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The Surreal Life 5, Episode 11: Is It Real, or Is It Omarosa?by Donna Reynolds -- 10/07/2005
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In the last episode, we were left hanging, waiting for whatever it was that was revealed about Omarosa that caused an outburst of horrified gasps from the rest of the Surreal Lifers. I’m sorry to say that all this was pretty much hype, and the so-called secrets were sort of a yawn. Anyway… picking up where we left off, Sally Jessy Raphael is hosting Dirty Laundry, and has just told the panel that they (and we) are going to have a chance to see the “real” Omarosa. Goody, you say!
Sally turns to the big screen, and we are treated to one of Omarosa’s on-screen confessionals. This particular interview seems to have been done at the beginning of her stay at the Surreal House, and she lavishly praises both Janice and Pepa. At first, there is nothing untoward about what she has to say, and she is all smiles and exhibiting a pleasant personality that seems a bit forced. She’s just soooo thrilled to be sharing a house with these two women, she says.
Nothing real shocking there. But when we cut away from the clips, Omarosa begins making her case for being the “professor” of reality TV. She says that this is her new career, and that people expect her to be a bit nasty. This is a career? Of course, Omarosa has had several careers already, so what’s another diversion? She claims to be writing a thesis on reality TV (for what, pray tell?) and has been doing all of this to make a living. I wonder just how much these people get paid to do this show. Perhaps I should have explored this particular career option myself. Reality show bitch, eh?
Anyway, it’s time for Sally to drop the bombshell for which we have all been waiting. Seems that there are outtakes of Omarosa’s interview clips, and for the first time, they are about to be revealed. Oh no, tell me it ain’t so!
The on-camera interview has stopped momentarily, but surprise, surprise, the camera keeps rolling. Omarosa’s face changes subtly, and she starts to pick apart the assistant producer who has been assigned to take care of this segment. Telling her that she doesn’t like her interviewing techniques, Omarosa insists on having another assistant producer assigned to her, and gets all indignant and self-important. No surprise, it’s the Omarosa we have been missing, right!
Sally is incensed, and the audience boos Omarosa with great gusto. This, of course, wakes Janice up from the dead, and she and Omarosa begin yet another argument. Janice calls Omarosa a “fake bitch,” and Omarosa counters with the traditional crackhead commentary. Janice denies that she uses drugs, and says that she doesn’t drink either.
Sally is determined to get to the bottom of all of this, and polls each individual cast member as to whether or not they think that Janice is a dope fiend. One by one they bumble through their answers. No one will admit to having actually seen Janice getting high, although Jose does say that she has acted strangely at times.
Of course the butcher knife incident is resurrected, with yet another airing of the entire “Janice wielding a knife/Omarosa flipping out” segment. Bronson tries to defend Omarosa, saying that he didn’t see anything wrong with her telling Janice to back off. Janice, of course cuts him off and he gets mad. As usual. This whole show within a show is so predictable, I have a hard time keeping myself from falling asleep.
Anyway, Dirty Laundry runs out of time, with Sally having determined that Omarosa is not real. Shocking, isn't it?
No one should be surprised by this, but it seems that Caprice is very upset that Omarosa is not “real.” Fear not pretty lady, Omarosa promises that when she travels to Europe in the summer, she and Caprice can hang out and Caprice will have a chance to see who Omarosa really is. And who might that be, we wonder!
But Caprice seems to have reached her breaking point, and can’t handle anymore lies and deception. She rushes off to weep privately. But of course, Bronson, who must have been lurking nearby, sees her and brings her a blanket for comfort. Tears are rolling down her face, and Bronson is thunderstruck, telling her how beautiful she is.
They hug, and then Bronson leans in for a kiss… to be continued. Ewwwwwww. I don’t think I want to see this! But, of course, I will be watching as the next episode is the last of this series, and I will be free from the bondage of covering this dreck once and for all!
Donna Reynolds is a freelance writer based in Syracuse, New York. While entertainment sustains her emotionally, she earns her daily bread by writing and editing web copy. Check out her website at www.reynoldswrites.com. Donna loves mail, so shoot her an email at email@example.com.
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