Hit Me Baby 1 More Time, Episode 3: I Wanna Live Forever

Vernon McKay, who looks like one of those guys in the shopping malls who offer to give you makeovers, welcomes us. He tells us this week’s performers will be Wang Chung, Sophie B. Hawkins, Cameo, Howard Jones, and Irene Cara

Wang Chung, one of my favorite ‘80s bands, if I may be so bold, splashed on the American scene with the album Points on the Curve, which featured a modest hit "Don’t Let Go" and a big hit, "Dance Hall Days." Their success continued with their follow-up album Mosaic featuring the mocking "Everybody Have Fun Tonight." Mocking, because they were demonstrating how easy it would be a to have an American hit – a hit saying nothing important at all, which is not what they are about. Point proven. Strangely, it is that song that has defined them in the eyes of the public. Ironic, don’t you think? Too bad, because Wang Chung did far better stuff (like the work they did on the soundtrack for To Live and Die In LA) for which they should be remembered.

Of course, the show intro got it all wrong! They implied Wang Chung got popular after "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" when it was actually one of the last hits! Grrr. Jack Hues (who, I swear, looks more like Dr. Smith from Lost in Space as he gets older!) and Nick Feldman perform a steady "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" with clearly some backing tapes. No way two guys with guitars and some backup singers could recreate that song so succinctly, and yes, they bailed on the bridge (the really high part with "on the edge of oblivion"), but it was good job. Jack says they will be doing Nelly’s "Hot In Herrre." (Head scratch.)

Sophie B. Hawkins is an example of promise unfulfilled. Her "Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover" seemed to suggest a young woman who was tough and passionate and brazen and sexy. Strangely, her follow-up single "As I Lay Me Down" was just shy of a lullaby. She went from vixen to ingenue and audience just couldn’t quite put their finger on just who she was as an artist. Maybe Sophie couldn’t either. Sophie still records to this day, but she has never even come close to another hit single.

A shockingly youthful looking Sophie appears, and appears to be hopped up on something, goes skipping around the stage and starts singing. My Lord, is she pitchy! Suddenly, she pulls off her blouse, exposing a wife-beater. When you can’t sing on pitch, strip! Vernon attempts an interview, but she’s too hopped up to answer questions. Urinalysis please! She manages to babble that she will be doing Five for Fighting’s "100 Years." This is going to be a mess. Trust me.

Cameo, led by enigmatic Larry Blackmon, produced some of the funkiest songs of the ‘80s with hits like "Word Up" and "Candy." Larry’s curious singing style (a cross between crooning and hog-calling) gave Cameo a distinctive and satisfying sound that was always equal parts clever and accessible. Word is Larry’s own ego is what caused Cameo to come to an end.

Lo and behold, Larry is wearing a cod piece over his leather pants! And, Cameo is still as funky as they ever were. Cameo gives us some funky posturing and Larry sings as well as he did 20 years ago! Very nice job! Larry says they will be doing a song by Bowling For Soup (it must be "1985") as their modern hit.

Howard Jones was a piano prodigy, as well as a student of philosophy. Put them together and you get a discography of positive messages and catchy hooks. Nothing wrong with that, except Howard was not above getting a bit esoteric. If you can tell me what "Time will wear away the stone/Pass the heredity bone" means, I’ll be forever in your debt! To Howard’s credit, he may be the most successful artist Hit Me Baby 1 More Time has ever had perform. His hits include "New Song," "No One Is To Blame," "Things Can Only Get Better," "Lift Me Up," "Everlasting Love," and I could give you seven or eight more! He does not need the money, he’s made millions upon millions. Perhaps, just perhaps, he truly has the charitable prize in mind for being here.

Howard Jones is next, looking older and making me feel older in the process. The good news is he performs "No One Is To Blame" absolutely perfectly. Time hasn’t affected his ability to sing this upper register notes at all! I’m thoroughly impressed! Howard will be doing Dido’s "White Flag" next. Interesting!

Irene Cara is a great music industry mystery. She’s sang the theme songs for two of the most popular movies ever – Flashdance and Fame, which came from two of the biggest selling movie soundtracks of all time. Yet, somehow, her own work as a solo artist not only failed to match the movie songs (admittedly, a tall order), but she’s only managed a couple of modest hits that weren’t in a movie – "Why Me?" and the hideous "Breakdancing." She has a musical resume that most singers would kill for, but when it came to choosing her own material, making her own statement as an artist... disaster. What the heck happened?