An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Guatemala, Episode 10: He Knew It

This week will be a surreal experience. Jamie’s rampant paranoia caused him to be voted out, effectively creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nothing would have happened had he not endlessly pestered everyone about his position. So his videos will be full of him saying “I knew it all along” and “I could tell.” I’ll just mention it here once for the sake of everyone’s sanity, and for the fun of it I’ll keep a running total.

Also, regular readers remember that I promised that I would edit his responses heavily, because Jamie can’t seem to shut up long enough to give a coherent answer. I thought Bobby Jon was bad last season, but GEEZ. So it should be noted that the videos are MUCH longer on the website than they are here.

Jamie’s Final Words: He knew everyone was lying, he’s got a sixth sense about it (one). He’s not mad about Stephenie because she was a liar in Palau (so why did you ally with her?) but Rafe gave him his word as a man (no, he refused to give you an answer) so a million dollars isn’t worth losing that. Actually, I’d love to be called the lying unmanly millionaire. It hurts that Lydia voted for him because he took care of her. Not that we saw it. People are funny and he trusted the wrong people.

He’ll appreciate things more. He missed his twin brother. There’s another one of him? He wanted to go further, but honor is a huge thing. He doesn’t want to lie… anymore. He should have worked harder to get rid of Steph. They couldn’t trust each other. What hurts is he always warned Lydia when she was in trouble and she never warned him, even though he knew she was lying to him (two). “It hurts when good people go bad.” Because “going bad” apparently means playing a game by its rules and getting rid of someone who is driving you nuts. But Jamieland is a fun, happy place, so let’s not disturb that – he’s disturbed enough as it is.

Jamie, the Day After: This was, no surprise, split into two videos. They are combined and shortened here.

He feels pretty good, he was a little disappointed. He knew something was going on the last day, he thought he was being paranoid, but his instincts were right (three). Besides that, he played to the best of his abilities. No one put more into challenges than him. Things happen and you start to lose yourself.

At the beginning, he felt calm, but after about day 15 or 20, you have a lot of time to think and wonder. And it’s so hot, and you always have mosquitoes buzzing in your ear, so you never have quiet to really think. Go ahead and re-read those last two sentences. You can go insane if you think too much. Yep. I don’t think the buzzing he was hearing was mosquitoes.

If he was going to stay in the game, he was going to have to be more OK with leaving the game than he was. Whaaaaaa? He was too worried about leaving, he was getting paranoid. But it turns out he wasn’t paranoid, they were trying to get his ass out (four).

The Survivor experience can’t be explained, it just hits you all at once. If you want the full experience, get blindsided, that’s the way to go. But wait, I thought he KNEW it was coming? Are we sure we’re not hearing from both twins? If someone tells you you’re going, you’re upset all tribal council. He had an idea (five) but once he saw that third vote, he knew someone turned in his group and he got blindsided. Again, if he knew it was coming… ah, nevermind, I have a headache already.

There’s so many things he wanted to do. He wanted a chance to win the car. He won’t have a chance to hug his mom in Guatemala. It’s huge. When you vote someone out, you’re voting for them not to see their loved one. You’re kind of killing their dream, in a way.

Am I the only one who thinks that’s pretty pathetic? I mean, it’s nice to have goals, but all those people who have to go to Guatemala or Palau or wherever in order to appreciate their loved ones, or whose dream in life is to win Survivor needs a serious smack upside the head and a serious examination of priorities. I don’t get it.

His worst day would be the hike. He was chafing and sick, he wondered if every Survivor goes through. Everyone else loved the hike, which is funny. He was hungry, hot, had “skeeters” all over him…

While he was in the game, he craved disagreement. Everyone gets along, because they want your vote at the end. He wanted a disagreement where he’d still be someone’s friend. That never really happened. Seeing as not arguing is one of the common sense rules that Survivors should have learned…

Bobby Jon told him he has no class, and in the south them’s fighting words. Gary thought he lied, and {covering mouth with his hand and mumbling} he didn’t lie to him. If anything, he craved trusting people to the point where he can argue with them. Valid point, but from what I saw, he had that with Judd. And maybe Rafe and Lydia. It makes him appreciate his twin brother more. They might argue, but he knows he’s still his brother and he’s going to stick by him.

When he heard his name called three times, he knew his alliance had turned on him. You feel faint, you know you’re not going to win the million and the hopes and dreams of a lifetime are shattered… shattered… SHATTERED, BY GOD, never to return! It’s almost not worth living! Your heart breaks and you’ll cry yourself to sleep every night for the rest of your life!

OK, I embellished a little bit, but he’s being just a TAD maudlin. Finding out that the love of your life has cheated on you, that’s shattered. Losing a parent or child, that’s shattered. Losing a television game show, even one as great and celebrated as Survivor, get the hell over it. Hell, I can even see this reaction being voted out first. But he’s whining about it for over two minutes. Shut up!

Southern (Dis)comfort: Jamie apparently ran off at the mouth SO MUCH that they needed a third clip from his next-day interview. He was surprised that there were so many southerners. Dude, there were even more last season. He wanted to bring it back to Georgia. Is the entire state worth a million dollars? I doubt it. Some people are used to camping and starving, I guess because the backwoods of Georgia are as bad as Guatemala? The south isn’t claiming Cindy. I’m sure the south would much rather have yabos like you and Bobby Jon and James from Palau than anyone intelligent. Which is why I’m glad I live in the Midwest. Can this idiot shut up already?