Beauty and the Geek, The Infomercial, er, Aftermath

As we saw in Episode Six, Richard did not know Mindi’s middle name and thus lost the tiebreaker portion of the final elimination room quiz to Chuck and Caitilin. So why is the show on again? Well, many reality shows that have done well end up with a “reunion” episode tacked on at the end in order to milk some more money out of the program. Believe us here at RNO when we say this – if the show had not been a huge hit for WB, you wouldn’t be seeing the reunion. Or reading this review now, come to think about it.

The show started off with Brian McFayden telling the audience in the studio and viewers at home about the sheer truth these contestants found while participating in the program. Just how truthful is Beauty and the Geek? Truthful enough to fill the studio audience seats with people so phony in their responses that they would embarrass the life out of an Infomercial host at three in the morning on a shopping channel. As the audience “oohs” and “awwws” everything McFayden says, the host tells us that the program was television’s great social experiment. Y’know, I doubt that television’s greatest social experiment was Beauty and the Geek; but if you had that audience around you as the host, you probably would have just started making up crap as well.

Sweating through the opening, Brian finally gets some relief when he introduces the couples from the show. Everyone is there except Eric, leaving Cheryl to come out on her own. There is never any mention as to why Eric did not appear, and it did leave an odd feel to the show when the first couple introduced turns out not to be there as a couple. Maybe Eric was Cheryl’s imaginary friend. Anyway, the rest all come out in the order they were eliminated, with Caitilin and Chuck last. After a quick hug, they move over to two couches with chairs behind the couches for some of the contestants; the guys on the right and the women on the left.

Brian tells viewers that we will “find out what really happened in that mansion.” An odd turn of phrase there, as we just sat through six weeks of episodes, and NOW we’re going to find out what “really happened”? It better not be anything different than what we already saw, or the producers will find a lot of angry viewers feeling suckered on their hands. Fortunately for the producers that didn’t turn out to be the case. Unfortunately for the viewers, that turned out to be the case, as we’ll see.

The show starts off with a montage of “moments from the show.” Brian then asks the contestants about those moments, why people picked certain others, and basically just rehashes information already given during prior episodes in the season.

After a poll result shows that 61.52% of the people polled said they would rather be beauties than geeks, Brian reminds the viewers that the program was a social experiment and not a dating show. Still, some of the contestants hooked-up and McFayden asks Erika if she and Brad were still together. Erika replies that she hadn’t seen Brad since the show and asks if she can go over and hug him. They allow her and she runs over to Brad for a hug and kisses him on the cheek. Brad hugs her back, and while he is very tightlipped about their relationship he does admit that he is considering going to school closer to where Erika lives. He seems reluctant to say if the relationship will continue, however.

Joe is asked about dating and his virginity. He jokes that he plans to sell his virginity on e-Bay, which the audience hoots and applauds as if he was showing off the fine accessories you can get with the George Foreman Grill. Richard is asked if he has had a date since the show. He says no, but that a woman did offer to go to lunch with him. Brian says that’s a date, which may have been if he went through with it (and he might have, but it’s never quite clear if he did actually have lunch with the woman). Still, Richard falls all over himself in playing along with Brian’s gag.

In a TV Guide interview with Chuck and Caitilin earlier this week, Chuck pointed out that the editors on the program made Scarlet out to be manipulative when the two of them had agreed from the start that their time in the house was a little “summer camp romance” and nothing more. Still, every show must have a female villain as well as a male one like Richard, so Scarlet was shoved into the category. So when Brian asks Chuck if Scarlet was “playing him,” both Chuck and Scarlet look a bit offended by the question. Chuck blows off the question, while Scarlet essentially reframes Chuck’s response from the TV Guide interview. It should be pointed out that Chuck referred to their time together in an earlier episode as a “summer camp” situation, so the two are not just trying to blow smoke in order to make Scarlet look good now; earlier evidence in the series – no matter how heavily edited – does support their response to Brian’s question.

Lauren makes out a bit with Richard, who folds up his glasses in order so they won’t get broken in the physical act. With as much heat as he puts into his big lips when Lauren attacks it, it must have felt like kissing a cold leather chair to the woman. Still, she’s having fun with it, so everyone has a good time. Even the dead people supplying the canned laughter heard in this and other segments.

Brian turns to the audience for questions and a woman tells Joe that she had fallen in love with him from watching the show. She then asks him out. Joe agrees and the audience “oohs” and “aahs” as if fireworks were going off. It sounds like a sweet, happy ending, but no doubt this will end tragically with Joe lying naked, handcuffed, and facedown in a ditch.

Well, then again, tragedy for some is happiness for others, so who knows? Godspeed, Joe.

But back to the show. Shawn mentions that he had been able to finally ask women for their phone numbers now as result of the show and has dated one woman who gave him her phone number. Then the results of a poll tell us that 57.21% of the people thought the funniest moment on the program was Richard’s date with Lauren. That may seem high, but the choices for funniest moments were pretty bad to pick from, so you have to go with what you can there.