Being Bobby Brown, Episode 7: Every Little Step I Take

As we begin, Whitney is embroiled in a hellacious pillow fight with the kids. While she’s being whomped mercilessly, Bobby is snoring away in bed. Whitney finds it remarkable, sarcastically, that he could sleep through that. “What a guy!”

Bobby tells us he’s in Los Angeles. Then his phone rings. We hear Britney Spears’ “Toxic” as his ringer! He looks squarely into the camera and says, “There! She can steal my song, I can steal hers!” (Britney remade “My Prerogative” on her latest album). His first stop is the Jimmy Kimmel Show. “Right now, I welcome anything! I haven’t done a show like this since Arsenio Hall!”

On that “welcome anything” note, Bobby doesn’t seem to know why he’s on the Jimmy Kimmel Show! A producer tells him that he wants Bobby to “do some stuff with the band at 2:00.” (Do some stuff with the band? That means sing, right?) Bobby tells us again he doesn’t know why he’s there. He kicks off his shoes, lies on the green room couch and calls his brother. He leaves a message. Tommy calls back and Bobby asks for some clarification. Ah, yeah, Bobby, you’re performing. Oh, there is more good news. Whitney is breezing through town.

Whitney and Bobbi Kristina are in the Von Dutch store. Whitney is watching Bobbi Kristina shop with hawk-like acumen. There will be no short skirts. Bobbi Kristina tries a couple, but Whitney vetoes them instantly. Then a shirtless bearded man in a skirt (??) makes his loud debut, “Ooooh Miss Whitney! You know Miss Whitney is number one!” Whitney eyes him warily. We know how she is about fans! He claims he’s from New Jersey. He wants some of that Newark love! Whitney grills him on the finer parts of Newarkdom. He passes the test, and they do a dance in honor of New Jersey.

Jimmy meets with Bobby to say hi. Then Bobby heads on to rehearsal, warning he hasn’t performed in a long time, so he may forget the words. The band is already burning through “She Ain’t Worth It.” Bobby nails the rap at the beginning, but the rest of the words fail him. He says he’d rather do “My Prerogative.” The band is ready and nails that song, but words fail Bobby again. Next they try “Every Little Step,” and Bobby is still unsatisfied. He tells Tommy he’s in trouble. Tommy (and other voices) swears he sounds great (he does!). Bobby thinks he sounds “like stir-fried sh*t up here!”

Back at Von Dutch, Bobbi Kristina takes about dozen Von Dutch caps. Whitney tries to claim the suede ones. Bobbi Kristina balks.

Bobby says he gets to meet with his oldest son (his “big boy”), Landon, who he doesn’t see so much because he’s on the West Coast. Landon tells Bobby he’s going to be performing soon as well. Bobby is beaming with pride that his son is a performer as well! Landon looks to be in his late teens, with a beautiful clear voice that suggest his singing voice will be remarkable! Landon says he doesn’t have much luck with women when they find out who his father is, “The stupid ones are like ‘I want to meet your Dad!’ The smart ones are like ‘I don’t care who your father is, I don’t care at all… when do I get to meet him?’” Landon gives Bobby some of his recorded stuff.

Bobby gets dressed for his appearance, gets a hug for luck from Landon, and it’s show time! Jimmy asks what exactly is a “tenderoni?” Bobby points out examples in the audience. Is Whitney a tenderoni, Kimmel asks? Bobby says Whitney is a “tender tender tender tenderoni!” Bobby says he likes to watch her walk around the house “butt-ass nekkid!” Landon is watching this on a monitor with two lady friends. The ladies look amused, but Landon’s eyes are full of love, admiration and pride watching his father. Bobby sings “My Prerogative” and it doesn’t look like he’s lost any of his stage charisma. Landon is mesmerized, quietly singing along, watching every move Bobby makes. Bobby sings “Roni” and Landon looks like he’s in heaven. Bobby gives a solemn thank you to the crowd. He seems genuinely touched by the enthusiastic response he’s gotten all night!

Walking backstage, Tommy says it seemed like the old days. Bobby smiles, “I really enjoyed that!”

Later, Bobby tells us Tommy always has something up his sleeve – this time, a meeting with a hotshot producer, who brought some arm dressing with him. The giggling kind. One girl orders a Sex on the Beach, and the producer thinks Bobby should spend a week with them. One girls says, “Yeah, then we can have Sex on the Beach every night!” Bobby knows she’s not talking about drinking. Then Whitney calls. She’s coming over. Miss Sex on the Beach says she’s so hungry, she’s about to eat Bobby’s arm. Yeah, she’s hungry all right.

Bobby’s spidey-senses tell him to split before Whitney shows up, and does. He tells them he’s going downstairs. He goes downstairs, and out the door! Bobby is sure Whitney thinks he’s doing something wrong, so he decides to extract himself from the situation, buying about three dozen roses from a vendor along the way. “They’re trying to get me killed!” he tells us.

Next day, Bobby says he’s taking Whitney to a Christian Dior event. Whitney’s platoon of makeup artists, etc. goes to work on her. Bobby sleeps in. They leave, and arrive at the event. Do some press. They talk about Being Bobby Brown. A reporter asks if it’s going to be better than Nick and Jessica. Bobby and Whitney won’t step in that minefield. Whitney says that Nick and Jessica are cute, and they are Bobby and Whitney. Bobby (somewhat irritably) just keeps saying, “Come on! Come on!”

The Browns do some dancing and clowning as they do, and seem to have a nice night.

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for 16 years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site! You can find out more about some other popular shows on our American Idol 4 page, our The Amazing Race 7 page and our Survivor: Palau page; and don't miss The Reality TV Hall of Shame. You can even buy reality show stuff at our Reality TV Store!

For more news about Being Bobby Brown, be sure to check out SirLinksALot: Being Bobby Brown!