Survivor: Guatemala - Who Will Go in Episode 13?

It’s Episode Thirteen, and even though things should be winding down and groups pairing up, I have yet to see a solid alliance remain intact. I must say, this season is nothing if not unpredictable...which I love!

My daughter continues her toying nature this week, as she once again picks Rafe as the next Survivor to depart. She clearly has her mom’s dry sense of humor and is simply stringing me along for the fun of it. But what can I do? She’s a baby, for Probst’s sake!

Let’s now take a moment to summarize our remaining contestants. I’ve got a gay Mormon who seems to be sitting pretty with a solid shot at the finals. I’ve got a skeletal K.C. Chiefs fan who has maneuvered her way out of sixth place and into solid swing vote status. I have a temperamental little fishmonger who fluctuates from camp clown to hungry beggar. There’s a mysterious zookeeper that’s impossible to label with any specific emotion (unless you’ve doused her with coffee). And last, but most indubitably not least, is the grandmaster. The two-timer. The former player who thinks she’s running everything but still hasn’t figured out the game.

Rafe is connected to Cindy via the reward getaway. Danni is connected to Rafe via “trust” and discussion before the last vote. Stephenie is connected to Danni via another reward getaway and a possible “athletic girl” respect (i.e. you trounced me in courtball, so I’ve gotta respect you). Lydia is connected to Stephenie as her vote lackey throughout the game. Cindy is connected to Lydia via a possible outsiders alliance. And the rib bone is connected to the hip bone! So where does that leave us?

Quite frankly, I haven’t a clue. The original “Tribe of Four” (sans Judd) would still seem to be intact, leaving Stephenie, Rafe, and Cindy together to vote off Danni and then Lydia. But with Cindy’s exclusion from the last group vote at Tribal Council, she may feel on the outs, allowing Danni and/or Lydia to swoop in. Then again, perhaps the majority will target the now obvious challenge threat, Rafe. Or maybe they’ll continue on their “not to be trusted” purge and vote out Stephenie next. And of course there’s always the “car twist” which was mentioned in the promos this week. That could easily wreak havoc with the emotions and strategy of the players.

Do you see what I’m getting at? The game is still in such flux that there’s no clear direction in this penultimate episode. So if you’ll permit me to go off on a tangent for a bit...

...My computer was built sometime around the late Cretaceous Period (in computer years). And it seems to have been running more and more slowly lately. So this past week I bought a new motherboard, new case, and new RAM in order to bring my computer slightly more up-to-date.

After putting the computer back together, however, I discovered that little mister Windows XP decided not to play along. Apparently, since he sensed a new motherboard, he thought he was in a different computer and proceeded to shut down.

Now I know enough about computer hardware that I can transfer my hard drive back to my old computer and get back online to Google a solution. Apparently I was supposed to use a Recovery Console function on my Windows CD, but I went ahead and found a technical support number for Microsoft just in case.

After switching my hard drive back to my new computer and trying to use the Recovery Console (to no avail), I called the technical support line. I ended up speaking with a fellow named Nitin (I swear that’s his real name in all its palindromic glory). Nitin was either an Indian or an Artificial Intelligence. At times he had a very thick Eastern accent, but at other times I could swear I was talking to Stephen Hawking. At any rate, Nitin asked for my product key, and proceeded to read it back to me in pilot talk – Echo Bravo Charlie, did I hear a Niner in there?

I then described my situation to him, but before I could get any further I was told that he could no longer help me since I had a product manufacturer’s copy of XP. I explained that I had received this copy of Windows a couple of years ago as a Christmas present, but he would have none of it. I either had to get online and use the Windows Support Services website or speak to a technical professional for a $35 fee (Gasp! Was Nitin not a technical professional then?). After telling him that in my computer’s current state I couldn’t get online and that I wasn’t about to pay an extra fee to help fix some software that initially costs the equivalent of a small country, he told me there was nothing more he could do.

Long story short (too late), I told him that I would contact the Better Business Bureau and that I was switching to Linux. Then I hung up. Now I realize that threatening Microsoft with the BBB is akin to swatting at a Grizzly with a feather (they probably have about half a billion little red marks and could care less). And I realize that switching to Linux was an idle threat if ever there was one. But I felt that I had to do something!

Nevertheless, I was eventually able to borrow a spare hard drive from my brother and reformat/reboot using that. So what’s the point of this story? How does this story relate to Survivor...? It doesn’t. I just wanted to vent and point out that Microsoft is evil.

Oh, and Stephenie will be voted off next with Lydia going if Steph wins immunity. For what reason? Uh... let’s say eyebrow envy from the other gals. Uh, yeah. That’s it...

Wesley is a writer and English teacher from Tulsa, OK. His favorite palindrome is “Go hang a salami; I’m a lasagna hog.” He can be reached with questions, comments, or snide remarks at Musnud@Gmail.com.

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