American Idol 4, May 25: Over and Out

Here it is folks, the end of another trippy trip we call American Idol. Can I admit I’m glad this season is over? Can I admit that I’m not as excited by either Carrie or Bo as a lot of you? Don’t get me wrong, they are both fantastic talents with amazing futures in front of them. This year, I just wasn’t as emotionally invested. No one grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and demanded my attention somehow. That’s my problem. On with the show.

Ryan in a spotlight, welcomes us. He tells us we name a winner tonight! We get a medley of ‘60s hits, featuring an ill-advised falsetto on "Barbara Ann" from Scott Savol, Mikalah Gordon, and Lindsey Cardinale give us a couple of clankers to start "In My Room" and Jessica Sierra saves us by actually being on pitch. Anwar has new hair! He looks like Lenny Kravtiz!

Ryan tells us there is a red carpet, and for reasons unknown to anyone with active neurons, Mikalah Gordon is the correspondent out there. Ugh. Mikalah asks the crowd who they think is going to win. They say Bo. Mikalah feigns that they didn’t have say her, that was so nice of them. Ugh. Mikalah asks Kirstie the same question, and before Kirstie can answer, Mikalah tells her she doesn’t have to say Mikalah. Kirstie seems like she really wants to answer. Okay, Mikalah is officially annoying. She makes faces with Constantine, schmoozes with Paula, snubs Simon. Marg Helgenberger (probably warned by Kirstie) quickly answers that she wants Bo to win. Mikalah seems lost without her schtick, adding feebly, "Bo is a rawk starrrr." Insightful. Mikalah greets an arriving Carrie and Bo with "fabulous." I’m sick of that word now.

Ryan tells us "the story of American Idol, season four." Let’s see if we get the whole story. Lots of bad audition footage, Mary Roach, then on to the Hollywood rounds. Through the eliminations and on to the final two. Yep, not the whole story!

Ryan joins a sunglassed Bo in his dressing room, who gets some well wishes from home. Latoya London, with a tiara and boa on, since she’s being treated "like southern royalty," presents a representative who decrees it Bo Bice Day. Latoya is screaming into the microphone! Stop it! Bo is sent on to the stage, and Ryan confides he has the same outfit as Latoya at home. I say nothing.

Bo performs "Vehicle" once again, and like I said last night, he pretty much owns it. The Ides of March didn’t do much to keep it. Fair bet that song will be on Bo’s album.

Ryan joins Carrie in her dressing room. She admits she’s anxious. Lots of love from home! Matt Rogers joins Oklahoma First Lady Kim Henry to pay homage to Carrie. Kim is sure that Carrie will win, and promises to get freaky with Matt Rogers when she does. Ryan is aghast. So am I. Matt is so tan, he was orange! Miss that guy!

Carrie sings "Angels Brought Me Here" again (got a few emails from folks who pointed out Guy Sebastian performed this song on American Idol when he was the Australian Idol – good ears, folks! That said, it’s not really an "original" song, now is it?), and somehow, it’s better without the background singers. Carrie sounds incredible. Funny what happens when you don’t have to worry about what Simon is gonna say. Oh great, here are the background singers. Still, it’s a good performance.

Ryan joins Randy in his dressing room. Randy is wearing blinding white shoes, with pink shoe laces. It’s not Memorial Day yet! Randy says, ahem, looking back, he thinks Carrie may actually win tonight. (Oh gawd!) He says he’s never seen her connect to a song like she did "Angels Brought Me Here" last night. (While that may be true, is that a reason to award a whole contest?)

We get a montage of Paula being crazy, and then Ryan is in Paula’s dressing room. She says Simon grows on her like a fungus. And, that folks was an utter waste of 12 minutes. Now a montage of Ford commercials.

Ryan joins Simon in his dressing room. Ryan asks Simon at what point did Simon begin to grow this season. Simon deadpans that many are saying it’s his best season yet. Lots of references to the little people, including Ryan. Simon says Bo was the most uncomfortable he’s seen, Carrie handled it better, and he still thinks she will win. Simon suggest Matt Rogers be brought back as a joint host. Ryan suggests they bring back guest judges.

They go to Latoya London, and Simon mumbles he thinks she’s drunk. Then confirms she’s drunk. Latoya London says someone has a question. A youngster asks Simon, "Why you use reverse sah-cology on Bo!" Simon says he doesn’t, but the Alabama crowd is chanting, and Latoya is drunk, and the segment is going to hell. The kid asks again, and Simon yells he heard it the first time. They go to Oklahoma and Matt Rogers again, Ryan pleads for Matt to save them. Matt introduces themselves to Pawpaw, Carrie’s oldest fan, and then her youngest, a puppy. Ryan says Simon’s segment is the worst on the show. Simon tells Matt he hopes to see him next year.

Ryan takes us to the three most emotional moments on the show.

3. Regina Brooks who pawned her wedding rings afford the trip to audition. She went on to Hollywood, but no further.

2. Mark Scroggins (unseen footage) who went all Gus Frerotte on all wall. He did not go to Hollywood, but let’s hope he got help.

1. Mrs. Clark. Her son (not Corey) got invited to Hollywood, and she went on to have a great big fit! Can’t even describe it. She was happy, but she was just in tatters.