Kill Reality, Episode 2: A Nervous Nudie

We start off with Tonya being lazy. She said to remind her never to drink again. Yeah, that’ll happen. Apparently everyone was up already for the first day of filming and she ended up being the last one up because of a hangover.

Some of the cast drives to the set, a big house which excites Steven. Jonny Fairplay (JFP) starts out telling people about his rendezvous with Tonya last night. Except he alludes to them having sex. JFP: “Bragging rights is bragging rights.” Reichen and Tonya talk and he tells her JFP said they slept together and she gets extremely pissed over it. Toni finds this all very funny. So do I, so what does this say about me?

JFP tells us that Tonya has been telling people that they didn’t sleep together. He says “Who are they going to believe? Me, the liar? Or her, well, she’s gone by other names before.” True. Just ask Tina, Rachel, Veronica, Beth, Aneesa…

We see a clip from the night before of Tonya pushing the beds together and her asking “We’re doing this right?” while taking off her pants. Okay. That answers that question.

Stacie and JFP start their first scene. He says it’s a lot like Survivor. They just sit and wait for challenges, and they call challenges acting here. It’s a bigger challenge for some.

In the scene, JFP plays DQ and Stacie plays Trish. Not to be confused with Trish and Trishelle who play Raina and Nichola, respectively. You get that? No? Neither did I. JFP and Stacie have a kissing scene and Reichen watches and says that have an amazing charisma. Charisma, sure. Acting? Definitely not from Stacie. Trish (the stalker from The Bachelor, not Stacie’s character) comments that all JFP does is dry hump the girls in the house. Toni says not her because she’d beat the f*** out of him. Is it bad that I’m starting to like Toni?

Stacie wants the opinions of her cast mates - especially Toni, because she is very critical. Toni is surprising nice and says she does a good job. Reichen tells us that Stacie and JFP set the bar for the rest of them.

JFP tells us that his real name is Jon Dalton and his nickname is “Jonny Fairplay,” who he says is a character he made up to get him on Survivor, be the villain, and be the biggest bad guy of all time. Josh tells us how JFP gets chicks. He comes on to the girls right away as JFP and the girls become appalled. But then Jon Dalton comes out as the nice guy and they go “Awww.” Trish affirms this by saying that when he isn’t JFP he’s the nicest guy and very sweet. Tonya says she respects him and is not going to treat him as some guy she just laid. She tells him he’s like that kid in high school that starts all of the rumors. Heh. JFP tells us that he and Tonya have an odd relationship. No kidding.

Reichen and Rob inform us that they are behind schedule, especially with technical difficulties. They are going to do some of the scenes they intend to do on different days.

Next we see Toni massaging Reichen’s feet. He informs us that everyone wants to sleep with him. Toni says that one day she’ll get him. He says that the guys joke that they want to have sex with him and the girls actually do want to have sex with them, but he doesn’t want to have sex with the girls. He says that in reality shows there is always one gay guy and while everyone else is hooking up he can’t have interpersonal relationships. Jenna L jokes to him that he should have sex with JFP. Reichen tells her that not all gay guys want to have sex with everyone. Jenna says she knows a lot that do. JFP says that he doesn’t like him because he’s straight. JFP asks if Steven’s his type, and Steven says that that won’t happen because Reichen’s too pretty, he might as well sleep with women.

Reichen says he used to wish he could just be straight. He even dated a few girls, which he admits was disastrous. He tells the group that it was hard for him because he came out in a military academy and a few guys he told were really cool about, while a few that he told were also until they asked him if he was ever attracted to them, and they stopped being cool about it.

Steven then shows us what he’s really qualified to do: Scrub the toilet. Moving on.

JFP wants Tonya to go out and drink with him. Tonya tells him that he’s just trying to manipulate her. JFP tells us he has no clue about their “relationship.” Tonya tells us that she adores him and he’s one of her closest friends and she loves him.

The next day Toni asks if just the girls are shooting today. Jenna L corrects her saying just the girls and JFP. Toni reiterates, “So just the girls are shooting today.” Ha! I’m starting to like Toni. This is not good.

Jenna L tells us she’s the only girl with a real topless scene. She says she’s a little nervous because she’s not the most endowed but she’s comfortable with her body. At the set they go over the scene with her, and reveals it’s a bathtub scene where they not only have to show her breasts but she has to show her butt too. Jenna is not happy about this because the scene she agreed to and signed on for was a quick shower scene with partial nudity. Okay wait a minute here. She is willing to put out her own sex tape to try and be Paris Hilton, and goes to every media outlet she can and tell them that somebody stole it, it was a violation of her privacy, she has two daughters blah blah blah and then she’s found out to be getting most of the profits from it, but she is not willing to do that scene? Get over yourself, sweetheart.

She bitches to Trish and Josh about it, and Josh agrees with Jenna that he was under a different impression as well. Josh says he will see what he can do, annoying Rob who didn’t want him giving her such leeway, especially with another nude scene coming up (Stacie).