I Want to Be a Hilton, Episode 7: Club Quo

The four remaining contestants—Jackaay, Jaret, JW, and Vanessa—return to their suite at the Melrose Hotel, exhausted after the last elimination meeting. They all muse on how few of them are left, and at how close the prize is.

The next morning, Kathy greets the contestants at breakfast and asks them if they’re ready for their next challenge, which will incorporate everything they’ve learned so far. She splits them up into two boy/girl teams: Jackaay and JW vs. Vanessa and Jaret. The task: to turn a new downtown club into a “hot spot.” They’ll need to network with plenty of people to make their spots successful… and they have only ten hours to do it. (A side note: I know I’ve mentioned this offhandedly before, but what is up with Kathy’s voiceovers? They’re horribly dubbed, and the editing—while brilliant when it comes to making the candidates look stupid—doesn’t do anything to help it fit in seamlessly. It’s just so obvious when she switches to voiceover, because her tone doesn’t match her regular speaking voice at all. It’s awful. If they ever bring this show back for another season, they need to fix that.)

Whichever team has the more “successful” nightclub (that is, the one that has the highest attendance) wins the task. The winning team will win some super-fancy watches (that cost more than all three cars Jackaay has owned in her lifetime, so she says). The losing team? They’ll meet with Kathy and one of them will go home. JW interviews that, coming from a small town in Mississippi, this task will be hard for him.

Kathy and the contestants meet public relations expert John Mosely at the Quo nightclub to learn how to network. Voiceover Guy expositions that the Quo nightclub will be split into two separate rooms, and each team will run one of them as their own club. They meet their staff, and then sit down to name their respective clubs. JW interviews that he’s glad to have ended up with Jackaay, “because she’s got way more personality than Vanessa and Jaret have.”

JW and Jackaay start brainstorming possible club names. “Modelicious?” Jackaay suggests. JW starts to panic over the enormity of the task. Jackaay focuses on the name and finally suggests “Status at Quo.” Oh, no. That’s a terrible name. Not only is it too cutesy and tries too hard to be clever, but if you ever wanted a name for a mediocre nightclub… that’s it. I mean, if I were looking for a fun night, I’d be turned off by a place that pretty much claimed to be the “status quo.” (And I know that’s not what Jackaay was going for, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind for me.) I’d want to go somewhere that had a name that suggested it was more than the “status quo”… more exciting, more fun… you get the idea.

We then cut to Vanessa and Jaret brainstorming. Ooh, is she going to try and blame Jaret for stealing one of her ideas? Maybe not, but she is bossing Jaret around quite a bit. Jaret picks up on it, and interviews that she was very “rude” and “bossy.” Vanessa interviews that “I know that people think I’m bossy, but I don’t care.” Oh, the hate I have for her. Ugh. She’s actually worse than Yvette and Crazy Liar Ann, because she’s a complete bitch and totally unlikable, but on top of that, a) she’s not as entertaining to watch because she’s not crazy; and b) she’s smart and competent enough that she didn’t get kicked out in the early rounds… so we have to keep suffering. Anyway (to get somewhat back on topic), they name their club “Lunes at Quo.” Not a great name, either, but I’d pick that over “Status.”

Kathy gives both teams little black books filled with the names of the people they need to schmooze with over the next few hours. JW interviews that “networking is all about trust.” Jaret enters the radio station POW 105 to deliver an advertisement over the air. He’s very nervous about it. (In her cab, Vanessa wonders aloud “how Jaret’s doing with his ‘twang’ on the radio.” Ugh. Shut up, Vanessa.) Jaret actually does a pretty decent job, with the exception of referring to P. Diddy by his formal name, “Sean Combs.” The on-air DJ corrects him, but he has a sense of humor about it.

JW starts networking with a “New York party girl” (?) named Stacy Nunez. She tells him that she knows about 30-50 people that she could bring, and can actually guarantee about 25. She interviews that she enjoyed interacting with JW.

Over at Lunes, Vanessa and Jaret also meet with Stacy Nunez. She doesn’t seem to like them as much, though—she asks them a few questions about the bar, and neither Jaret nor Vanessa seem to be able to answer her question.