The Amazing Race 9, Episode 3: Valley of the Dolls

Previously on In Case You Haven’t Heard, Eric & Jeremy Like Girls: Ten teams traveled through Brazil and Eric & Jeremy liked the Double Ds. Eric & Jeremy and BJ & Tyler led the pack and Eric & Jeremy liked girls. Lisa & Joni and Fran & Barry (Frankenberry, as Mike calls them) were behind, like the behinds Jeremy & Eric admire on Brazilian cross-dressing possible prostitutes. At the roadblock, Fran was nice to Danielle, whom Eric & Jeremy like. The detour choices were sugar vs. water. Frankenberry ran into trouble, again, some more, and their car battery dying didn’t help. BJ & Tyler were first to the pit stop, just beating Eric & Jeremy, who you might have heard like girls. Joni & Lisa were last and were eliminated. Nine teams are left:

BJ & Tyler - Friends/Sentimental favorites

Eric & Jeremy - Friends/Like boys… I mean girls/Dead to me

Monica & Joseph (Team Mojo) - Dating/Less annoying last week, but I still don’t have much of an opinion of them

Dave & Lori (Team Frink) - Dating/Sentimental favorites/I love them

Ray & Yolanda - Dating/Definitely have an athletic advantage

Wanda & Desiree (Team Boricua) - Mother and daughter/Becoming sentimental favorites

Lake & Michelle - Married/He really needs to shut up

Dani & Danielle (Double D) - Friends/Possibly smarter than they appear

Fran & Barry (Frankenberry) - Married/Sentimental favorites/Dangerously close to elimination

We’re in beautiful Brotas, Brazil, where the teams spent the night at a plantation. During the mandatory rest period, Eric & Jeremy “hooked up” with Tyler & BJ. Oh, wait. They hooked up with the Double Ds. Come on, Ds. You deserve so much better. Phil wonders if this “friendship” (or whatever) will turn into an alliance. He also wonders if Frankenberry will pull themselves out of last place.

Tyler & BJ are the first to leave at 4:48 a.m. Their clue tells them to drive to a 300-foot zipline, which they will both have to ride to get their next clue. Tyler says that people probably assume there’s not much more to them than being laidback and carefree. They’re determined to win. Eric & Jeremy leave next and reveal that they’ve received $307 for the leg. They decide to name their car Danielle. Eric interviews that they have fun at the pit stops, but when they’re racing, it’s just them. Mojo leaves next as Monica interviews that she’s impressed by how calm and optimistic Joseph has been. She’s never seen that side of him before. Frink is the next to go. Lori says that this is a great experience for them because they haven’t traveled much outside of the U.S.

BJ & Tyler arrive at the zipline… but it doesn’t open until 7. (Somewhere, Mike is screaming about equalizers.) [Assistant Editor’s Note: Indeed he was.] The hippies hide so that they can scare Jeremy & Eric when they arrive. Interestingly, as they’re arriving, Eric & Jeremy are talking about how they don’t trust Tyler & BJ. Jeremy tells the hippies that they’re really in Argentina and need to go back the way they came. Mojo arrives and the guys tell them that they’ve already done the zipline. When Frink pulls in, Tyler & BJ scare them, then jump on their car.

Ray & Yolanda leave next as Ray talks about how the race will allow them to get to know each other better. Most people don’t get this kind of chance to see their significant others like this. Boricua departs next and Desiree says that Wanda sometimes overreacts. Desiree’s role will be to stay positive and focused. It’s 7, so the first four teams head to the zipline. The hippies try to lead a military chant but one of them says “zipkines” instead of “ziplines,” so it falls apart before it really gets started. Lake & Michelle leave the pit stop and Lake says that Michelle plays it safe but holds him back sometimes, which she needs to do.

The Ds leave next, talking about playing with their brains and hearts instead of their breasts. Interestingly, Lake & Michelle get lost before they get too far from the plantation. Aw, that’s a shame. Over at the zipline, Tyler is the first to go, shouting, “Bonzai!” BJ is next. They get the clue, which tells them to fly to Moscow, which is about 7,300 miles away. Yay, Russia! They’re thrilled, too. When they arrive, they are to find Chaika Bassein, a water sports facility where Olympic high-jumpers have trained. They are to drive to a bus station, where they’ll get a departure time for one of three buses to the airport. The hippies butt each other’s helmets.

Jeremy & Eric zip, followed by Mojo. Lori is freaking out but goes anyway, as does Dave. The first three teams leave as Ray & Yolanda arrive and Frink is heading out as Boricua arrives. Lori tells Boricua to enjoy the zipline. Lake & Michelle are still lost. Lake stands on the roof of their bug to look around, then decides that they need to go back the way they came. “If you don’t shut up…,” he starts to threaten Michelle. These two are dead to me, too.

Frankenberry leave the pit stop almost four hours after Tyler & BJ. Yikes. They’re going to give it their all anyway. At the zipline, a nervous Yolanda does her thing. Desiree is also nervous but she and Wanda both go. Eric & Jeremy, BJ & Tyler, and Mojo all arrive at the bus station and get on the first bus, which leaves at 9:15. Frink arrive shortly after and get on the same bus. The Ds zip and Lake & Michelle finally arrive at the zipline. The Ds are happy that Michelle & Lake are behind them. Ray & Yolanda and Boricua all reach the bus station and get on the second bus, which leaves at 10:15.