Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, Episode 3: In the Mood for Love. Or Not

Previously on With a Kiss, Kiss Here and a Kiss, Kiss There: Britney was nervous about performing in front of Kevin. Mo and Tony finally came around on Kevin. Kevin wondered if Britney was scared to love him.

We open with a tour performance of Britney singing… um… I don’t know, actually. So much for that. On the tour bus, Kevin asks Britney how she feels. After some badgering, she comes out with, “I love you.” A minute later, she wonders why she just said that. Briterview says that she just wanted to throw it out in the universe. On the bus, Britney tells the camera that Kevin is too smooth for her and something’s up. Briterview says she took back what she said. On the bus, Britney says that she might love Kevin in the future, but not right now. She was just caught in a moment.

Dublin. Kevin tapes Britney as they get into an elevator. Briterview says that it was a big deal for her to open up the way she did, since she doesn’t like being that vulnerable. She’s bitter because Kevin didn’t say anything back. Kevterview believes that Britney didn’t want to be the first person to confess love.

At a hotel, Britney watches something on TV and tells Kevin that she could beat him up. Briterview says it has to do with being a southern girl, which makes no sense to me, but I’m not from the south, so what do I know? (Virginia isn’t the south! Shut up, y’all!) Britney tells Kevin to give her four weeks, and then she’ll have so much aggression that she’ll be able to beat up any guy.

Somewhere else, Britney boxes, using Tony’s hands as her punching bag. Briterview says that she has a huge temper. She thinks that she’s being aggressive because she wants to push Kevin away.

Another performance. I don’t know this song, either. At the hotel, Britney says that love is cool, but it’s something you have to work at. Wow, that’s deep. Kevin thinks that Britney is scared to love him, which makes him scared to love her.

Vienna. Britney gives Tony a hypothetical situation - if his wife could spend the night with Brad Pitt and he could spend the night with Halle Berry, would he do it? Tony doesn’t seem to want to answer, and Britney tells him it’s just a game and he’s supposed to say yes. She says that guys lie all the time, and she’s acting like a guy and being manipulative. Time for therapy, Brit Brit.

Mo says that Britney can be hard to get along with. Ya think? Kevterview says that Britney tested him a lot in the beginning. In the car, Kevin says that he wouldn’t want someone he cares about to spend a night with Brad Pitt. Britney thinks that she might spend the night with Brad. Kevterview says something about giving Britney a taste of her own medicine, by treating her the way she was treating him. Britney decides that she wouldn’t spend the night with Brad.

Another performance. Britney sings “Overprotected.” Yay, I saved myself from being 0 for 3 in the song-recognizing department tonight! At the hotel, Britney says that she used to want a fairy tale, but it didn’t happen, so now she doesn’t believe in them anymore. Kevin says that Britney thinks their relationship was all engineered. Briterview thinks that her friends set them up, but Kevin says that he’s proved many times that they didn’t. Over a black and white montage, Briterview says that she’s been in this business so long, she can read people and know their intentions. Britney holds up a lighter and interrogates Kevin, getting him to promise that their relationship wasn’t a set-up. He says it’s too good to be true.

In the morning, Britney asks Mo to get her coffee. Moterview says that Britney has to have coffee in the mornings. Felicia says that Britney is human, and is therefore entitled to have a bad day. Briterview complains that whoever organized her tour was crazy, because she has too much stuff to do.

Britney says that she’s growing up and doesn’t like being judged for the things she decides to do. We see a montage of clips over the Blue Danube Waltz. A guy plays a violin on the street as Britney says that Kevin is mad that she partied too much one night. She thinks he’s a control freak and tells him to turn off the camera. Kevterview says that he didn’t like what she was doing and Briterview tells us that she’s not usually that much of a partier. Kevin makes fun of Britney as she yells for him to come into another room. Briterview admits that she was afraid that Kevin might leave, and Kevterview says that he was ready to go, but obviously they made up.

Next week: Some turning point. Kevin wants to leave. Britney makes a wish in a fountain. The couple takes a long flight and Mo wonders what they’re talking about. Kevin says that Britney proposed.

Jenn Brasler is an aspiring writer from Falls Church, VA. You can e-mail her at luckyjenn@hotmail.com. She's trying to decide whether to use her powers for good…or evil. She will write for money. Or candy. Or clothes from Old Navy.

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