Celebrity Apprentice 2, Episode 10: Is It Chicken or Tuna?

As usual, the episode starts with a recap of the previous episode. Here’s my take on the latest nutty behavior: First, teams were evened up by moving an unwilling Jesse to KOTU. The task was pretty mundane, but made interesting when almost every player followed his or her own separate agenda. Annie kept mentioning that she knew David Lee (“met briefly once” would be more accurate), forgetting that everyone here can drop names from now until midnight.

Paranoid for weeks, Melissa finally had her prophesy fulfilled when she was fired. She exited amid a torrent of obscenities directed at players and production staff alike. Mother Joan, who also stamped out after boorishly unloading her most vile insults to date on Brande and Annie, accompanied Melissa’s exit. And there were no exit interviews.

If you missed that episode or want more details, you can read my recap here. Trust me, it was painful!

After last week’s switch, these are the current team alignments:

KOTU

• Clint Black, country singer
• * Joan Rivers, comedienne
• Jesse James, Monster Garage host

Team Athena

• Annie Duke, poker player
• Brande Roderick, Playmate

New action begins with teams reacting to the Rivers’ exit. Jesse doesn’t think Joan will be back, but Annie and Brande expect her return. They both point out that Joan takes everything personally. Brande calls Melissa “a dumb brunette” and is anxious to show Joan that what she considers “this dumb blonde” can beat her in this game.

After threatening to quit twice and then walking out in a huff, wouldn’t a return be, to use Joan’s favorite word, “Duplicitous?”

The next scene concerns Clint’s donation to his charity, the International Rett Syndrome Foundation. It’s a disease that killed his niece, so it has personal meaning to him. His brother tricks him by pretending to be at home, but really, he’s in the next room. When the surprise is revealed, Clint presents his $20,000 check to his brother. They hug. Nice.

Back live, the teams have been gathered for the next task in the area outside the Boardroom. That are Joan-less. Beside Ivanka and the oft-absent Don Junior, two suits that surely must be this week’s product execs accompany Trump.

Making a clearly orchestrated entrance, the elevator dings and Joan arrives. She tells us her team shouldn’t suffer because of a personal issue. Trump says that anyone who does anything to his kids, they have a problem with him.

So I guess I’m wrong. The biggest principle in business is to surround oneself with family and defend them far past the points of all rationality and proportion, without regard to where blame or fault may actually lie. Got it.

The two execs represent Chicken of The Sea. The teams need to create a new, original jingle for the product that incorporates the original signature lyrics. Athena notices the other team has Grammy-winning recording artist Clint Black on their side and figure they’re in big trouble!

In a cameo, Brande spells out the predicament they’re in: “Holy S-R-A-P.” She laughs over her bad spelling, and the camera gal laughs so hard she gets into the shot!

The team must also create a 30-second radio commercial. Brande and Clint will be the PMs. Again, $20,000 will be given to the winning team.

Team Athena know they are in big trouble, because neither of them is at all musically inclined. However, they begin researching the brand and start to gain some confidence.

Athena meet with the execs to pick their brains first. It seems that as expected, women are the primary product purchasers. Asked to name three key words that describe the product best, one exec responds, “Natural, healthy, convenient.”

Back brainstorming, Annie suggests their 30-second spot be a conversation between two soccer moms. Sounds boring to me.

KOTU meet with the execs next. Clint wants to know what points to hit. He knows to include “health,” and an exec adds, “convenience.” Clint also asks if they are all right with using humor. He makes it sound like the eighth deadly sin! They like that. In a later cameo, one of the execs admits to being a Clint fan.

KOTU has the extra player, Clint has a Grammy, and one exec likes Clint. How tilted can the playing field get?

Jesse figures he has to find a way to work with Clint, and starts offering ideas. Clint rejects them. Joan predicts Clint will be prominent, especially in the music; she expects he will direct an unfunny commercial and thinks she’s going to lose. Clint just wants to get to the recording studio.

Both Athena girls share tales of how poorly they sing. In the taxi, they show us they are not lying. I suggest they do it rap style. Giggle fits hide the onset of their raw panic. I feel very sorry for their poor driver, who is an unwilling captive while they repeatedly prove their ineptitude. Somehow, they decide that of the two, Annie has just a bit more musical talent than Brande, so she will take on the task of writing the jingle. It’s a tough call.