The Amazing Race 8 Insider, Episode 9: TAR Lite

That’s what this season is—less taste, less filling, less calories. I caught an episode of TAR4 on The Gameshow Network or whatever it’s called. I didn’t start watching until season six, so I hadn’t seen it. It was like a cruel, cruel reminder of what we’re missing this season. I was sucked in, even without knowing who was who and what was what, by the fervor, the tasks, the frenetic pace as they ran through India and were pulled through mud and probably poo. It was fantastic! I anxiously await the next season and hope it returns to its roots, after this hideous fiasco known as Family Edition.

That said, let’s jump right into the clips, shall we?

Utah State of Mind: The Bransens drive about while one girl talks about how she likes Utah, especially Park City and Salt Lake City and Bart the Bear. Heh. They are glad there was lots to do in Utah, and one vows to come back to Park City in the winter. Bet that guy will still be waiting for you and calling out “if you live, let’s go out!”

So What?: In their car, the Linzes discuss the Weavers’ recent insanity at the shuttles, immediately post-Pit Stop. They question why Ma Weaver and crew chattered about sleeping in a bed when the Linzes (and everyone else) also had a full twelve hours in a bed, then their drive to the next task, and then some more time in the comfort of their camper waiting for the task to start. [And goddamn the producers anyway for that. I loathe how there are so many bunch ups, cutting away any lead a team had. It’s getting worse and worse.] One brother quips “They can have all the sleep they want. I just won a trip to Wyoming.”

Take My Sister…Please: The Linzes are stuck in road construction, so Nick saunters up to the stop sign worker to see if he can finagle a way past him. He chats up the worker, but no dice, because of course, the man could lose his job. Nick is extremely cool about this, and I’m happy. The man does mention that another team did the same thing just awhile back, so someone is obviously ahead of them. It was a woman driving, but that’s all the info he gets. Nick wanders back and fills the crew in. Megan is trying to get into the trailer, so she misses what comes next. One of the brothers says they can make it worth the man’s while and jokes that they can give him Megan. “Take my sister. She’s pretty.” Another calls out “Megan, put some make up on!” and she’s all like “what?” Pretty soon it’s flying fast. “He can have her for five bucks.” “She’s extra baggage.” And they’re all falling over themselves laughing, and she still doesn’t get it. Snarfle.

I really adore this team.

Bratty Behaviour: I’m really trying to downplay the Weaver angle of this. They can’t be off my screen yet, but I can at least minimize how much we focus on them here. However, some comments must be made over the next few clips. In this one, the Weavers are in the car crowing over their behavior at the wait for the shuttles. Linda says they were so excited to still be there (boo) and were kind of “bratty” at the school. She goes over what she said (the whole, wasting a yield, hours of sleep in a bed, etc) and it’s with that total, high school mentality of “I totally burned you!” that I expect from Kelso on That’ 70s Show, not from a mother of three. Rebecca snarks that she’s sorry the other teams are so bad they have to use a Yield to get first place.

Then she mentions that people “here” don’t have a lot. Whether she means Utah in general or just the area they were in at that moment, I have no idea. However, I have read some of the articles about this family post-Roy’s death, and it goes on and on about their hardships and how people had to jump up to the plate for the poor widow. For example, they were homeschooled, but of course, Linda had to work, right? Well, some nice Christian school gave her a job and gave the kids free tuition (or reduced or something) on top of that. So I’m thinking that snarking over people being poor is probably not something she should be doing. I’m just saying.

Oh, and the kicker comes when Rebecca claims that they like the race now without their stuff better because it’s finally “a challenge.” She might have a modicum of truth to that, since this has been a particularly LAME season. However, I don’t believe for an instant they are happy to be working harder. This is all part of that Waffle-House-effect mentality that we saw earlier. Remember, when the mom said to lie about how they were feeling, so they started acting crazy in the parking lot? This is a more subtle version of trying to psych themselves up.

Get A Job: I truly love this little snippet. Rebecca, while driving, has stopped and is yelling her life story out the window to another car. She’s explaining about the race and how they have no money, but the other teams have $89, so they need money. An incredulous voice off-screen states, “You want money? Are you crazy? I work for a living! Go to work. Get a job.”

That thud on the ground is me falling off my chair laughing. God, I wish I knew who those people were. I’d give them a twenty just for the entertainment factor. Linda tells Rebecca to “just go, go!” and they drive off while Rebecca shrieks “Oh my gosh,” honks her horn angrily, and mutters “stupid people!” Rolly tells her she’s been rejected, and she starts mocking what the man said to her. That nasty light in her eyes comes back as she does it. Sigh. That’s such a horrible look to see in someone so young.

Someone in the back says something that sounds like “Utah people aren’t giving.” Linda says they are glad they are not in Florida. I take this to mean she’s glad the Utahan’s aren’t in Florida, which makes sense because that would make them Floridians, ya know? Anyhoo, Rebecca says there are tons of them in Florida. I listened to this three times, and my gist of it is this: They think Utah people aren’t giving and are glad they are not in Florida, but in Florida there are tons of giving people.

Wow. Just wow. Linda ends the clip by saying she’ll keep “taking care of them.” Whether she means taking out the Utah people, begging money, or taking care of her kids, I have no clue.

Begging For Dollars: Rebecca Weaver informs us she is in charge of the money issue, and they already have seventeen dollars. She finds this acceptable, since they haven’t had time to do some serious work on it. She then tells us a fun little story that exemplifies their insular upbringing and rude, hypocritical behavior. At a gas station, she says, she went up to a lady and told her story and wanted money. The woman looked up at her and said “Please?” Rebecca says she replied, “Is that like a yes or no, because I don’t know what please means in Utah?”

That thudding? That’s my head against the desk. She meant, you silly little twit, that you should say PLEASE when asking people for things. A two-year-old could get that reference. Anyway, the woman listens to that and says “No,” according to Rebecca. The precious little witch then goes up to a guy there and tells him the same story, and he apparently tells her he doesn’t give money to street people. I snicker a little bit and wish they’d shown the clip rather than just had the twit tell us the story.