Tell it Like it Is – The Average Joe 4 Mailbag

I’ve written many a recap over the past several years. But apart from American Idol 2, I’ve never received as much mail as I did for this latest season of Average Joe. Something about the show sparked a desire in people to comment about their opinions. The mix was remarkable, spanning the arc from those who loved it to folks who swore they would never watch again and everything in between. As a capper to what seems to be the last-ever season of the series, let’s look at some of what people had to say. Many of you had questions and I’ll try my psychic best to answer where I can. I also have a big surprise for you, so stick around.

One of the first e-mails I received was from “J” (keep in mind that I promised I wouldn’t use names without permission) who summed up the sentiment of many viewers of the show. “Why do I do it?” J wrote, “I hate this. I’m getting suckered into the idea that the Joes might have a chance.” This is exactly the reaction that NBC hopes for. They know that people have a tendency to root for the underdog and hope folks will tune in each week to “see the little guy win.” On the other hand, maybe you did it because your bowling league doesn’t meet during the summer and you didn’t have anything better to do. I see a tall and handsome man coming into your life soon… he’s installing digital cable so you can watch Big Brother: Budapest and all the other shows you’ve been missing.

Of course, just as many people watch the show to root against the himbos that arrive at midseason. MKM put Carson at the top of her hit list. “My God, what a jerk,” she wrote. “I feel so sorry for his parents. I can’t imagine watching my child treat other humans in this manner.” In fairness to Carson though, it should be noted that reality producers regularly pick out a villain and deliberately edit the footage we see to make the person out to be as sinister and hateful as possible. I’m sure there were acts of great kindness and sincerity on Carson’s part that wound up on the cutting room floor. A waste of a perfectly good 17 inches of film, if you ask me.

This sentiment was also echoed by someone calling themselves “Me” who wasn’t really me, but a woman pretending to be me that was really someone else. Me (but not me) peppered me with questions. “Does the temperature drop when you stand near them (the Hunks) due to the missing soul?” No Me, a lack of soul doesn’t cause coldness. It that was the case Donny Osmond would be constantly surrounded by people in parkas and longjohns. “Do other women find absolute evil attractive?” Don’t know, but if it’s true I have an ex-wife who must constantly turn herself on! “Am I the only person positive that Michael is gay?” All kidding aside, I’ve heard from people on the show that it was a running joke around the mansion that with the exit of both Dante and Michael in the same week, Carson lost his two best chances for hooking up! My guess is that if Michael is actually gay, he is so far into the closet that he’s on a first name basis with the dust bunnies.

I also heard from S.L., who stated that this show proved that the only way for men to get better looking women interested in them is “to get taller, better looking parents.” I did check on E-bay and found out that they were completely sold out of supermodel moms and NBA dads, so I guess the rest of us guys will have to settle for doing our best at being decent providers, and caring partners to those who would stoop to being with us. Sorry ladies. There are gene pools, and there are gene puddles. We play the cards we’re dealt.

As the season began to wind down, I got an e-mail from a woman named Linda who was convinced that Anna would choose Rocky because he would give her tall and good-looking children and was too vapid to think beyond that. She was so certain of herself that she went on to predict the couple would sleep together until the shine wore off and then head on to Splitsville. The day after the finale she wrote me back, admitted she was wrong, and offered to come by and dine on a Hungry Man dinner – Crow, mashed potatoes, and a little square of Humble Pie for dessert. If you’re reading this Linda, thanks for the predictions, the comments, and most of all thanks for the chance to show the world that there are still people out there who stand up and admit they are wrong just as quickly as they proclaim their opinions.

I did get quite a number of the expected e-mails in which people predicted the winner, but the most common thread in the mail as we approached the finale was the conviction that things were rigged. People thought things looked too rehearsed and that Rocky in particular was a “hired” actor playing a role. While I doubt any reality show would risk the scandal of actually faking results, I do know that every “unscripted” show has shades of fakery. The most famous example is Survivor. A couple of seasons back, it came out that producers didn’t like the way a swimming competition looked when they saw the final footage. Their solution was to recreate the event with stunt doubles to make it look more dramatic. Before you scream foul however, the final results weren’t altered, but merely reenacted.