Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch – Survivor: Gabon Ponderosa Finale Videos

Ken in Ponderosa

Jeff tells us that the 14th person voted out and the sixth jury member is Kenny. Ken walks the Walk of Shame and tells us that you can’t trust anybody in this game. He had hoped to make the final two or three, but at least wanted to make the jury. The experience is worth more than a million dollars to him. Now he is starving and can’t wait to eat.

Ken steps up for the post-game weigh-in. He started the game at 115 pounds, and is down to 95 pounds now. He is eating something (I can’t tell what) in the SUV on the way to Ponderosa. “Every bite I take is like triple the whammy of what I used to have. So, I’m lovin’ it.” He feels like he played a lot of people but what goes around comes around and he got played.

Ken enters the cantina area. Randy is the only Survivor there. Ken wants a hug, but Randy wants nothing to do with Ken’s body odor. He shakes hands instead. As much as I do not want to give Randy credit for anything, gotta feel you here, man. Shower first ... hug later. Ken wants to know where everyone is. He thought there would be a welcoming committee for him. Crystal runs into the cantina when she sees him. She has no qualms about hugging the ousted Survivor. She tells us she’s glad to have someone to talk to. (You might recall from the previous episode that she was mostly given the silent treatment when she arrived.)

Kenny and Crystal sit at a table and talk. Ken spots Corinne and Marcus. He goes to meet them. They shake hands with him, but there is no warmth. Marcus continues making himself a drink without bothering to converse with Ken at all. Crystal tells us she is very happy that they were nicer to him than they were to her. Again, Crystal = better person than me. I would not have given them credit for anything at all. She thinks they may be feeling bad about things because he was good to them in the game. Ken caught fish and fed them. How can you hate the person that works to feed you?

Ken enjoys a meal before inspecting his room. He’s happy to see a clean bed and even happier to see his luggage. He has a suitcase like my five-year-old has. It is a tiny bag about a foot wide, two feet tall (not even to his knees), and eight inches thick. In other words, he has a glorified backpack. He tells Crystal he brought two shirts, two pairs of pants, and two boxers. That’s it. He’s ready for two days. I can only say I am glad he was not voted out any earlier or he might have been just as gamey in Ponderosa as he was in the bush. I wonder if his Mommy wrote his name on the inside of his bag with a Sharpie like we did for our second grader.

Corinne, Marcus, and Charlie are lying on top of each other in a bed. Corinne laughs at Kenny’s luggage. She says it is appropriate for a three-year-old. I am tempted to go back and erase what I said about Kenny’s luggage just so I do not appear to agree with Corinne about anything. However, journalistic integrity does not allow me to. Damn that integrity! Oh for the days when I could delete with a clear conscience!

Ken exults on his bed. He digs into his bag. He has a toothbrush and he can’t wait to brush his teeth. Crystal tells us Ken is in great spirits and he is definitely cheering her up. Ken says he has changed. He came in the game as a boy and left as a man.

Living It Up in Ponderosa

Kenny tells us that he could not believe what he looked like when he reached Ponderosa. Everyone has seen him looking like this and it’s not him. He wants to get his old look back, which means shaving his beard and mustache off. He wants to see what the ladies think. He will keep whatever look they like. Maybe he will take a poll. He will come to the reunion show as the poll dictates. Ladies, did you vote?

It will feel weird to shave it off. It kept him warm at night. By the way, Kenny is wearing a retainer now that he is out of the game. He lathers up his face. He thinks he is okay-looking but has personality. On a scale from one to ten, he is a seven or eight in looks and a nine or ten for personality. He did not realize that the girls were seeing him looking shaggy. He hopes the ladies will like him for who he is not for how he looks. He rambles more about the ladies and whether they will like him with or without facial hair.

Ken is 22 and says he would date girls from 19 to 25 years old. He’s not the kid he used to be anymore even if he looks like a kid. Ken finishes shaving and faces the camera. “How do I look, ladies? Do you like this look or the other look?” He doesn’t keep a beard normally, “but I will if you guys want me to. Wink – wink.”

I have to confess that I have a face that only a mother can love (or a very nearsighted wife and kids who don’t know any better), but, Ken, wearing a beard or not wearing one ain’t gonna make or break your chances with the ladies. You have to rely on that personality you were talking about. The ladies either like your look or they don’t, but being a genuinely nice guy will serve you better.

Hanging Out in Ponderosa

Corinne, Charlie, and Marcus are walking to the beach together while Corinne tells us how cool it is to hang out together. Kenny looks at them and notes that Ponderosa is split between the original Fang and original Kota. He thought the game was over, but apparently not. Ken, Crystal, and Randy sit together in the cantina. Crystal tells us they are still clearing the air. Randy says he takes full responsibility for breaking the ice. Ken says the others don’t want to talk, but what can he do? Randy says the others are talking things too far. Wait – Randy is now the voice of reason? Are pigs flying? Has Ben & Jerry opened a franchise in Hades? It’s too much for my poor brain to conceptualize.

Marcus says that there were things said in the game that can’t be unsaid. Those things have repercussions and have an impact even if “they” want to pretend they don’t. It creates awkward situations. No, Marcus, the awkward situation is that you are carrying over the anger that you have for losing into your post-game life. You got beat – go into the jungle, cut down some vines and saplings, build a ladder, and GET! OVER! IT!

Charlie says Corinne and Marcus were hurt by things that happened to them in the game. They have laid down ground rules for him, saying that he cannot talk to the others. Otherwise he would be pleasant with Ken and Crystal. He thinks it is important for Marcus to see that he has the support of his friends and knowing that they will not talk to “the enemy.” To support his friendship, he has not been talking to them.