Survivor Exile Island, Episode 6 Missing Intelligence Award: Puzzle Me This

Welcome back to another week of Survivor, and another week where intelligence runs rampantly… away! It amuses me how easy it is to do dumbass things when the stakes are so high. That’s what makes Survivor so fascinating to me - it’s a study of people under extreme stress of a multi-faceted nature, and from my un-comfy couch, I shall judge them. Yay me!

One contender offered up might be Cirie for not throwing the challenge in order to oust InShane before he made kissy-kissy with the twit twins. However, throwing a challenge is never a good idea, because you never know what Burnettian twist will make you regret you ever lived. In Pearl Islands, we saw Rupert’s team throwing a challenge and losing Rupert for a few days to the enemy. That win and the consequent visit of Uber-Survivor-Pirate-Rupert charged the pathetic losing tribe and spurred them on to victories. This week, losing might have sent InShanity CigBoy to Exile Island and Cirie packing. So, no award for Cirie.

Dan spilled the beans about his true profession, but at this point, I do not think it hurt him. What hurt him was blowing the puzzle challenge so Sally got sent to Exile Island. So, does this deserve an MIA? It definitely gets honorable mention! We all have days we’re off our game, and that was Dan and Sally’s day.

Dan also deserves a mention for being too honorable! He needed to consider voting against Terry. Snag the two young guys and say “this is how we get rid of our power” and get them to vote for Terry. Then go to Terry and pick which of the young guys you’re going to vote for. Terry uses his idol and Nick or Austin goes home. Now, Terry would have been an idiot to do it, but it was a plan Dan should have been flexible enough to try. Anyway, Dan this week is a close, but no cigar, contender for the prize. Sally also gets her hand on this one for not doing the puzzle that well.

Nick and Austin did the right thing this week in gunning for Dan. Terry could have the idol, so wait until you’re at the merge so it can’t backfire on you hopefully. Dan was the weakest link other than Sally at this point. Terry probably did the right thing as well. Although he’d be better off in the long run with Loyal, But Alabaster Dan, forcing a tie tends to be a bad, bad thing.

I would give Danielle and Courtney MIA’s, but sometimes, I don’t think there is any intelligence there to miss. Seriously. They are easily led, fueled by emotion, and in general, unpleasant people. Another honorable mention to them.

Bruce sort of non-existed this episode, so nothing on him. Arass didn’t really do a ton to move me, so nothing for him either.

This leaves me with our winner this week: Gimme-A-Cig-Gimme-A-Hug-Get-Out-Of-My-Face InShane. He whines and bitches incessantly about his alliance and individual tribemates right in front of them! He flips out at the drop of a hat. He walks like he’s making diamonds down there. Okay, that doesn’t earn you a reward, but DAMN does it annoy me. He totally has that “walk of the white trash hose beast,” eh?

InShane’s incredible desire to first swear on his son’s life, and then to need to take it back is amazing. Telling his alliance he wants out to be “a lone wolf” astounds me. It has to be one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history. If he makes it to final two, people like Danielle and Courtney just might be on the jury (egads!) and by constantly alienating them, telling them they are dumb, and otherwise abusing them, he stands little chance of garnering their vote.

And the dumbest thing InShane did this week: SMOKE CIGARETTES! He should never have flooded his system again. Moron.

So, for being whiny, bitchy, moody, rude, disrespectful, and overly addicted, Shane, here is your beautiful new reward! Hope you find your intelligence soon!

Heathyr Fields Ford resides in central Washington with a terribly patient boyfriend. An aspiring writer, she loves fan mail and suggestions for each week’s MIA, so email her at heathyranne@hotmail.com.

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