Knievel’s Wild Ride, Episode 5: Attack of the Drones

Welcome to the Sky City Casino in New Mexico! The fifth episode of Knievel’s Wild Ride is upon us and Robbie tells us he’s going to jump, “a bunch of semis.” We see him take off down a ski ramp but avoiding the take-off ramp by going to his left. He tells us in voice over that he had never done that before but knew he didn’t have enough speed. Spanky Spangler comments that he bailing out when something is wrong is the “sign of a pro.”

Robbie is back on top of the ski ramp for a second try. He comes down… approaches the take-off ramp… flies halfway over the semis… and… we get a freeze frame.

Looks like we have to wait 55 minutes to see how it ends.

One Week Earlier:

Robbie is now in his garage in Sequim, Washington, working on his bike’s carburetor by pounding it with a red hammer. Ramp-builder Todd is watching from Robbie’s right. Todd says he’s surprised Robbie’s going to jump the bike after he threw it down so hard after the last jump. We now see footage of the jump from Episode 1 of Robbie throwing his bike down after the successful jump. It doesn’t look like he throws it down very hard so music is added to emphasize the bike hitting the ground. It’s all quite a reach.

Todd says he also was concerned about the bike because they weren’t in the right frame of mind to be working on it. Robbie and Todd are evidently boozing it up.

As Robbie works, Todd suggests that Robbie should pay $45 for a mechanic to fix the carburetor. Robbie tells him “You know if I BLEEPIN’ listened to you I’d be BLEEPIN’ dead.” Robbie tells us he doesn’t want Todd in his face while he’s working.

Robbie’s bodyguard Master Gates arrives for the trip to New Mexico. We now get footage from Episodes 3 and 4 where Master Gates tells us his job is to take care of Robbie. At this point my wife comments that they recycle so much footage that I could write a recap by just cutting and pasting parts of previous recaps together. I think this show has been edited by a random quote generator.

Back to Master Gates. We now see him on a lawn at some undisclosed location demonstrating some of his martial arts on Roman. Roman flails around at Master Gates’ mercy. I can’t help but think this footage would have been great had it been used in introducing Master Gates in Episode 4 (which in turn should have been Episode 1… man, this show is a mess.)

Robbie now tells us that Rocker Pete is going to a rock concert in Seattle the night before they leave for New Mexico. We now see Pete walking the streets of the fine city of Seattle. He tells us he’s on his way to see Alice in Chains and Queensryche. No, he’s not stuck in the ‘80s. Pete says Robbie will understand. We then see Pete mugging for the camera various times.

The next morning at 5AM, Pete shows up at the Knievel compound in Sequim. Robbie says Pete “finally” showed up hung-over. When were they going to leave, 2AM? Pete says he’s just going to stay quiet and drive.

Robbie asks him how many girls ha came home with last night. Pete says, “None.” Robbie blasts him with, “That’s what I figured.” Ouch!

Master Gates introduces us to the Knievel motor home. He calls it the “unsinkable Titanic”. He shows us Dale Earnhardt’s autograph in the motor home and tells us he was the original owner. He says he thinks Dale’s spirit is in the motor home. Todd tells us he thinks the motor home is a piece of crap. By the looks of things, I wouldn’t disagree. With that, the boys hit the road to New Mexico.

The motor home breaks down outside of Boise. Pete calls it a “stupid piece of crap.”

Now the guys are looking at the motor home on the side of the road. They look at the engine, declare the motor home toast, unpack it, and take off on some Harleys. Yes, this is the second “Broken Down On The Freeway” scene in the series.

Robbie next stops at the Snake River Canyon. The Snake River Canyon is the only jump Evel Knievel never made. Robbie tells us he wants to make the jump. (Then why not do it for your reality show?) We then see some fantastic footage of the Evel Knievel jump from 1974. Wow, I remember having a toy replica of the rocket he attempted the jump in. Evel in the rocket shoots up into the air, but floats down with a parachute and lands on the shore of the Snake River. This is very interesting footage as I had never seen the infamous site of this particular Evel Knievel jump. It’s bad news for Robbie if the best thing of the series is old footage of his father. He better try that Snake River Canyon jump soon!