The Amazing Race 8: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Episode 6

Jeez, this season is reminding me of Survivor: Vanuatu, where all my favorites just kept falling left and right. All’s well that ended well there, so I’m hoping this is only drama until the Linzes or Bransens take home the money.

It’ll still feel like winning by forfeit, though.

On another note, congratulations to the lovely and talented Jenn Brasler for finally seeing the truth. We forgive you, Jenn. Now get to work on your penance.

The Good:

Which Section Is This?: I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m putting the Paolos in the Good this week. I was actually glad to see them come in first! I was mightily impressed by Tony’s performance on the detour, literally carrying the team on his back. He was a friggin’ machine! That’s what clean living and hard work can do for you, I guess. I was also pleased to see Marion do her all when it counted. I… I actually smiled when they hit the mat in first! Fine job to you guys.

Why am I going soft on the Paolos? Could it be because they yielded the Weavers and then took the stones cast their way? Not that they were there to hear the Weavers’ juvenile and oh-so-Christian insults, that would take courage on behalf of the Weavers to confront someone, so we know that ain’t happenin’. It made me physically ill to see the Weavers make fun of Tony for being a garbageman. No, it’s not the best job in the world, but it’s work that needs to be done, and it’s work that you can take pride in, knowing you’ve left the world a little better than you found it. Anyone who can’t see that needs a severe attitude adjustment. And that’s not even mentioning the abhorrent “retard” comment. We’ll get back to this later.

That’s not why my anti-Paolo stance is wavering. And it’s not even because I found out they’re good friends with the Gaghans. It’s that (with the exception of a couple instances with D.J. that made me wish for a good backhand) they behaved like a family this episode. Being supportive, helpful, understanding, patient, respectful… and then there’s that detour performance! Had we seen this Paolo family six weeks ago, I would be cheering them on without reservation. Now, well, they’re really the only good ones left except the Linzes and maybe the Bransens, aren’t they?

The Bad:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Part II: Man, as much as the Aiellos’ Philimination upset me, I was a big pile of jelly seeing the Gaghans pull in last to the mat. Why? Well, forget about how well-behaved and adorable the kids are, even though that’s a big reason. The Gaghans brought everything that I hoped this Family Edition would bring, but deep down didn’t think it would – family unity, encouragement, parents who obviously cared for and loved their kids… everything a family should be.

I’m always the first to decry schmaltz and sappiness, so the fact that this family sucked me in hook, line, and sinker says something. Plus, I was hoping that they were getting the so-called “winner’s edit” that people claim teams like Uchenna & Joyce and Chip & Kim received. No such luck there, but with any luck the Gaghan family will go down in Amazing Race history with teams like those, Jon & Al, Don & Mary Jean, and Jon Vito & Jill.

GodWHOski?: Am I the only one who occasionally forgets these guys are even IN the race?

The Ugly:

Yeah, Jesus Called, He Wants You to Stop the Friggin’ Name Dropping: I seem to remember when Jesus was on the cross, unfairly persecuted. He complained and made fun of the people, mocking their professions and calling them retards, right? I definitely remember that. It’s right next to the scripture that says not to trust anyone else except family.

Yeah, I know I’m going to get static for that comment, so let me explain. No, I’m not saying that dying on the cross and getting ganged up on in a reality show are anything similar. But here’s my point. The Weavers claim that, by being Christians, they follow Jesus’ teachings. Yet they can’t seem to follow the most basic. Golden rule? Nope. Treat others as you would treat Jesus? I hope not! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone? The stones were flying on that yield mat, weren’t they? Turn the other cheek? Not that I’ve seen.

My point is, anyone can be a good Christian when things are good. But – and keep in mind I am NOT a religious person – I think the best way to follow Jesus is to emulate him. WWJD, all that, right? If Jesus can be whipped, beaten, nailed to a cross, and left for dead yet STILL forgive his tormentors, can’t the Weavers handle being yielded IN A GAME without resorting to third-grade behavior? I probably would have scoffed had Linda said, “forgive them, they know not what they do,” but I do think a little less name-calling was in order here. You can't even claim that it was bad editing. Look at the picture at the top of the column! The kid is pointing at the Paolos' picture with a mocking face, and Linda is laughing right along with the others. Hardly conclusive, but until I see footage of Linda scolding the kids for acting like idiots, it's good enough for me

Seriously, get upset at the yield, whine and piss and moan, but don’t be ignorant to others, making fun of their profession or appearance, and then proclaim that you’re not going to lower yourselves to their standards. Guess what? Much as I hated the Paolos, you’d need a big ass extension ladder before you could even think about rising to their level. If only the mud were deeper.

Yep, in case you were wondering, still no apology emails. Yeah, I’m shocked too. Does anyone out there still like this team? Seriously, no arguments, no name calling, no judgements. Just tell me why.

Mike DeGeorge is an Accountant from St. Louis and is also Associate Editor for RealityNewsOnline. You can reach Mike at rno.mike@gmail.com.

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