The Real Gilligan’s Island 2, Episode 3: Ship Ahoy!

This is the third hour of our coverage of the second season of The Real Gilligan’s Island. You can read about episode two in my review, or I can just give you a short recap: green boat sinks… Skipper Ken gone… Tiy-e almost drowns… Angie recovering… voodoo… golfing avocadoes… Millionaire Howard gone… voodoo… Millionairess’ turn.

But, before we begin, let me correct a misunderstanding I had last week. In one scene, Gilligan Zac tells Mandy and Randy that his mother is sick and needs an operation. Then, we cut to Zac saying that he’ll do anything to win. I interpreted this to mean that he was lying to gain the sympathy of the other players, just like a certain someone did on Survivor a few seasons ago. Well, I got an email from Zac a few days later and he informed me that his mom really is sick. He directed me to his web site that talks about her illness.

So, if anyone would like to donate to the cause, Zac and his mother would really appreciate it greatly. There’s also a lot of good information about Zac on that web site. Apparently, he’s not nearly as goofy as the show makes it seem.

Well, we start the show right where we left off - The Millionairess’ fate lies in the hands of her teammates. The women are worried. We get to see a coconut Howie that Miss Melissa made after her Millionaire fiancé was booted off the island in the last episode. She feels that Howie’s spirit will watch over her in the game.

Meanwhile, Mary Ann Mandy and Skipper Charlie discuss her budding relationship with Professor Andy. She gets the biggest old grin on her face when she thinks of him. But, she also knows that Gilligan Zac is courting her as well. Charlie tells her that she needs to make a choice between them and stick with it.

Millionaires Donna and Jim are discussing strategy. They know that, as an unbreakable alliance, they have a huge advantage in the game. But, as a pair of votes, they know they have a big target on their back.

Now, the funny thing here is that they seem to know how the game will change when it gets down to seven players. The viewers had been lead to believe that the castaways are just as clueless as to how the game works as the first season. This is obviously not true.

Unfortunately, the Millionaires are not the only ones who recognize the advantage they will have later in the game. Gilligan Shawn and Professor Tiy-e are also discussing the same subject. They more or less agree that maybe they should throw the contest so that Donna gets bounced from the game (heh, heh). But, they don’t really agree 100%.

Another funny point is that Shawn mentions potentially eating a bowl of cockroaches and then pretending to gag. Since we’ve seen the previews, the viewers should know that he is exactly correct about guessing the kind of contest the Millionaires will be facing. Again, if he hasn’t seen the first season, he is extraordinarily psychic.

Now, it seems to me that the orange team is behind by one player with four competitions to go. If they were stupid enough to throw the contest, they would have to sweep the final three challenges to have a four to three advantage in the final seven. Even worse, if Millionaire Jim even suspects that they intentionally threw his wife out of the game, he’d never be a solid vote for the orange team.

Soon enough, however, the radio crackles to life and informs the castaways that they should all gather down at the rocky beach. The Millionaires will be throwing a dinner party. Everybody acts surprised and disgusted. They then head off to the beach.

Scott greets them and explains the game. Basically, whichever team eats the most gross food wins. The dishes are the typical reality-show fare: brains, insects, whole fish, testicles, mice, and worms. On Scott’s signal, the teams will have two minutes to eat as many plates of food as they can. After that, the Millionaires will have one minute to eat as many additional plates as possible. Highest total wins.

Now, I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I don’t think I could do very well. I just about can’t eat anything inside of two minutes. Even food that I like, like burgers or fruit takes me at least five minutes to chew and swallow it all. And, food that makes me gag will take a lot longer. I’m not confident that anyone will do well.

Since the green team is up one player, Melissa can pick one player to sit out. She picks Erika, who tells us that she has such a high gag reflex that she can’t eat anything gross.

Scott waves his arm and they’re off! Some players are having trouble. Both Mary Anns are gagging and holding their noses. Melissa just tells us that she zoned out what the food was and just tried to remember that she was hungry. Shawn, of course, hams it up in a big show that he just can’t eat his food. Of course, the irony is that everyone got to pick their own meal, so he shouldn’t be acting completely grossed out just yet. Donna eats the mice, conjuring up images of Susan’s “snake eats the rat” speech from season one of Survivor.

The editing makes it look like the teams really are packing in the food surprisingly well. Well, except Shawn. He tells us that he just moved the food around on his plate a lot. Scott calls time. Then, he gives the Millionaires another minute. They don’t really add much to the total.

Scott calls time again and counts the plates. The orange team has 13 plates finished. He counts the green and they have 14 plates. Melissa wins and Donna goes home. She takes the long walk to the other side of the game.