Caesars 24/7, Episode 20: Showgirls Not Named Janu

Good Lord! A&E network moves this show around the clock so much – it’s a miracle if anyone ever sees it! This week, it was on at 3PM, the fourth different schedule slot in the last 2 months. There was no same-day rebroadcast, either!

At any rate, in the first of the two back-to-back half-hour episodes of Caesars 24/7 airing this week, we’ll meet three women who compete to be showgirls (no, none of them is Janu!); a new security-officer; and a bikini photo-shoot.

First tonight is Security Officer and his new charge, Federico. In fact, it’s Federico’s first day on the job. One tradition is a push-up contest against 71-year-old officer Ed Miller. Federico does about 25, claims he did 50, but sure enough, Ed passes 50 with ease. Federico graciously admits that Ed is “The Man.”

One couple brings in a dog into the casino – that’s a no-no. Even in dog years, this pup is clearly underage. They claim they’re heading out, but the closest exit is the only option being offered to them. I don’t know what makes some people tick, to think that their dog is welcome in a casino, but these folks seem seriously clueless.

The “Jubilee!” show has been playing at Bally’s (Caesars’ sister hotel) for twenty years. Tonight, they have an opening for one performer. Blonde Nancy has always dreamed of being a showgirl. Blonder Elena has eight years experience and has always wanted to be a showgirl or a Rockette. Brunette Leah is from small-town in southern Indiana. The girls meet and all seems well, but first-to-arrive Nancy has totally taken over the dressing room. Uh-oh!

Meanwhile, Security notices a fight breaking out. One blackjack player has challenged another to step outside. As Security arrives, one guy will not calm down and has to be evicted. However, he’s resisting eviction too, insisting that the two of them be put out at the same time. Yeah, like they’re going to do that!

At the pool area, we meet Valerie and her husband. They own a swimsuit company, and she is excited to be shooting promotional material at Caesars. They hope to produce a catalogue, some website material and possibly a calendar. Photographer Brian had learned his assistant is late, and one of the models is new. Bad start! And to make it worse, it’s too windy. “There’s whitecaps on the pool!” Brian points out, and all the tarps are being whipped around mercilessly by the wind. Valerie asks if Brian has any way to stop the wind, and he says, “Sure – God!”

Brian learns his assistant is sick and won’t be coming. He asks Valerie to hold a big reflector for him. Hey, she’s game – plus, she has a vested interest in this shoot getting done. He thinks it’s amazing that these millionaires are working for him. Brian suggests to the models, “Just don’t get hit by any debris.” The first set of pictures seems to go well.

To the next girl, Brian says, “No stress, but we have 32 suits to model, and I’ve shot three. How fast can you model?” Further difficulties arise when passing guys try and hit on the models. Brian firmly shoos them away.

Later on, the belligerent blackjack player is taken by the police and will spend the weekend in jail. Caesars Security gave him many changes to leave on his own, but he insisted on raising a ruckus. He’s even uncooperative with the police. Dork!

Showgirl-hopeful Elena is nervous; she hasn’t auditioned for a while. Diane, an assistant manager of the show, tells us the girls have to be ready to go on tonight to perform a basic showgirl part, be a certain body type, be able to dance and have some personality. All three are checked for height. The company manager, Fluff, indicates that tall and willowy is good if you can dance and have personality. See, Diane knows her stuff! Leah is tallest, and Nancy finds it a little intimidating. Leah has butterflies but hopes to take charge once the dancing starts.

We next see Diane putting them through their paces. She works quickly and this is much harder than it sounds. Leah isn’t sure she’s getting it all down before the next part comes. Elena wants more practice to learn the routine as well. On the other hand, Nancy seems to pick it up right away. She looked more graceful as well.

Security officer Don McNally is training Federico today. Federico admits to being nervous and excited. He’s an ex-marine with time in Iraq, so he should be able to handle himself. The first task is to… help a guest into his room?

Photographer Brian finishes with the second model and begins to work with the new model. He literally has to show her how to pose. They’re way behind schedule. To make things worse again, a Caesars employee comes up and says they are closing down the pool, and they have to leave the area! The clients are understanding – being from Florida, they know wind – but Brian is getting concerned. He calls his Caesars contact to plead for assistance.

All right, it’s time to pick a showgirl – and it’s going to be Nancy! The training pace is intense now. Thumb position, hip position, weight on the front foot, remember to smile, keep the cadence – all has to be perfect for tonight. Diane knows what she wants, and Nancy’s kept hopping. Fluff suggests that Nancy should get into consume and try it that way. Fluff says, “You’re ours now.” I think Nancy’s happy for the break!

It’s back out to the windy pool, where photographer Brian gets to keep shooting. He is still utilizing his two executive reflector holders. Valerie says good-naturedly, “It’s good training.” Brian knows he must complete this shoot. Luckily, his contact gives them access to a penthouse suite with a pool. Bottom line, Valerie thinks, These are the best shots we’ve ever gotten.” Success!

Let’s go upstairs and learn how Security helps a guest into his room. It turns out the guest woke up, and, half-asleep and thinking he was going to the washroom, went into the hall instead. He locked himself out and is half-naked… and sheepishly embarrassed. Welcome to international TV! He says he needs to pee… badly. Security lets him into the room, but won’t let him pee until he shows them proper ID. Hopping from foot to foot, he does so, and they are satisfied. Security officer Don thinks the future looks promising for officer Federico.

One last story needs to be wrapped up. We return to new showgirl Nancy, who is in full regalia, including one big-ass headdress. There are 76 marines in the audience, so it will be noisy. As she’s about to go on, she says, I hope I don’t fall,” but thinks she’ll be just fine.

Also in the audience are showgirl rejects (that’s too harsh, isn’t it?) Elena and Leah. Elena admits she was initially disappointed when Fluff announced that Nancy got the job, but recognizes that Fluff knows what she wants and gets it. In the show, Nancy’s role is to be quickly walked all the across the stage and back by a male dancer. Diane thinks she did great, so do I, she just seemed to glide across the stage.

Nancy takes us out with, “I was a showgirl! Woo-hoo.” And thus it ends. Next episode, coming right up! You can read about it here.

In Conclusion:

Tonight’s episode of Caesars 24/7 was called, “Never Underestimate the Unexpected.” All three tales were pretty decent – I think this series is settling into a nice niche. I’ll give this episode a “B.”

Brian is an unemployed/retired programmer from Toronto who really needs to take his wife on a free junket to Caesars Palace. He can be reached at uncle_bto@rogers.com.

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