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The Amazing Race 8 Insiders, Mat Chats and Phil’s Diary, Episode 6: Nobody Expects the Weaver Infestation!by Heathyr Fields Ford -- 11/08/2005
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As a sidebar, let me just say that my ten-year-old son came up with the idea to dress up as a cardinal from the Monty Python skit for Halloween (a solid dose of BBC America in this household, let me tell ya). I’m so proud of him, I could just burst. Sadly, only a few people got it when he and his brother, clad in red robes and crosses, declaimed “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” instead of the rather mundane “Trick or Treat” the other herd beasts, my daughters included, use. Those that did, however, were entirely appreciative. Typically to the point of being rendered virtually useless in the handing out of candy. Yes, long sidebar, I’m aware. Deal.
As I was saying, I am less than enamored of the tasks thus far. As far as the family variation, I think AR8 would have been even more entertaining to watch if it consisted of families with at least one or two parental figures and the remaining two or three members having to be children ages 8-17. That is what I thought AR8: Family Edition would be. Both of these pale in comparison, however, to the Weavers. The Weavers are vile and hideous representations of the human race. That they call themselves Christians disgusts me. I disliked their antics and hypocrisy long before Episode Six, but with this episode, they earned their permanent place on the bottom rung of life’s ladder of decent people. To quote my better half, “they are the stuff you rub off the bottom of your shoe on the curb after walking through a dog’s backyard.”
On a brighter note, the Gaghans are stellar examples of really great people. Of course, the brighter note is also sad, because the Gaghans got eliminated. Le Sigh.
On a really bright note, a couple intrepid readers cracked CBS’s code and sent on to me how to watch the videos without wanting to learn how to shoot a gun. For those of you who wish to also view the clips, try this: On the bottom right of the pop-up screen which houses the listing of clips, there is a wrench with “Player Settings” next to it. Click on this. Choose Real Player (make sure you have it downloaded, of course). Then double-click on the clip to let it play. When it starts in the little window, right-click on it and choose to play it in Real Player. This pops up the Real Player window, you can click the Fast Forward icon and it skips the damnable commercial, and best of all, the videos play!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Even brighter, we do actually have recaps in this article. Let’s get to them, shall we? Can the Weavers redeem themselves in the clips? Heh, don’t count on it, and before you get ready to send me hate mail, go watch the clips yourself and tell me these aren’t the biggest hypocrites ever. I like Jonathan and Victoria better. Heck, I like Kelly “you got out of the army by being a POW” Beauty Queen better.
Everyone Likes a Dirty Girl: The Bransen girls chat about how muddy and dirty they are. Wet t-shirt contest anyone? I envision millions of male ears perking up as they speak. They talk about how they are not girly girls and like to get dirty, play in the mud and run in the rain. My kind of women. [Associate Editor’s Note: I bet lots of male eyes just bugged out there…]
Poor Innocent Us: At the yield, the Weavers snipe at everyone. We saw most of this clip in the actual show, but there’s more to it here. They whine that everyone gangs up on them, but they don’t care. They start examining their picture up on the yield talking about how cute each of them looks, doing mock compliments about how great they are. Then, they look at the Paolo picture and insult the garbage truck behind them. Tell me your father would condone such behavior, kids. Honestly. He seemed like a hard-working guy from all you’ve said. Would he like to see you mock another hard-working man?
The mocking continues, as my attempts at playing a conscience come way too late, and even Linda gets into it, saying how rude it was to be yielded. Apparently it is not rude to pull out the Godlewski sisters’ picture and talk about how much their boobs cost. Linda tells them sort of to stop it because it’s on TV. Yeah, that’s why you should stop calling the Paolo kid a squirrel and a retard. Yep. Linda tells the kids it’s a compliment they’ve been yielded because they’re strong competition.
Holier Than Thou - Again: The Weavers, still at the yield, whine that they are here to play a game, not defeat character like everyone is doing to them. Hold on a moment while I choke in disbelief. Yes, this is at the yield. The same yield they just finished calling people retards at. I can’t believe they are this clueless and blind. Linda mentions how the Paolo mom said they didn’t like the Florida team (a.k.a. the Weavers) and she doesn’t understand why people wouldn’t like them. She says they haven’t said bad things about anyone. Again, I choke. She says it may cost them the game but they are “responsible to a higher authority.” If there is a God, I hope he’s quickly disowning them about now.
“I know it’s a game, but there are morals too” Linda proclaims. Plus, did you know they didn’t talk about people? I didn’t, because I’d swear I heard them calling breast integrity into play earlier. Linda states it might cost them the game, but they won’t play that way, and they have had a good time, she says. Then the rude-looking daughter (the one with the streaked hair) says “It’s all fake, right down to their hair color—bottle blondes!”
I don’t know what else to say about them right now. Just wow.
Strategic Moves: The Paolo team, while driving, fills us in on the yield decision. Brian calls the Weavers “two-faced and deceiving” and mentions that they try to be conniving, but everyone knows about it. When they were in first place, he elaborates, they wanted nothing to do with anyone. Now, apparently, they are begging for help from the Paolos (and everyone) and claiming they’ll repay it later on. Brian says they asked them to book flights for them! The Paolos also mention that the Weavers are damn lucky and suddenly get to places like magic (I’m sure the Weavers think God is watching them). Per D.J. as he drives, their strategy was to do the first Fast Forward they found and they did, to do the first yield. As they got to the yield, he says, the other teams were all right there, except the Weavers, so they chose to do the Weavers and hope to really delay someone. It was all strategy.
Like Jenn in her main recap, I am wondering what happened to the Paolos this week. I’m really liking them! D.J. is being human! Of course, in comparison to the Weavers, all faults pale.1 2 3 Next-->
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