Kill Reality, Episode 3: The Villain with a Case of the Giggles

Before I start, I want to apologize for the lateness of this article. I was out of the country for a week and am back now to find myself with a hectic week at home so I’ve finally gotten the time to write the article.

Anyway. We start off with a replay of the clip of Jenna Lewis stating that she would never f*** Steven Hill because that’s Trishelle’s scraps. Apparently things have changed a bit and Jenna does really like the guy. Steven tells us that he doesn’t know about their relationship.

Later on, Toni Ferrari talks to Rob the producer and apologizes for her diva attitude with the entire writing in lines thing. She tells him that she has had her head up her ass and she’s getting it out of her ass and that he’s done a great job. Toni tells us that she should be thankful that she’s here, and that she should be thankful that they fought for her, and she is. She’s happy to be part of it, and she is here to do the job they hired her to do.

Rob tells Jonny Fairplay (JFP) and a producer who looks like Steven Segal about the Toni incident, and that they gave her another line because they cut the medic. JFP still doesn’t understand Toni’s anger because she has more lines than Jenna Morasca, and Jenna was on the cover of Playboy and won Survivor: The Amazon.

On the set, Steven and Jenna L shoot a scene. Steven thinks he’s doing a forgettable part in the movie. He doesn’t feel his acting is up to par, and some feel he’s over thinking it.

At the cast house a bunch of people are in the hot tub. Reichen says that Trish rubbing up against him kind of got him turned on. What? Okay. Jenna L and Steven are canoodling in the hot tub as well.

Jenna is telling Steven that he needs to change the way he delivers his lines because they are in a sing-song type of voice. She says that the first day of rehearsal he was so good but then it just tapered off from that. She adds that now he’s “trying to act” instead of just being his character. Steven says that he wants the criticism because he wants to step it up. He doesn’t want to be the worst actor in the movie. Jenna: “Uh…there’s no risk of that.” I have to agree with Jenna on this, especially with Stacie “Oh my God!” Jones in the mix.

Ethan Zohn arrives with Stacie chanting “eth-an” and not “e-than.” I take back what I said about Stacie being the normal one here.

He tells us that he’s very nervous playing a character, because he only knows how to be himself. Rob doesn’t think he has the script down. Rob tells us that Bachelor Bob is flying in tonight.

Steven, Ethan, and Jenna rehearse. Ethan, well, on the their Notes Board there is a note that says “Ethan sucks!” and that pretty much sums it up.

Stacie asks everyone to tell her who the guy is playing Matt, because she doesn’t watch TV. They explain that Bob is kind of chubby and that Trish may be the only one who knows him. Bob arrives and tells us that his schedule is nuts. Trish is excited that there is another Bachelor person. JFP says there is an alliance between Ethan, Jenna, Rob, and himself that is the “cool kids alliance.” Rob adds that if worse comes to worse they’ll add Reichen and it’ll be the “CBS alliance.”

Rob tells the problem is that Ethan and Bob are shooting a number of their scenes together but they both have yet to shoot one scene yet.

The group watches the dailies and Reichen feels that it’s boring and awful. Steven tells Jenna and Stacie that it was a miscast giving him the lead, which the girls disagree with. Jenna thinks that he needs to just stop taking things so seriously.

Steven Segal look-alike is also named Bob so I’ll just call him Steven Segal from now on to differentiate from Bachelor Bob. So Bob Segal says that Bob has to play such a menacing character and it’s so different from him because he’s such a giggly guy, as we’re made to watch Bob giggle four-hundred times. Bob thinks it’ll either be a blast or a nightmare.

Ethan said to prepare for his role as Murray, the crazy meth-head, he basically walked the streets of New York because there are a whole lot of crazies there. That’s funny, if I ever need to find crazies I just turn on Kill Reality. They start to shoot their scene and Bob starts cackling, which Rob says sounds like the Joker from Batman. Ethan turns out actually being a very good actor. Bob still sucks.

The next scene that’s shot is Toni, as Officer Kozlowski, interviewing Stacie’s character. Rob tells us that they have run into the Swiss Army Knife of movie workers in Toni. She says that she can be an actor, writer, acting coach, make-up artist, stuntwoman, and a grip if they need her. Rob did get her to drive the van though. They shoot the scene and Toni isn’t that bad. It may be because she’s next to Stacie but whatever.

Reichen, Steven, Ethan and Jenna shoot their scene. Toni gives Ethan kudos, and Jenna critiques Steven. He feels he has let their co-actors down. Rob is mad that Jenna has gotten into Steven’s head. Rob thinks that she’s just trying to get in his pants. Steven tells Segal that he has 49 more lines, which just shows how much ego he has.