The Bachelorette 5: First Impressions – I’d Be Smiling Too!

First of all, let’s refresh our memory of the newest Bachelorette. Jillian Harris is a 29-year-old restaurant interior designer living in the gorgeous city of Vancouver, British Columbia. Perhaps the folks over at Hell’s Kitchen and Top Chef should track her down for some tips for their restaurant showdowns. As we’ve learned from her experiences with Jason, Jillian is looking for someone who can be her best friend as well as her love match. She’s also very quick-witted and adventurous, so it will take a special gentleman to keep pace with her.

This time around, our Bachelorette has a record 30 men vying for her heart and roses. Previous editions of The Bachelor have brought in an extra two candidates, most recently Prince Lorenzo’s two Italian natives, but five extra? We are going to be very busy here at RNO Headquarters keeping track of who everyone is! Therefore, we’ve decided to help ourselves and our readers by giving our first impressions of who will be stepping out of the limousines tonight:

Adam, 27 – Olympic Cyclist from Long Beach, CA

Heather: I dunno, he’s kind of scruffy looking. He has that kind of facial hair that isn’t quite a beard, isn’t quite clean shaven. Could that be a sign of a lack of commitment? On the other hand, if he’s an athlete, he’s definitely dedicated to that. Oh, and he probably will look very nice in any hot tub footage, on the chance Jillian is willing to go there again.

Janie: I’m going to take a different approach here. As some of you may know, I write a weekly prediction article wherein I take a stab at which boys or girls are likely to advance past the next rose ceremony. What you may not know is that Heather is a lot nicer than me. So if my comments seem a little harsh, I don’t apologize. I’m measuring these men and their worth based on first impressions alone – one photo, age and occupation. Jillian is amazing and, by George, I want the faerie tale ending this time around, so the man that wins her heart had better be worthy of this Canadian jewel.

That said, Adam, in my opinion, is one of those “just a matter of time” fellows. I don’t see anything that sets him apart from the others – with little to go on, my first impression is that I don’t have one. He will need to do something to grab Jillian’s attention fast or I fear he will fade into the background. I’d put him through the first rose ceremony, but sadly, no further.

Brad, 27 – Financial Advisor from Chicago, IL

Heather: What a smile this one has! I’m guessing that he has some brains behind that young face if he’s still in finance and has been able to weather this economy. Considering Jillian’s wit, he’ll need that brain.

Janie: What are you smokin’ up there, Heather? I had just the opposite first reaction. His smile seems forced and his eyes don’t sparkle with any kind of intelligence. I can’t see Brad bantering with quick-witted Jillian – she’d wipe the floor with him. I put him out the first night.

Brian, 32 – IT Consultant from Atlanta, GA

Heather: He’s nice looking, but understated. If he’s in IT, he’s definitely bright. Considering my husband spent most of the 90s in that field, I would always give someone in that industry the benefit of the doubt.

Janie: Brian is my wild card pick. There’s just something about Brian… Brian has the cute nerd thing going for him in spades. Loving the fact that he’s gainfully employed! I’m just hoping he’s not equally painfully shy. I think Jillian needs someone who can keep up with her socially; however, if Brian has the self-confidence to let Jillian have the limelight, it could be a case of opposites attracting. I seriously hope Brian lives up to my expectations.

Bryan, 28 – High School Coach from Lawton, OK

Heather: My first impression? He looks like he’s still in high school rather than coaching for it! He’s a total baby face. I’m also wondering how someone is able to be a high school coach full time. Is there more to him, or would that be of concern to Jillian? On the other hand, I did some online snooping and found a picture of Bryan with our Bachelorette in his arms within seconds of his exiting the limo. At the very least, he can pick up the ladies in a literal sense.

Janie: He’s too clean cut, and not in the “cute nerd” way that the other Brian is. Apparently he makes an impression straight out of the limo – good or bad – on Jillian, but before I read that, I had him out the first night so I’m leaving it there. There’s only one Brian getting a rose, regardless of how you spell it.

Bryce, 31 – Furniture Dealer from Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Heather: Ooo, I like this one. There’s something a little pre-couch jumping Tom Cruise about his looks, although his head shot makes him look broader in the shoulders. My main concern is the massive distance factor between Ft. Lauderdale and Vancouver. Someone would have to deal with a move!

Janie: Is he too pretty? Maybe. I’m hoping the sparkle in his eyes is humor and not arrogance. Either way, he should stick around, at least as long as it takes for him to remove his shirt. I think that will be the deciding point for me. He is the perfect age and perhaps he’s more than just a furniture dealer. Is he a salesman? Designer? Does he dabble in antiques? I need more information! Bottom line - I could see him in the final four.

Caleb, 27 – Photographer from Nashville, TN

Heather: Another scruffy guy. I must be getting old, because I’m not sure when this became fashionable. In his favor, he’s creative, as is designer Jillian. This might work, but I’m not feeling it. This is tough just from this information!

Janie: I bet he takes pictures of wildlife and lives in a cabin in… Tennessee? There’s something soft, but rugged about Caleb that’s kind of doing it for me. I can see Caleb sticking around a while, but not long enough for Jillian to introduce him to her wonderful family – I just don’t see the two as more than friends, but I won’t be disappointed if he proves me wrong.