Average Joe 3: Beauty and the Least?

Welcome to another season of regular guys trying desperately to prove that you really can’t judge the proverbial book by its cover. As usual, a group of gentlemen that nobody would mistake for Mr. America will vie for the attention and affections of a beautiful woman. Before we meet the 18 candidates who will soon discover that this road is as full of self discovery as it is opportunities, let’s get acquainted a bit with the lady that is the center of this coming hormonal storm.

Anna:

This year’s model is literally that – a model. Apart from numerous print appearances, she’s made commercials for Honda and several of the better known casinos in Vegas, not to mention appearing in several fitness product ads. She is literally her own modeling agency and is more an entrepreneur than just a pretty face. Anyone mistaking her appearances in rock videos for stupidity is making a serious mistake. She has her baccalaureate in Business Administration and is no pushover. Her name is Anna and she is the only child of Polish parents, having moved to America when she was only five years old.

On the other hand, with stunning red hair and the sort of figure one would expect from the star of fitness ads, it’s safe to say that her pedigree and diploma will not be the first thing to take the guy’s breath away. In short, these guys are in for a bumpy time. She’s also just single again after a lengthy 11-year relationship, so all of the usual pitfalls of a rebound relationship are likely to come into play.

She has said that the thing she values most highly in a man is intelligence and a well-developed sense of humor and if she’s being honest, she should find several potential suitors in the batch of hopefuls. She also watches almost no television and claims she had no idea what sort of dating show she was going to be on, so she is going to be just as surprised as the men are when they come face to face for the first time on the premiere episode. We don’t have to wait quite that long to get introduced though, so let’s meet the guys who hope to win her rebounding heart:

Aaron C.:

Uh-oh. Any veteran of reality dating shows can tell you that when you see a last initial it means there are at least 2 contestants with the same name. In a group as large as this it means that both men are at a distinct risk of getting lost in the mix unless they do something early to establish a unique personality or nickname.

Aaron C. leads with his intellect, which is a good thing because he has looks that could only be described as “geeky” at first glance. He’s stereotypically thin, with bush hair and the apparently required-by-law glasses. On the plus side of the ledger, he does have a smile full of genuine warmth and a sincerity that makes him feel like an old friend in a very short time.

Like many young men of great intelligence he does tend to overanalyze. When asked about his idea of a perfect first date he immediately begins to postulate. “If the first date is perfect then there better never be another one since it will only be a disappointment,” he responds. He also says he wants to drive around the world which means he either has some common sense gaps that make him forget about that whole ocean thing or he’s so bloody smart that he’s found a secret path that will actually allow him to pull it off!

Aaron F.:

Our second Aaron is one of those guys that just barely miss the mark. You know the ones I mean. You can’t quite put a finger on what it is, but the pieces don’t quite add up to a pleasing whole. He’s beefy without being either hunky or obese, just a bit jowly without quite cruising into the land of the multiple chins or having that lantern jaw that makes ladies swoon.

One would think that he wouldn’t have too much trouble finding dates until one hears how he describes himself. “It’s my way or the highway,” he assures us, “and I march to the beat of a different drum.” What a charming philosophy! I’m trying to keep in mind that reality shows may be unscripted, but they are never above taking someone out of context to make them fit a certain characterization. Aaron number two may just be misunderstood at this point. I’ve seen enough of these shows to give him the benefit of the doubt, but based on what I’ve seen or read I fear the confusion over the two Aarons may be short-lived as our boy here gets bumped early.

Arthur:

Arthur is… well, effervescent is the word that immediately comes to mind. He’s on the older end of the dating show scale at 36, but looks several years younger. He’s a former Navy man – a submariner in fact – and when nervous at least, he has a tendency to forget that sentences end. If Anna makes him nervous at all she may have to slip her comments in whenever he pauses to breathe.

Lest you think I’m being too hard on him, his own comment about himself is, “I have the gift of gab.” When asked what he looks for in the ideal woman, he says that he like a woman to be “intelligent, witty, well educated, charming, funny, and from a good strong family because after all when you get involved with a woman you get involved with her whole family and she has to like tomato sauce because I’m a really good cook and…” you get the idea. He is a very animated man whose entire face tends to get involved in the conversation with his eyes and eyebrows adding emphasis to his words. I hope that Anna likes fish, because he mentions it frequently as one of his passions and his ideal date involves a posh dinner in a fine seafood restaurant.