can't even see what's happening to you. She – get this – doesn't do too well at this task. Have we found a weakness in Sandy's game?

Now it's time to rope up and hike to the campsite two miles away. It's snowing pretty heavily, after having been sunny earlier. Ben says the weather changes like a teenage girl's emotions – it turns on you suddenly and kicks you in the butt. Heh. It's seven degrees outside now, by the way. There's also less and less oxygen the higher they climb, and they’re lugging heavy equipment on their backs.

Michaela insists she's going to die. Steven thinks he might not make it either, at the pace they're going. Sandy's strength isn't holding up under the 100-pound pack she's carrying. Sandy's struggles mean more breaks for Michaela, which she likes. Sandy says there's a big difference between Texas and this place. Ben just laughs – Sandy says she's not in her element, but none of them have been to a glacier before. Ben notes that he's getting pulled back by one jobster and forward by another, which he describes as "hellish." So it really is snowing in Hell!

The group finally reaches the camp site, but the instructors have to look for sneaky crevasses before they can pitch the tents. It's 1 a.m. by the time they get to the site, but they still have to dig a kitchen and a latrine out in the snow and cook dinner before they can get some sleep. I expect them to rip open a tauntaun to provide warmth for Luke Skywalker any minute now. I'm such a geek.

Ben and Steven are digging up the latrine, complete with a privacy wall. Don't eat the yellow snow, people. A guide named Olivia tells them to make sure never to move the same snow twice.

While setting up the tents, Rommel is having issues tying knots. I guess he's never learned to tie knots before? Indeed, he says he was never in Boy Scouts or anything, so it's all very new to him. Neither was I, but it's hard to get through life without being able to do that, I would think.

Dinner is cramped and unpleasant, and then it's time to call it a night. Sandy is still kvetching in her tent, kind of like Achilles. She just does not do well with cold weather. In fairness, neither would I. Give me dry southwestern heat over a cold northern winter any day of the week.