Hit Me Baby 1 More Time, Episode 1: This Could Be the Night

Vernon Kay, borrowing Brian Dunkelmann’s hairdo, welcomes us. He clarifies immediately that these former hit-makers (politely called "music veterans") are competing for the votes of the studio audience to donate $100,000 to the charity of their choice. In a lot of these cases, that charity is probably themselves!

Up first, the eighties rockers known as Loverboy, known for their party anthems and suspicious bulges. Performing "Working for the Weekend," we see poor Mike Reno is bulging in a lot more places than usual! The ravages of time have not been kind to Mike Reno’s voice. He sounds like he suffering through a bout of constipation, though the rest of the band sounds nice and tight. Also, not referring to Mike Reno. Mike, scarily, tells us they will be performing Enrique Iglesias’ "Hero" as their modern day hit. Hide the children.

Up next, CeCe Peniston, who’s "Finally" haunted clubs in the early ‘90s. It was one of those songs that was fun at first, but after hearing it about a trillion times, it literally made me violent. While Mike Reno hit the wall, CeCe looks sensational! Easily 20 pounds lighter than in her heyday, CeCe, accompanied by lusty dancers, sings "Finally" with gusto, but the vocals were not as great as she might have hope. Good, but there were mistakes.

Next, A Flock of Seagulls ("I Ran," "Space Age Love Song"), featuring Mike Score and the hairdo that defined the ‘80s New Wave movement, perform "I Ran" and it doesn’t look like Mike is talking in the present tense. He hasn’t run anywhere. You might remember that the VH1 series Bands Reunited actually reunited A Flock of Seagulls’ original lineup, and it does not look like that lineup is the one that is performing here. Mike Score, and only him with new musicians, has been performing under the name A Flock of Seagulls for a long time now. That said, they are clearly used to performing "I Ran," and without the synths, Mike sounds a little bare, but true to the key. Not bad. The audience seemed particularly into this one. Mike promises to perform Ashlee Simpson’s TV ex Ryan Cabrera’s "When You Come Down" as their modern hit. That should be interesting!

Arrested Development, the afro-centric artists who used to refer to themselves as a tribe as opposed to a band who had hits like ("Tennessee" and "Mr. Wendall"), seemed to defy age. They don’t look any older than we last saw them! They have a new vocalist, I think, but they are absolutely true to the original. So true, I think it was a tape. Speech, lead singer-rapper, says they will be performing Los Lonely Boys’ "Heaven" next. That’s worth looking forward to!

That leaves us with former mall princess, Tiffany, who had a string of hits like "Could’ve Been," "I Think We’re Alone Now," and "I Saw Him Standing There." Tiffany has done a Playboy spread and said she was retiring her old hits, as she sought to reinvent herself as an artist. But, bills gotta be paid, you know. Tiffany performs "I Think We’re Alone Now" and I dare say she was pitchy! Maybe she hasn’t performed this song in a while. She smiles graciously when she’s done, but her body language says, "thank goodness that’s over." Tiffany will be doing Kelly Clarkson’s "Breakaway" as her modern hit! This could be embarrassing.

Now, for the modern hits. Mike Reno tells us when he’s not in the studio, he’s fishing. Apparently, he’s good at it. Okay, I’ll stop. He says he thinks Loverboy’s songs have endured because of the songwriting. Sure. Mike sings "Hero" with Loverboy and surprisingly, he does a better job with this song than with his own. Very nice job!

CeCe Penistion tells us she got married a couple of years ago, and she’s comfortable in her own skin. Good to be that. CeCe Peniston performs Faith Hill’s "There You’ll Be" with a soulful edge. It’s a gorgeous vocal! Smart song choice, she gets to show off what kind of pipes she has. It’s a pleasant surprise! Yeah, she overreached her range a little, but overall, very good job!

Mike Score tells us that A Flock of Seagulls is "basically me and a bunch of buddies" (that means not the original band) and he lives in Florida happily ever after. The Flock performs "When You Come Down" and, uh, performed it earnestly, but Mike doesn’t have nearly a strong enough voice to pull this off. Not good. Sorry boys.

Speech says Arrested Development are based in Georgia, and they continue to vibe by the lake. They perform "Heaven" with Ishe handling the lead vocals, and there are a couple of raps about taking it "back to church." It is a clever interpretation, and good enough to be a single on its own, but the fact that it’s not especially true to the original may rankle some voters. Personally, I loved it. I hope they record it!

Tiffany tells us she’s been working on a new album for six months now. Actually, her comeback album last year was critically acclaimed. She may get another crack at this yet. But, not if they hear her "Breakaway." Ouch. This makes me appreciate Kelly Clarkson even more than I already do! Tiffany has nowhere near the bluster and power of Kelly, and the results were like being in a living room version of Fear Factor. Joe, I quit! There were times that hearing Tiffany was plain painful. Simon would say "excruciating." Hoo baby!

Okay, let’s do a little wagering on this vote. I think the voting should go as follows:

5. Tiffany - two clunkers. Bad night.
4. A Flock of Seagulls - "I Ran" was fun, "When You Come Down" sank.
3. Loverboy - Mike Reno has to let go of the high notes of his youth, but he finished nicely!
2. Arrested Development - two solid performances, but sometimes creativity is not rewarded.
1. CeCe Peniston - one pretty good and one very good. Best solid singing of the night.

But, I think the voting should go as follows

5. A Flock of Seagulls
4. Tiffany
3. CeCe Peniston
2. Arrested Development
1. Loverboy

Hell, my mojo is clearly in need of a tune-up considering what happened with my last American Idol prediction, so I could be as wrong as Daisy Dukes on Boss Hogg! But, let’s see how it turns out!

Tonight’s winner is Arrested Development! Glad to be wrong on this one! If they don’t have a record contract, they need one. They are still immensely artistic and talented. Speech says their $100K will go to UNICEF. As worthy a cause as you’ll find!

Vernon tells us next week, we’ll be treated to performances from The Knack ("My Sharona"), Tommy Tutone ("867-5309: Jenny"), The Motels ("Suddenly Last Summer"), Vanilla Ice, and Haddaway ("What Is Love?").

This was fun! Let’s do it again next week!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for 16 years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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