Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, Episode 2: It’s in His Kiss (That’s Where it Is)

Previously on Britney Now Has More Money Than Bill Gates: An awesome blond girl figured out who killed her best friend and then--. Oh, wait. That was Veronica Mars, two weeks ago. Last week on this show: Britney went to London for her Onyx Hotel tour. She took a video camera with her and got everyone around her to talk about commitment and relationships. Britney brought Kevin to London. Mo didn’t like that. Britney wasn’t sure if Kevin was the one, and she was a little scared.

Britney’s preparing for the first show that Kevin will see. Kevterview says that Britney didn’t want him to watch her. Britney performs “Boys.” You know, the song she sang in Austin Powers 3. She says that there were nine million people there (really?) and Kevin was right in front. The more intimate things got, the more nervous she got. Kevin says that Britney performs all the time, so he doesn’t get why she’s nervous.

Britney won’t let Kevin make any comments about the performance. Kevin wonders if this is because she has feelings for him. In the car after the show, Britney is happy that Kevin is there. She puts the camera on night vision and says that they look like vampires.

Copenhagen. While she gets her makeup done, Britney says that she’s never really liked anyone, but she likes Kevin a lot. In the hallway, Kevin says that he’s not allowed to be in the room with her anymore while she’s changing. Mo winds up on Kevin Cam and tells Kevin to turn off the camera. Kevin tells him it’s not on. Yeah, the red light means “off.”

Britney says that Mo and Tony were tense about Kevin when he first showed up. Felicia says that the security guys thought Kevin would have an attitude when he arrived. She says that he was the new kid in town and joined a family that was already close. In an interview, Mo (Moterview) says that he wondered what Britney saw in Kevin. He didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

Briterview and Kevterview say that Mo and Tony were definitely watching Kevin in the beginning and relaying information to Britney’s mom. In the hallway, Kevin slaps Mo lightly, just fooling around. Bad idea, Kevin. That guy’s about three times your size. Not surprisingly, Mo attacks and sits on Kevin. He kind of deserved that.

More performing. Afterwards, Britney, Kevin, and another girl drink in their hotel. Felicia calls and Britney invites her out to a club with them. Moterview says that Britney was happy when Kevin came to London - they clicked and got along well. Briterview says that Mo and Tony were happy that she was happy. Moterview says that Britney needed Kevin, and once he and Tony got to know Kevin better, they saw that he was really down-to-earth.

Fresno. Kevin grew up there; he tells us a little about his life. His parents divorced when he was eight and he lived with his mother in Nevada for a little while, but they didn’t get along well. Kevin moved in with his father until he was 18, then moved to L.A. The move was a big risk, since he didn’t have a job or know anyone there. He lived in a one-room apartment with a bunch of other people. His first job was dancing with LFO. We see him in a video, with white-boy cornrows.

Briterview talks about the magic of kissing as we see Britney and Kevin kissing. There’s more talking about kissing and how kissing lets you know if the person is the right one. Yeah, yeah, if you wanna know if he loves you so, blah blah blah…. Kevin says that he likes Britney.

In a video captioned May 2004, Britney mentions that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have broken up. Either that date is wrong or they’re talking about a rumor, because they didn’t break up that long ago. Anyway, Britney thinks that Brad is thinking about her. Kevin isn’t thrilled by this, so Britney assures him that she’s just dreaming. Kevin asks how many dreams Britney has made reality, and she says, “All of them.” That’s definitely not the answer he was hoping for.

Zurich. Kevin tapes Britney running and sliding on her stomach on a table. Oh, to be filthy rich and have nothing better to do. Kevterview says that after they loosened up, they started having a lot of fun together. They always have a good time with each other. Britney does a handstand on the table and Kevin admires her butt. They kiss.

Tony videotapes Britney, Kevin, and Felicia on a plane. Britney’s nervous and asks why the plane is getting louder. This reminds me of a story my family tells all the time: when my brother was little, he and my dad were on a plane and my brother kept asking questions, like, “What happens if the wings fall off?” A guy nearby said to my dad, “Sir, will you please get your son to shut up?”

Britney makes Felicia hold her hand and tells Tony to turn off the camera. She explains that she was on a flight before when the plane dropped a lot, which is why she’s so nervous to fly now. She worries about not being able to see the ground and tells Tony to turn the camera off again. Kevin says that he sees the ground; there’s just a lot of fog. Felicia says that she sees water, and they can swim. Britney isn’t amused. Briterview says that Felicia bugs her when they fly, and she doesn’t want her to do that again. On the ground, Britney says that they can breathe again.

In the car, Britney does that thing where she sings a running commentary of what’s happening. They’re in Amsterdam, and for some reason, we’re treated to some shots of the red-light district. Wonderful. More Britney/Kevin kissing.

In a hotel room, Britney sings Madonna’s “Don’t Tell Me.” She tells Kevin that she’s happy because they had great sex. Inappropriate! Briterview says that she wasn’t comfortable getting too intimate with Kevin, so it helped to have the camera there. Kevterview says that he was asking Britney questions to get a feel for her. Britney talks about love. Kevterview says that she would get closer, then back off. Briterview says that she didn’t know how to get close. Britney tells Kevin that her love doesn’t scare her - other people’s love does. Kevin asks, “Who said anything about love?”

Next week: Britney tells Kevin she loves him. Kevin is shocked. Britney feels rejected. Kevin thinks she’s scared, which makes him scared. Why is everyone scared? Britney says that with the amount of aggression she has, she could beat up any guy. Except Tony or Mo, I’m guessing.

Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site! And take a look at the rest of the site. You can find out about other shows at our The Apprentice page and our Survivor: Palau page and Amazing Race 7 page. You can even buy reality show stuff at our Reality TV Store!

For more news about The Apprentice, be sure to check out SirLinksALot: Britney and Kevin: Chaotic!